Editing YEEEAAAH!

{{Story}}
Another story from a long time ago, this was when I was 15 or 16.
Back then me and 2 friends (A and B) were playing a bit of AD&D 2nd Edition with a Stanford student as DM that was a subtenant in A's mother's apartment.
We had a couple of relatively short campaigns with our characters. We had only 1 character each, our first and only.

At the time me and friend A were also working on our own homebrew setting, which was AWESOME!!!! and totally ruled and was the most EPIC!! stuff ever. Well, the usual nonsense a 15 year old and a 13 year old will think up.
It was a loose collection of scribbles on random sized sheets and made exactly as little sense as you think.
I was into elves and thought they were THE SHIT. So I made up no subraces cause AWESOME. I thought up Shadow Elves with lots of DARK and AWESOME powers who would turn into Shadows when they died. 
But then there also were the pinnacle of AWESOME Death Elves. I was also into Terranigma at the time. So Death elves were 12foot tall with 4 arms and 4 wings and EPIC POWERS and raw AWESOME and stuff. Yeah. Lets not linger on that.

Well, obviously both were denied by the DM cause they made no sense and were gamebreakingly OP. But somehow I talked him into a different version of Death Elves. 
About 8 feet tall, they were a caste based feline humanoid race that for god knows what reason had 4 arms. I got a str and con racial bonus and something something penalty I entirely forgot.
I kinda sucked at naming so he was called Mordaan or something similarly silly.

Friend A had a Halfing rogue he called Farrel. He was sort of unremarkable and I barely remember anything besides the name.
Friend B had a half elf? I think. He was a bard and called Falktentalk or something similarly weird. 

I don't recall much from the earlier campaigns, they were pretty short.
But after a few of them when we were lvl 10-12 or something, moderately powerful, the DM started a really big campaign with lots and lots of build up.

I kinda forgot the plot but it had something to do with Drow plotting a large scale attack on humans or so. It started slowly and while I forgot most of what happened, I recall a scene early on.
Humans in this country were pretty racist towards demihumans so we ended up getting into trouble with them on occasion. 

After getting into trouble with them and waking up behind bars for some nonsense we had to break out. It was a pretty small prison with only 5-6 guards or so. Since we had been captured, of course we had none of our stuff and it was all elsewhere in the prison.

One day when a guard opened the cell to feed us we decided now is the time to make an escape.
The DM kept nudging us towards keys on a certain guard's belt and our rogue actually made an attempt to steal them. But failed. And was noticed. 
So obviously he guards slammed the cell door in our face and that should have been the end of this but I realized that I am an 8 foot tall guy with 4 arms and 19 strength (which was a big deal in AD&D). So I decided to screw this key business and just tried to unhinge the door (a big, heavy and sturdy wooden door, it was kind of a makeshift prison) from its frame. After a high roll the DM begrudgingly let me do this.

But that's only where the fun starts.
Of course the guards were now attacking us and entirely blocking our way out of the room so we had no chance to reach our gear. But whatever, that's not enough to stop us.
The rogue makes a dive for a butter knife that was on a food plate and reached it just in time, then started hacking away at a nearby guard and actually did decent damage.

Being as strong as I was, I decided that I don't need no weapon, so I decided to simply swing around the cell door and use that as a weapon. It was big, heavy and reinforced with metal, so I argued that it should do quite some damage. The DM conceded and I took down 2 guards.
No clue what the bard did, I forgot that part.
Though after beating 3 guards we saw an opening and made a dash for the room door, then ran down a short corridor to grab our gear. 
Once we got our weapons we quickly killed the last remaining guards and left.


At a later time we finally got hold of some information, it turned out the Drow were planning a large scale attack on a certain town and we tried to warn the populace cause even if they were dicks, Drows were bigger dicks.
While we went on our way through a forest (bright and peaceful) we noticed a presence following us but no one was able to really detect anything, so we just kept walking.
We eventually met a guy living in a cottage in the forest splitting some wood. And somehow in a wooden cage above the ground ws dangling a single drow. I forgot how we found out, but it was the guy who had been following us.

Right from the start the DM tried to make him unlikable and was nudging towards attacking him. I didn't like it cause we were really trying to save people here so nevermind if that guy is kinda weird. But then the hillbilly (he turned more unlikable by the minute) called us freaks of nature and I decided to let the DM have his way and my character would never let something like this slide.
So I attacked the guy cause you don't insult an 8 foot 4 armed dude and live to tell the tale.

At first we were unsure what to do with the drow but he straight away thanked us and told us we would be invited to his camp. He also gave me a couple of powerful magic arrows. 
Afterwards we followed him to his camp and casually overheard some details about the attack plans.

We made an excuse and left, then went straight to the town to warn the people and - I don't have the faintest idea what happened next.

Fast forward a couple of sessions and the campaign is in full swing, big plots and big enemies. Somehow we ended up fighting a young Black Dragon. It involved climbing its back and riding it while it was flying and breathing acid at us and generally tried to kill us.
Somehow we managed to pull through with a lot of effort and the bard managed to get the last hit in. And promptly got a lot of acid in his face and permanently lost 2 charisma.
We complained cause it seemed unfair but the DM had a point so eventually we conceded.

So just after we float down to the ground and take a short breather, a Red Dragon Wyrm was flying towards us. Never mind the for us epic battle against a young black, this was pure red death hurtling towards us with massive speed.

My character was a fighter but I always prefer to be prepared, so even though I usually used 2 Two handed swords, I was also skilled with a bow. And then I remembered the magic arrows. Their enchantment was nothing worth using in battle, no decent modifiers.
But it was powerful, powerful enough to harm a Red Dragon Wyrm.
The rogue and bard had no real ranged attacks, so they were pretty much just bystanders.

So I decided to shoot the Red Dragon. Shoot the fucker right in the eye. The DM argues that is one hell of a shot so I would need a critical to get it. And then I rolled and there it was, a 19.
Blinded on one eye.
Now that was a good shot and good damage, but overall it actually changed nothing cause even a one eyed Wyrm would fuck up our world really bad.
Ok what to do, well, I do have more arrows...
I say I notch and shoot again and the DM, already clearly upset at this point, tells me I need a critical again. And there it was, another 19.
By now the dragon was getting really close so after losing both its eyes it crashed to the ground.

With the arrows useless at this range I pull out my main weapon and attack properly this time.
The DM had rewarded me with a Vorpal sword +5 (a huge deal in AD&D) some time back and now I tried my luck. A natural 20.
Within 1 minute of the fight I took out both the Red Dragon Wyrm's eyes and then sliced its head right off.

My work is done here.

The DM raged pretty hard and ended the session for the day.
Afterwards he never played Dungeons & Dragons with us again.

Too bad my character didn't have eyeglasses. But then again, CSI Miami would not be released for another 3 years or so.