Editing Celestial Lions

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Celestial Lions
|Heraldry = [[File:Celestial_Lions_Livery.png|150px]]
|Battle Cry = "We are the Emperor's pride. [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Hear us roar!]]" 
|Number = 
|Founding = Sometime in the 38th Millennium 
|Successors of = [[Imperial Fists]]
|Successor Chapters =
|Chapter Master = Unknown (Previously Ekene Dubaku [[Officio Assassinorum|who got shanked]] by [[Inquisition|pure salt]])
|Primarch = Rogal Dorn
|Homeworld = Elysium IX (destroyed, no thanks to the [[Rage|FUCKING INQUISITION]]
|Specialty = Messing with the [[Inquisition]], flanking tactics, being an actual Space African chapter unlike the [[Salamanders (Chapter)#Peculiarities|Salamanders]]
|Strength = After Armageddon, [[Grimdark|less than 95]]. Now [[Noblebright|rebuilding]], numbers unknown.
|Allegiance = [[Imperium]]
|Colours = [[Stormcast Eternals|Gold, with blue helmet and pauldrons]].
}}
{{topquote|Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults, whoever rebukes the wicked incurs [[Blam|abuse]].|The Bible, Proverbs 9:7 (New International Version)}}

The '''Celestial Lions''' (calling them "Celestial ''Loins''" would be a joke in poor taste, given their tremendous losses of late) are a chapter of [[Space Marines]] in the [[Warhammer 40,000]] universe.  They are an object lesson of what happens to people who try and mess with the [[Inquisition]] without serious backup (like being a [[First Founding]] chapter and/or [[Space Wolves|staying at legion strength]]).  It is unknown if the Inquisition is going to survive the return object lesson of what happens to those who fuck with the Space Marines. Especially Space Marines who are now best-buds with the Black Templars. With Guilliman's return, who has an express zero tolerance for stupid waste, especially with that [[Great Rift|big new jelly stain covering the galactic map]], that return object lesson is now pretty much assured. 

== Chapter Culture==
The Celestial Lions are a very brotherly, compassionate chapter, whose fraternal nature comes from the fact that they only recruit from the warrior tribes of the world Elysium IX. As they all come from a culture that values community, legacy, and courage, all the Lions hold those values as paramount. More than most other chapters, their world's culture holds sway in their conduct. The Lions are very informal to those within their own ranks, with even basic battle brothers talking to their superiors as brothers and equals, though they are disciplined on the battlefield and they show great respect to the officers of other forces, particularly the other [[Black Templars|sons]] [[Imperial fists|of]] [[Crimson Fists|Dorn]]. Another quirk of their chapter culture is the [[Space Wolves|value they place on storytelling and the great respect they give to talented storytellers]]. Within their chapter it is common for a squad to gather and tell stories of their heroes and their own exploits before an engagement. If an outsider is present in one of their ships or bases the visitor is expected to pay for their "food and fire" by telling a story from their own people's legends or that individuals exploits and as such they love serving alongside Guardsmen for the [[Ollanius Pius|stories]] [[Ciaphas Cain|they]] [[Commissar Yarrick|tell]]. Though they are very different from their [[imperial fists|typical]] [[Black Templars|grim]] cousin chapters, they are proud sons of [[Rogal Dorn|Dorn]] through and through. Most of this can be inferred from the short story in the Helsreach book.

==Clash with the Inquisition==
The Celestial Lions came into conflict with the [[Inquisition]] during the pacification of the world Khattar. Khattar was a [[Ecclesiarchy|Shrine World]] with a large, faithful population. When the upper echelons of the priesthood fell into worship of the [[Chaos|Ruinous Powers]], an Inquisitor Lord by the name of Apollyon (which is the Greek equivalent of "Destroyer", i.e. [[Abaddon]]) called for an Imperial Navy blockade of the world in addition to Astartes support, a call that the Celestial Lions answered. After months of brutal fighting, the Celestial Lions managed to cut the head off the local heretic priests, and with that, the world's population lost the will to fight and surrendered to the Astartes. As the Lions were withdrawing, Inquisitor Apollyon decided that [[wat|since the priesthood had been corrupt, the surrendering and repentant civilian population must also be corrupt]], so he ordered Exterminatus on the planet. The Lions [[RAGE|were not fucking amused]]. After Apollyon refused to be held accountable for the senseless massacre, saying it was necessary, the Lions sent a Strike Cruiser with a delegation of Deathspeakers and Warleaders (Chaplains and Captains, respectively) to [[Terra|Holy Terra]] with the intention of entreating the High Lords of Terra to call the Inquisition to task over what they'd done. The ship was discovered two years later in Ork-controlled space, with nobody left alive in it, nowhere even close to its intended destination.  This is a little deeper than it looks, too, as Exterminatus is reserved for planets that are too far lost to be ever recovered by the Imperium.  Seeing as that was clearly not the case here, their story is perhaps meant to demonstrate how dangerous a rogue Inquisitor is.

If anything, their stubbornness proves they are true sons of Rogal Dorn.

==Third War for Armageddon== 
[[File:Celestial Lions Astartes.png|thumb|right|200px|They're as badass as they look]]
Fast-forward to the Third War for [[Armageddon]]. The entire chapter was deployed to a single hive, and thanks to spectacularly bad intelligence they ended up outnumbered, unsupported, and taking heavy losses at every battle, culminating in a mission in which the supposedly inactive Gargants they were sent to destroy proved to have been lying in wait for them along with several [[Ork]] warbands backing them up- all of which had apparently been warned of the Lions' planned attack some time beforehand.  Matters came to a head when "[[Vindicare Assassin|Ork snipers]]" managed to take out most of the survivors (especially the Apothecaries), and their last [[Apothecary]] was found dead next to the Chapter's last [[Land Raider]] (having been shot through the head with a [[lasgun]] at point blank range and the gene-seed he was carrying stolen), leaving them without any means to recover the [[gene-seed]] from their fallen. The remaining 95 Lions realized that they had been marked for death and decided that they would fight off all the Orks on Armageddon or die trying, and contacted [[Grimaldus|Chaplain Grimaldus]] of the [[Black Templars]] to administer their last rites, but he insisted that the remainder of the Chapter could still restore its honour (and thus be allowed to leave) by slaying the warlord leading the Ork forces in the area. To support his weakened cousins Grimaldus used his influence as the 'Hero of Helsreach' to get support from several regiments of [[Imperial Guard]]. While much of the remaining forces of the Celestial Lions were wiped out in the attack, they were successful in redeeming themselves when Ekene Dubaku killed the Orkish Warlord with Grimaldus's help. What's more, it is mentioned Orks' structures in the valley were sabotaged during battle by an unknown force, presumably, Inquisition's own operatives, taking some pressure off the besieging forces. So it was all but stayed the Inquisition abandoned their campaign against the remaining Lions either because the lesson had been thoroughly learnt and the Black Templars were now aware of their traitorous activity or some other Inquisitor(s) became privy to the whole thing and chastised the ones who committed it. [[Aaron_Dembski-Bowden|ADB]] must have been drunk while writing this, because it makes too much sense in-universe for his style, so it was later retconned. Ekene, the Lions only surviving Pride Leader (i.e. Squad Sergeant) was then named the new Chapter Master and given a couple of parting gifts by High Marshal Helbrecht himself: a suit of relic Imperial Fists power armor dating back to the [[Great Crusade]] along with a matching Relic Blade and the Strike Cruiser ''Blade of the Seventh Son''.

==Ultimate Fate==
The Lions are now working to rebuild with the help of a temporary detachment of Black Templar specialists, including some apothecaries and techmarines. Though it'll be hard considering there's less than ninety-five of them left and their homeworld is nuked, another Imperial Fists successor chapter recovered from near-extinction in less than a century after being reduced to 12 Marines in total. Plus, while the Inquisition may get away with bullying later-founded chapters, it would be tantamount to suicide for anyone to mess with the [[Black Templars|largest space marine chapter]] excluding the [[Dark Angels]] <strike>legion</strike>.

Now let's talk about that retcon mentioned earlier. You would think with the Indomitus Crusade going on, It's more than likely Guilliman sent some Primaris Marines to rebuild the Lions, right? RIGHT?!. NOPE, TURNS OUT, this is not the case, the Inquisition's saltyness was so severe that [[derp|they ended up never actually getting the information to CREATE PRIMARIS MARINES]] and had to get the information from their brother chapter the [[Emperor's Spears]]. It's not explicitly explained as of how that happened, but presumably they just weren't included in any relief fleets' destinations (and since those usually have Custodes to ...[[BLAM|convience]] anyone not accepting of NuMarines, one must wonder how did this come to pass).

The salt continues by the Inquisition when in the novel Spear of the Emperor states that Ekene Dubaku was beheaded by a [[Callidus]] posing as Thrall servant of Amadeus Kaias Incarius from the [[Mentors]]. So now the Inquisition, Officio Assassinorum, and the Mentors have dishonored and therefore majorly pissed off yet another Chapter ''and'' the Black Templars, and that's ignoring the fact all sons of Dorn stick together, being the closest thing to a Legion of old bar the Dark Angels. Even if the Mentors were ignorant, then those other institutions have now pissed off three Chapters and all of their friends.

Out of universe this further proves that ADB is a hack for killing off cool characters to shill his OCs (debatable inasmuch Ekene Dubaku is also his OC) and can't live a day without showing how bad and oppressive Imperium is while ignoring the fact it's ''because'' of inherit grimdarkness of the setting and not the sole reason for it. Obviously, this results in grimderp fluff. In universe on the other hand: "Ork snipers" could have been accepted for a time, grots are on the level of the human with the same ballistic skill after all, and it's not like there is concrete proof of Assassins being involved in this one: after all, each Inquisitor has a retinue, some being the size of small armies, so finding snipers shouldn't have been a problem. But now the Assassinorum has openly been involved in what most definitely qualifies as treason. Of course, this means the fact that '''EVERY''' use of an Officio Assassinorum requires authorization of the Imperial Senate (and there is a special minor Ordo with the sole purpose of ensuring this fact) is forgotten once again for the sake of the story. Receiving Inquisitorial permission or orders to kill a Chapter for enforcing the Emperor's law is... complicated to say the least. Getting the resources to actually manage it also presents a problem. Another point is that the Inquisition itself is not a single entity, with a complex net of counterbalances ensuring one person (or even a whole cabal of them) don't wield too much power without answering to anyone, effectively policing itself. For example, [[Kryptman]] and Inquisitors who supported him in destroying numerous worlds were excommunicated despite his Exterminatus campaign turning out to be justified. And we as a readers are meant to believe Inquisitors responsible for the initial incident with the Celestials Lions are not only punished for their deeds, but gathered enough support to continue their bullshit unopposed ''for one hundred years''.

Regardless, when this gets back to Guilliman, some heretics are gonna ''die'' and the Inquisition itself could take a major hit. While [[Malcador_the_Sigillite|a mere human]] opposing [[Rogal Dorn|a son of the Emperor]] by  is not without precedent, knowing the circumstances those responsible are likely to be be executed by their own colleagues to minimize the damage to their public image. That is, as long the author who gets to write it has at least a single functioning brain cell.

==Trivia==
* "[[Ork Snipers]]" has since become slang for [[Vindicare]] assassins, or more generally for any implausible cover story for an [[Inquisition]] action.
**Although given the fact the new kill team box set features [[Ork Kommando#Snipa_Boy|Ork Snipers]] they might have to change the meme to something else.
* You know who else have golden armour, blue details and star patterns? [[Stormcast Eternals|Hammers of Sigmar]]. Funny, huh?
*Blue glitter paint, or clear glitter over blue, is much easier than painting individual stars. 
* Also, "Ekene Dubaku" (Emperor rest his soul) is a badass as fuck name.
*They love catnip
*[[Space Wolves|They do not use]] [[Thunderwolf Cavalry|actual lions]]. Celestial or otherwise.

==Daily Routines==
05:00 - The Don't Wake-Up on time: The Celestial Lions awaken... later than they'd like, thanks to the Inquisition dicking around with their alarm clocks forcing some to oversleep or not get any sleep, not go off, or just spontaneously combust, or at random times hear a loud "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!" After waking they immediately recite a Litany of Hatred upon the Inquisition. During the night the Inquisition will have planted hundreds of Astartes-sized mouse traps around the beds of many groggy brothers, who walk into them.

05:15 - Morning Grooming - The Celestial Lions will attempt to ritually cleanse themselves only to find the Inquisition has replaced their Astartes-sized talcum powder with itching powder and put Bouillon cubes in their shower heads, such Inquisitorial chicanery will not go un-avenged. 

05:30 - Morning Prayer: The Celestial Lions pray to tell amazing stories, as well as troll the Inquisition. Any brother caught praying for mercy from the Inquisition is sent to the Deathwatch.

06:00 - Morning Firing Rites: The Celestial Lions tell stories to each other, and laugh heartily amongst themselves. Their targets are painted to look like Inquisitors, though some of the targets look '''VERY''' life-like.

07:00 - Morning Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions reenact battles they have been in to entertain the neophytes and children of the Imperium. Sometimes, a human dressed as an Inquisitor will be the victim of a plethora of slapstick jokes.

08:00 - Morning Feast: A great feast is prepared by the Chapter Serfs. The Serfs are invited to join the Battle Brothers at the table as they tell stories and tales of heroic deeds. Any serf who has the best story about being a troll is immediately inducted into the scout company. Any Battle Brother doing the same gets to hold the Chapter Standard for the rest of the day.

09:00 - Tactical Indoctrination: The Celestial Lions gather to make fun of the Inquisition. All the Ordos, as well as the Deathwatch and Grey Knights are talked copious amounts of shit. However, any Battle Brother who sullies the name of the Sororitas is immediately appointed as the chapter's Inquisitorial Liaison for his heresy.

10:00 - Daily Check-up: The Celestial Lions report to the Apothecarion for their checkups, known as Lifebinders. unfortunately thanks to a bad case of "shot in the face" by "Ork snipers" and that one time a titan legion "accidentally" stepped on the entire Medicae team on Armageddon they only have one apothecary, this results in much waiting in line for the Space Marine Apothecaries and reading of Astartes sized magazines while they wait.

11:00 - Midday Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions will disperse to whatever field the captains deem necessary, to cull captured Orks or traitors at this point in the day the Inquisition will usually try to pick off few more Celestial Lions, with schemes ranging from Vindicare snipers to Eversors strapped to oversized fireworks and Mechanicus issued rocket skates.

12:00 - Afternoon Feast: The Chapter gathers to laugh and tell more stories of great deeds. Serfs are encouraged to participate, encouraging them to criticize and throw the best insult at the inquisition whenever possible.

13:00 - Mail and Postage: For the next hour the Chapter Master see to matters such as answering letters from a grateful Imperium, requests for aid and sending away box tops to Mars for a new Repulsor tank etc., at this point the Inqusition will try to send some dynamite disguised as cigars to the chapters High Command, only for their scheme to literally blow up in their faces as they put their fortresses as the return address.

14:00 - Afternoon Firing Rites: Inquisitorial agents, soldiers, and assassins sent after them are placed in a field for target practice. Many times, the Chapter Serfs are allowed to take a few shots as well.

15:00 - Chaplain Motivational Speech: For the next hour the Chaplains known as Deathspeakers will extol the virtues of courage and honor while the Inquisition looks to eliminate these paragons of virtue, by dropping an inquisitorially sanctioned anvil on their heads from a Mechanicus issued weather balloon.

16:00 - Afternoon Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions meet with their Black Templar pals to practice melee and mechanized combat.

17:00 - Mechanized Field Maneuvers: The Celestial Lions will conduct armored field maneuvers involving rhinos, predators, and land raiders which unfortunately thanks to Inquisitorial meddling suffer many malfunctions such as brake-lines being cut, transports exploding, and the occasional potato shoved in the tailpipe.

18:00 - Evening Feast: The Celestial Lions, Black Templars, and Chapter Serfs all enjoy a nice meal. Everyone shares stories and tell of their feats, from killing Tau commanders and Ork Warbosses, to trolling [[Chris-chan|Zis-chan]].

19:00 - End of Day Announcements and Promotions: At the end of day the chapter High Command will bring up any declarations for the chapter or announce any promotions in the chapter, usually caused by a vacancy (of the Exitus Rifle kind), and will usually be filled by the one guy who the Inquisition failed to kill that day.

20:00 - Free time: The Celestial Lions tell each other more stories as their Templar friends depart. Whenever they find the Inquisitorial spy hiding in the air ducts, they drag him out and force him to watch video clips of Tau beating humans in melee. The sheer rage and disgust that appears on his face entertains the entire chapter. New Battle Brothers that were recruited after the nuking of Elysium IX will try various antics to try to fit in with their darker skinned brethren, such as using polymorphine [[Blood Ravens|"loaned"]] from captured [[Callidus Assassin|Callidus Assassins]] to alter their skin tone. Well intentioned brothers will be given a crash course in the lost tribal cultures of Elysium IX, pranksters who bandied about breaded and deep-fried poultry will be force-fed Bean and Okra Stew so that they may appreciate real cuisine.

21:00 - Chaplain Edict: the celestial lions will listen to their chaplain speak about courage and honor, only to find the Inquisition has replaced their sacred incense with window lean, swapped out parts of the sermon for chicken soup recipes and [[Dance Steps For GWs Space Hulk Game| dance routines]] topped off with dosing the Chaplain with a near lethal amount of helium. The end result is a squeeky skeleton man shouting about the Emperor and how he and Rogal Dorn busted a move on the Agri-world of Minced Garlic.

22:00 - Early Bedtime: Sleepy, the tired Celestial Lions will pounce into bed, only to find the Inquisition has replaced all their beds with all kinds of goofy shit, again. The resulting amounts of extreme lethargy and suicidal thoughts cause the spawning and immediate keeling over of a Great Unclean One in the realm of Nurgle.

24:00 - Real Bedtime: The Celestial Lions, after removing every last Squig from their rooms turn in for the night. Before they do so, the Chapter Master tells them all a bedtime story.

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:Black Library Armageddon by ukitakumuki.jpg|Black Templars [[Grimaldus]] and Pride Leader Ekene Dubaku kickin' Ork asses. Note how Grimaldus is far too much of a badass to look where he’s shooting.
File:Black Library Blood and Fire by ukitakumuki.jpg|Ekene Dubaku rocking the Bolt Carbine... Totally awesome. In other news, Grimaldus still isn’t looking where he’s shooting.
File:Ork Snipers.jpg|So True.
File:Celestial Lions.jpeg|We present to you, the Celestial Lions!
File:Celestial lions apothecary by rhoadesd20-d5941zd.jpg|A Celestial Lion Apothecary falling victim to an "Ork Sniper"
File:Celestial Lion from Space Marine Adventures.jpg|GW hasn't forgotten about Celestial Lions! A Lion in the Space Marine Adventures expansion set.
</Gallery>

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