Editing Jack of Clubs: 'La Mujer de Pistola'

"Gathe' round, gathe' round. I got a story to tell, ya kennit? It's about the Jack o' Clubs, the one Card tha' no one talks about. I was there when it got its name, wen th' Black Widow made 'er name and made damn near everyone in that town quake in their boots. Now, now. No need to get feisty. I was jus' gettin' to the story. It was nigh on ten winters ago..."

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"I' was a day like any other. Hot as the flames o' Lucifer hisself, and the tavern was a damn good place t' be, what with all the cold liquor and all. Brawlin' was goin' on, as usual, and many a man was drunker than... well, than any other man had ever been. There came ridin' inta town a stranger, face covered, and wouldncha know, carrying a Card. It was an elegant little pistol, mebbe a .357, w' black ebony handle and silver plating, an' th' unmistakable Club an' Jack engraved in the handle. Everyone called it 'a woman's iron,' and hardl' anyone knew how right they were.

"Th' stranger walked righ' inta the tavern, orders hisself a whiskey. All eyes on his hip, with th' little pistol hangin' there. Someone says unde' his breath 'got hisself a woman's pistol,' and everyone heard 'im. The stranger look at him, and takes off th' cover, and issa woman. Now, no one was 'xpectin' this turn of events, and everyone starts laughin'. She looks around coldly, and says in this real strong, sexy voice, 'Which o' yellabellied cowards wants to duel?'

"Now nobody was laughin'. No one was volunteerin', neither. Then, one guy in the back stands up and challenges 'er. They walk out on the street, with everyone watchin', and they stand lookin' at each other for nigh on a minute. Then, the man tries t' draw. The woman draws faster than anyone I ever seen, and fires but one shot. There's a bang like a cannon, and the poor soul what challenged her is now just two legs and a midsection.

"Now, the woman moves along, an' the town gets a few more stories about this Card; that it never chooses a man, only the fairer sex. The locals, they give it a name: La Mujer de Pistola, the Woman's Gun. The only Card I ever seen that was in the hands of a lady."

-Grungi Meadbeard