Editing Queen of Clubs: 'Widowmaker'

Bill and I happened upon her accidentally while driving the caravan a couple months back. Thought she was either the bravest or the craziest little old lady we’d ever seen. I swear! This little old granny was out for an afternoon walk in the middle of no-man’s land.  Anyhow, crazy grandma asks if we would be so kind as to take her to the next town. Bill and I agree since we feel a bit sorry for her. 

So she sits in the back of the wagon, all quiet and courteous like. Bill makes a big deal about how she could’ve been killed by bandits or something, and she just smiles and thanks him for his concern. I figured she was senile. Of course, Bill always did have a habit of bringing bad luck on us. Pack of banditos ambushed us right about then, easy prey for a group of their size.

Bill and I duck for cover, and he yells for granny to do the same. A Couple bullets fly through the hide covering the wagon. So, the mexicanos have us surrounded and outgunned. Bill and I figure we’re outta luck at this point and we get ready to take a couple banditos with us. Blaze of glory and all that, yeah?

Hey, we were gonna! Just listen.

It sounded like a steam engine! I think the Banditos were caught by surprise too since they stopped hollerin’ to listen. The steady chug-chug-chug of machinery reaches a dull roar and then… the goddamn crazy grandma starts cackling! Bullets flew out of the wagon like there was an entire goddamn army hidden in there. The stream of bullets tore through the rocks as if they were made of paper- then it made paint out of the banditos cowering behind them. When she was done painting the rock with bandito, the little old lady sighed and lowered the Gun. A massive contraption of iron and brass, eight rotating barrels slowly spun to a halt. Set upon the handle was the trademark: A Queen of Clubs.

What happened? We took her to the next town, no questions asked. My wife would never forgive me if I tangled with a widowmaker like that. 

-Half the Battle