Editing Female Space Marines

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[[Image:beakiegal.jpg|thumb|right|Guaranteed to garner at least 100 replies.]]

There is no tactic more effective for [[RAGE|enraging]] a die-hard [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] fanboy than discussing/drawing their [[Rule 63]] companion, '''Female Space Marines'''. Not to be confused with [[Sisters of Battle]], the canonical equivalent to Space Marines and also armed with bolters and chainswords, but ''Space Marine'' Space Marines of the Adeptus Astartes, you know, the hypermuscular ones with [[Pauldrons]]. According to [[Games Workshop]] [[canon]], the procedures that are used to create a Space Marine only work properly on male subjects, rendering female Marines impossible; however, masturbators on the internet have not allowed this to deter them. Sometimes it is pointed out that back in the [[Rogue Trader]] days, Games Workshop did briefly produce two power-armoured female models, but they were changed to "Female Adventurers in Power Armour" and were never meant to represent female Marines. Considering this is from Games Workshop, who [[Squats|routinely violates their own canon in subsequent editions]], fanbase be damned, take this as you will.

It's worth noting, though, that Games Workshop hasn't deterred /tg/ (or indeed, the [[Black Library]] writers) from coming up with ways to potentially allow for them, even with Space Marines being exclusively male being one of the rare things they've kept consistent. This is because, as was brought up in [[Daemonette|previous]] [[Monstergirls|articles]], little gets between a man and his fapbait.

==The canon part==

According to [[fluff]], the [[Space Marine]] creation process only works on males because "the [[gene-seed]] zygotes are keyed to male hormones and tissue types" ([[God-Emperor of Mankind|and presumably also Big Boss' superior dominant genes]]). This means the process was designed exclusively for males and simply will not work on women. 

From an in-universe standpoint, it was mentioned in one of the Horus Heresy books that [[Malcador the Sigillite]] had suggested making one or two of the Primarchs female, half-jokingly saying that it might help to defuse competition between them. The Emperor was not amused by this at all and insisted that it simply couldn't be done. (And really, who wants to try to argue with him about it?) 

In canon terms, the closest female equivalent to a Space Marine would be the [[Sisters of Battle|bolter bitches]], being an all-female force in power armor.

==What would a female Space Marine look like if they could exist?==
[[File:Silver Skull.jpg|right|thumb|Tina likes long walks on the beach and slaying the Emperor's foes.]]
Obviously, in the land of Rule 63 they are amazingly hot (and would totally do you), but in dark and gritty fluff-land where they would be optimised for combat rather than jacking off, they would probably have very few notable female features left following surgery and genetic fuckery; they'd have very similar musculature to males, most likely would lack breasts (due to both the removal of sex hormones and the trimming of any "fat" that would make armor uncomfortable), their body shape would only differ very slightly to a male's because of their enhanced skeletal structure, and all of this would be compounded by the fact that Space Marines are renowned for wearing fuckhuge suits of armour that obscure most of their physical features anyway. A female Space Marine with her helmet on would look like a regular Space Marine.

[[Alpharius|This means all Space Marines with their helmets on might be female ''right now'' and you wouldn't even know.]]

[[rage|FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-]]

They'd also be completely sterile. Like, more-so than the males; no sex hormones means no ovulation, assuming they even let her keep those ovaries. Progenoid glands would still play a vital role in gene-seed replication.

TL;DR they would be females modified to be as much like males as possible, leading one to ask what sex-starved Inquisitor authorized the monumentous amount of resource waste that such a project would represent.

==[[Sindri|SSSSSIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDRRRRRRIIIII!!]]==

Unexpected salvation - there are indeed (99.46% possible) Female Space Marines!...in The [[Eye Of Terror]]. Well out of it too - see, due to the nature of [[Chaos]], mutations are often a fact of life. Some desired, some not. What if one hulked out, burning, warped Chaos Space Marine secretly wishes he was the cute little girl who got flowers? Who smiled with joy? Who was so sweet?

What if his gods are listening? If the nature of Chaos is what it is to any extent, there is a chance his deity will bestow him with what he has always wanted. Though of course, he could just as easily get an extra tentacle arm, or get mutated into [[Chaos Spawn|that which must never be named]] - such is the nature of Chaos. [[Slaanesh]] especially grants this as a matter of routine, and its a safe bet to make that quite a lot of the [[Emperor's Children]] men are actually now women, or rather hermaphs. Such is the will of Slaanesh.

This was ''confirmed'' in one of the earlier Chapter Approved articles - one that re-introduced mounted [[Daemonette]]s - in which a Governer-Militant fighting a Slaanesh warband mused that there were (apparently female) creatures that [[Heresy|were once Space Marines, but no longer]]. Considering Chaos can cause [[Chaos Spawn|that which must never be named]], is anyone surprised by this?


==[[Honsou]], You Sick Fuck==

We know that you among the fans, despite all our attempts to dissaude you, want cute FEMALE SPHESS MAHREENS! And there is good news - technically, there ARE Female Space Marines IN OFFICIAL LORE. The catch? Yes there is a catch. And this one is the worst.

Your FSM is a bloated, twisted, undying, insane, mutated pregnant mother-slave only alive because she's in the Eye of Terror.

You see, [[Honsou]] of the [[Iron Warriors]], in an effort to squeeze new MAHREENS into the ranks without having to pay that other sick fuck [[Fabius Bile]] for clones, created a system of hideousness and sadness that pushes [[grimdark]] to a whole new level. He invented the [[Daemonculaba]], a system whereby a woman is chained and fed stuff which will morph her and her womb into something that was never meant to be. A boy is then (yes, a child), jammed, shoved or cut INTO the vagina and stays there for a while. When his time is ready, he, now XBAWKS HUEG and STRONG, will have to [[rip and tear|rip, tear]], or otherwise push his way out of his adoptive mother's womb/vagina. When he emerges, he will either be a skinless mutant abomination, or will emerge as a fully functional (albeit skinless) Chaos Space Marine in a fraction of the time, with all his growth stages and bionics and gene-seed already taken care of. How? [[Meme|It's fucking science]].

This goes back to our Female Space Marine - you see, while she was being morphed and changed, [[Dark Mechanicus]] Biologos hereteks worked on her body, implanting gene-seed and making her physically a Female Space Marine, even if the form is rather off. Thus, her womb can turn children as well into Space Marines by having her womb 'grow' the required organs and stages directly into their bodies in a fraction of the time, days and weeks instead of years. Thankfully for the entire universe, this horror was destroyed before Honsou realized he could stick girls in there as well, and get double the recruits, and stumble upon the secret to true Female Space Marines.

==RAEG==

RAGE is generated by the tactic in two distinct ways; either the neckbeard(s) assume that the creator of the work in question is unaware of the Space Marine fluff, and rage about his or her ignorance; failing that, it becomes clear that they are well aware of the fluff regarding these matters and willingly chose to disregard it, sending the poor neckbeards into fits of spastic rage that anyone would dare deliberately defile the sacrosanct canon of Games Workshop's masterpiece.

[[troll|Still, the aforementioned creator will just ignore him.]]

==A slightly more reasonable answer==

The problem really is one of terminology. Women can wear power armour, certainly. Women can, through steroids, incessant bodybuilding, high protein diet, and a little genetic modding, be as buff and rocking as a space marine. But what really makes a space marine a space marine is all of the extra genetically-engineered organs and DNA and whatnot cloned from the Primarchs and implanted in the right way, which is impossible for women for reasons the Emperor refused to explain. The closest thing to an exception in the fluff is any experiment involving Fabius Bile, unless the topic is Honsou of the Iron Warriors. If Fabius Bile is doing it then its kinda more likely that he'd make you a dude with titties and a weird daemon vagina than an actual female space marine, and he will do this by rebirthing you (not reincarnation) inside a bloated woman's uterus, and it should be noted that the said woman is effectively lobotomized. Because he's a swell guy like that. And even if he did make you a female space marine for reals, she still wouldn't be a space marine, just a weird, mutilated, chaos infused thing that approximates a space marine but can never truly be one.

Worth noting, however, that given that Bile's experimented on damn-near everything (including the entire civilian populations of several planets) at some point or another for his attempts to duplicate the methods for creating new space marines, there's ample evidence to suggest that [[/d/|he's tried it at least once]]. Fucking [[Slaanesh]].

Another possible reason is that all of the Primarchs are men, with male genes, thus meaning that, unless there's secretly a girl Primarch out there somewhere, female Space Marines cannot be made in the traditional sense.

==See Also==

*[[Golden Aquilas]]: /tg/ homebrew chapter, designed to cause as much RAEG and accusations of derp as possible.
*[[Space Marines]]: Rule 63 equivalent of female space...Wait.
*[[Sisters of Battle]]: the warrior nuns of the Imperium that typically are actually armed with bolters and chainswords and whom might be construed to some reasonable extent as being the 'female space marines' of Warhammer 40,000
*[[Stormcast Eternals]], GW's [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Space Marines in [[Age of Sigmar]], which can be any species and gender. 
*[[Samus]]:  How about a female Primarch?

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Sisters of anger2.png|And if you think this is bad, once a month they all gain Frenzy.
Image:1227373581722.gif|Lol. Why u mad though?
Image:Nidsrape.jpg|Brother-sister Igpay Atinlay boldly distracts the Tyranid foe.
File:Love is a Battlefield by blazbaros.png|An almost perfect example of a female space marine, complete with the typical bulky space marine form.
Image:spessbitch.jpg|Not in fact [[Horo]].
File:Female_warhammer_40k_imperium_model_--_100D0212.jpg|She'd be even scarier if she took off that mask
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Gabs.jpg|DYKE OUTTA FUCKING NOWHERE!
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Jayne.jpg|Your eyes should start bleeding right about now.
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_--_Ingunna_Daughter_of_Russ_by_Greymark.jpg|PMS BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
File:1k heresy.jpg|<s>Not</s> [[Just as planned]]. Now you know why Tzeentch doesn't invite Slaanesh to his birthday parties anymore.
File:Primarchs as teen girls.png| The Emperor made the Primarchs to be the greatest human warriors of all time, but [[Warhammer_High|even they were not immune]] to [[Rule 63]].
File:Femprah_by_Mr-Culexus.jpg|She was not amused by this development.
File:Saber ultra marine.jpg|Don't piss off Mama Smurf. Your genitals will not survive.
File:Chaos saber.jpg|Somehow still less of a failure than the real Abaddon. Of course! Her arms haven't fallen off!
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Imperial]]