Editing Hunter: The Parenting

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{{Topquote|It's all the same,<br>Only the names have changed|Bon Jovi}}
[[Image:Theparenting1.jpeg|thumb|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-r-V0uK4u0|‘’ “The world is a Vampire...” ]]]
'''Hunter: The Parenting''' is an animated series in the (original) [[World of Darkness]] setting, following the exploits of a family of hunters during and after the exploration of mysterious tunnels around Binham and Norfolk. Created by Bruva Alfabusa and his team (now rechristened as ''Ogre Popennang Productions'') after the unfortunate hiatus of [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device | an earlier series]] due to [[Games Workshop|Geedubs]]' bullshit, it reunites the original voice actors and features a cast that, as of writing, appear to be near-exact reincarnations of earlier characters. WOD was probably chosen for this since [[Paradox Interactive|Paradox]] owns it nowadays and they've supported Bruva and co. before.

The series takes place during the mid-late 2000s (2006, to be exact), with there being a reference to [[Team Fortress 2]] coming out soon in the first arc before the actual year was revealed in an audio-only story.

==Characters==
===The Group===
[[File:Big_D.png|128px|left|thumb|As fabulous as he should be!]]
* '''[[Emperor of Mankind|Big-D]]:''' The group’s leader and a father of dubious competence, offering vital information only after it is needed. Claims that he and his family once killed a [[Methuselah]], and he fully believes that he can 1v1 [[Caine]] himself. Despite this, he's been knocked out twice by much weaker vampires, so take that with a grain of salt. Consistently high on a variety of mind-altering drugs as a defense against getting bitten (or so he’d like you to believe - most likely to protect himself from a mental breakdown from what he's been through).  His ability to express emotions with his face and the tone of his voice makes him appear truly unhinged, especially when he goes on non-sequitur rants, like his obsession with the plight of orangutans. He also seems to be a complete scatterbrain - something suspicious and supernatural at the 99p store is deemed a "distraction" to proving Kevin wrong about being able to buy a blender for 99p. Despite all this, he can still be quite charismatic and persuasive, and has moments of lucidity and a tight bond with his family. Big D has many children besides Marckus and Door; his favorite child is a horse named [[Horus|Horse]]. Big-D is extremely knowledgeable on the supernatural in general, and the Masquerade in particular, but is smart enough to know that divulging too much information too carelessly could result in the family getting a blood hunt on their heads; yet at the same time, his secrecy resulted in [[Horus Heresy|Marckus allowing the vampires to diablerize each other and break out of containment.]] Likewise, Big-D has worked alongside many supernatural organizations throughout the years, including the Arcanum, but has a tendency to "go rogue;" as such, the Arcanum has banned him and his family and destroyed his research, which was likely full of the same insane vague nonsense he tells his children to conceal the real info - including codeword terminology like "Sludge Lad."

:There are many theories as to who or what he really is. Life-fluent Mage, independent Ghoul, [[Changeling: The Dreaming|Changeling]], [[Demon: The Fallen|capital-D Demon]], perhaps even a [[Exalted| Solar Exalted]] or just a[[Progenitors| mad biologist from the technocracy]] that has experimented on [[Perpetual|himself]], his [[custodes|coworkers]], and his [[primarch|children]] in order to build an [[Void_Engineers|army]] of [[Space_Marine|supersoldiers]] in a rush to prep for [[Age_of_Strife|the end of the world]]. - all are possible given what the series has shown, but none are truly confirmed. What is for certain is that he's off his rocker, fond of archaic terminology & measurements (Why would you measure in [https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mina_(unit) Mina]!?), well-versed in things he cannot explain, and is more than what he lets on. Just don’t give him unsolicited advice. He hates it a lot. (VA: SpeakerD)
{{Clear}}

[[File:Markus_HTP.png|128px|left|thumb|The big nerd with a love for books, with flowing red hair no less!]]
* '''[[Magnus the Red|Marckus]]:''' The nerd of the group who uses a stake jacket as his weapon -- or anything that isn't a gun. His daddy issues, penchant for experimenting with stuff he shouldn't, propensity to cause trouble, and overall red color scheme should seem familiar. When he’s not using his stake-jacket, is typically armed with a blowtorch. Marckus' interests include torturing Dr. Kleiner in GMod, and has an obsession with wargaming figurines. May have Mage potential, as a child of Big D, with evidence pointing towards Marckus unconsciously cursing Brok Blacklaw with extreme bad luck. Marckus may be the nerd of the group but he still tends to rush into situations without thinking them through, such as letting vampires diablerize each other, jumping out of a second story window, or ''very loudly'' ranting about vampires in the pub to his friends.

:Something's Wrong with Horse shows that he has a strong dislike of how Big-D hides things from the family, to say nothing about the "do it yourself" attitude of learning, something he has a heart to heart with Door about. There's also the thriftiness to a fault to consider, especially since Big-D indulges in what he wants, while the rest of the family has its struggles (Marckus himself is forced to use the taped together remains of the family's stilt's as a shoddy excuse for crutches). (VA: Zegram)
{{Clear}}

[[File:Door.png|128px|left|thumb|Built like a door and with the creativity of one.]]
* '''[[Rogal Dorn|Door]]:'''   The strong, literal-minded man of the group who is obsessed with woodwork and uses a double-barreled shotgun as his preferred weapon. Needless to say, don’t mess with his son. Don't let his overall square appearance and personality, obsession with building, and facial hair fool you; this series portrays a more openly sadistic/overzealous man, as shown by his lack of reaction at forcing the vampires to drink each other, and his contempt towards Marckus and Kitten for feeling squeamish about it. Something's Wrong With Horse suggests he may have a personal reason to hate the vampire; alongside citing Big-D's insight as reason to make him "truly afraid."

:Door is extremely practical and well prepared to fight vampires, claiming that his experience as a 'miner' came in handy. Given the US Army EOD suit he wears in Ep. 3, it's unlikely he was referring to resource extraction. Door claims to hail from America, along with his son; as a result, he is extremely patriotic and unable to understand the 'British' language (an aversion shared by his father, but for more practical reasons). Unfortunately, his patriotism also gave way to a bit of arrogance, as his usage of American measurements allowed Pyotr to escape after double diablerizing his packmates. He also seems to believe Rammstein wrote the US National Anthem.  (VA: SuperAnchors)
{{Clear}}

[[File:Kitten.png|128px|left|thumb|Still refusing to show his face to anyone.]]
* '''[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Kitten]]:''' Wielding what is essentially [[Power Weapon#Guardian Spear|a pole with a flintlock pistol and a stake attached to the end of it]], Kitten is the group’s ‘expert’ on the supernatural. Though Big D appears to know more about the workings of this world, Kitten is more knowledgeable about local legends and tales. Critically, he is willing to share what knowledge he has with others, including Big D himself, in a timely and concise manner. In doing so, he fills a time-honored role. Despite being cautious and somewhat reasonable, he is in a relationship with Marckus. Kitten is also something of a positive role model for Boy, a rarity in the family. Kitten is usually seen wearing an 'eared' hoodie and ski goggles, which, combined with some actual catlike traits, such as climbing out of a pitfall trap with ease and hissing like a cat, suggests that he's perhaps an unwitting Bastet kinfolk. 

:Apparently, his experiences with the supernatural or vampires predate his experiences with the family; as he encountered an individual disemboweling and consuming a fellow college student. He's also known to have three brothers and a sister; the brothers, at least, check out. (VA: ThunderPsyker)
{{Clear}}

[[File:Boy.png|128px|left|thumb|Young and full of surprises]]
* '''[[Cute|Boy]]:''' Door’s son and the youngest of the group. Only here because Big-D wants to make a man out of him. Extremely afraid of the unknown, which is understandable considering the nature of the unknowns presented to him. Seems ripped from somewhere else. Boy is on an all-meat diet (with butter, coffee and eggmilk mixed in) and as a result has become "extremely powerful" and cured of "puberty disease" (suggesting that boy might be supernatural himself - garou perhaps?). Also a surprisingly skilled marksman. May or may not have mystical and prophetic capabilities if his encounter with "Uncle" Horse is any indication. (VA: Nostalgia)
{{Clear}}

===The (Dubious) Allies===
* '''The Great And Mighty Kevin:''' Real name Kevin Wettsworth, a 9th generation <s>Tremere</s> Vampire Wizard. Kevin was formerly an accountant in his mortal life (apparently his job was so shitty that he looks ancient despite being only 27 years old) before he was embraced and enslaved to the Regent of the Camarilla in Norfolk. Kevin was renamed to Herbertus and became the Regent's accountant -- until he started complaining about a lack of fair pay, pointing out that simply mind-slaving human underlings into giving up their money doesn't work when the tax-men start investigating. He was promptly abandoned by both his sire and the Regent. Kevin successfully escaped with the help of the Sabbat, though he maintains strong ties with his mortal life, including owning an apartment and cat named Mr. Smerples that he sneaks out to keep tabs on. Big-D realized that Kevin didn’t enjoy life with the Sabbat either, and offered to let him go in exchange for dirt on the Regent. Moreover, the fact that Kevin’s middle name is Malcom, is a wizard, and is a former foe seems to be an indicator that he will be the equivalent of [[Malcador the Sigillite|a certain someone]]. He hates any kind of slavery and views bloodbonds as such, so much so that he needed to be threatened by Chapman with forcing his own murder on him before he relented and re-ghouled the detective. (VA: Earndil). 

*'''Detective Sergeant Guy Chapman''': A policeman who was in charge of interrogating Big D after the events of episode 3. It is eventually revealed that he is a ghoul to Kevin's old master, and one who hasn't had a good drink in quite some time. He allies with Big D and Kevin, on the condition that he is ghouled to Kevin. When Marckus got into trouble when he went out with his friends pubbing, Guy intervened and revealed himself to Marckus. He didn't tell him much, but he did tell him that he was now working for Big-D. (VA: StellarElite)

===Marckus' Friend Group===
*'''[[Shadowsun|Grimal]]:''' An absolute [[Anime|weeb]] who jumps people and has a yaoi paddle. Kitten's ex. She also has a tendency for biting, and despite Marckus's current relationship with Kitten, she's still quite friendly with him. She's also a member of the Arcanum, like Harry and Elise, where she researches the [[Kindred of the East|Kuei-Jin]], despite Markus assuring her that her "special Asian vampires" are nothing more that [[LARP|larpers]]. (VA: Odoroshi)
*'''Harry:''' Marckus's gym buddy and a supportive friend who may or may not be an expy of [[Ahzek Ahriman|Ahriman]]. Despite being stated to be pretty strong, he's not really much of a fighter. He's a little slow on the uptake and not as much of a nerd as Marckus, Elise or Grimal, but he is at least a stabilizing figure. (VA: Longfang)
*'''Elise:''' [[Meme|A thicc goth girl who is not stated to be a girlfriend.]] Well, her thickness puts her on the chubby side, and may or may not have some magical capabilities, given she's introduced as shadowy and with glowy eyes. Morbid and somewhat shares in Grimal's lewd sense of humor. Softspoken to an extent, but is enough to make Marckus claim (perhaps in jest) that he fears for his life whenever he talks to her. (VA: Stephanie Swan Quills)

===The Arcanum===
*'''Remold Blacklaw''': One of the "old guard" members of the Arcanum, and an absolutely petty Belgian bastard. After Big D (whom he seems to think is actually a Demon) and his family got banned from the Arcanum, he had all of their research and findings burned away and forbade people from acknowledging the family. This doesn't stop Marckus' friends, of course.

===The Villains===
* '''Pyotr:''' Real name Peter Piotrowski, a <s>12th</s> 10th generation <s>Nosferatu</s> Sludge Lad. Formerly an underwater (and disgustingly handsome) welder before his superior embraced him during a Sabbat underwater mission. Card-carrying Sabbat and main antagonist of Arc 1 after diablerizing both Apeboy and Shitbeard. Talks a big game and knows how to terrify his opponents, but is ultimately a coward, opportunist, and manipulator who lets others do the dirty work. Easily smarter and more manipulative than the other vampires - though not above being outsmarted by well-trained hunters. Is animated to be utterly horrifying, as befits a Sludge Lad. Killed by sunlight after being lured into a minefield. (VA: DrWhite)
* '''Apeboy:''' Real name Dave McGlow, an 11th generation <s>Gangrel</s> Humanimal Type Vampire. All we get for his backstory is that he was a shovelhead. The "LARPer" of the four; wears a fedora and neckbeard, and constantly talks like your typical high school fedora-wearing [[edgelord]]. (VA: Glowtide)
* '''Shitbeard:''' Real name Richard Porter, a 10th generation <s>Brujah</s> Bikerbro Blank, and a member of Hell's Fuckers. Angstiest of the quartet, expressing he misses human pleasures such as cream crackers. Has enough of an education to discuss Kant with Apeboy and his ghost mentions going to college during the Patreon plug at the end of Episode 2. He was embraced during a "Bikers for Blood" donation drive that resulted in mass disappearances. (VA: Earndil)
* '''Regent of Great Yarmouth''': Mentioned offscreen, but is likely to become important given Kevin's backstory and the info he gave during interrogation. Grandsire of Kevin, and according to him is your typical, out-of-touch yet terrifyingly powerful Vampire prince. Big-D seems to already know her quite well. She may be the dark figure that appears in the end credits; maybe even the hooded figure seen at the end of Episode 1. According to Kevin's account, she's obsessed with Boudica and the Iron Age Iceni (an obsession which involves going on extensive tangents on how the former didn't shave her privates for some reason). The Regent’s eccentricity and obliviousness may be working in Big-D’s favor, as she fails to recognize Big-D from his description or the fact that he’s using Kevin’s old alias. (VA: Boneweary)
* '''Prince of Norfolk''': The Big Bad Evil guy, we know even less about her than the regent.
*'''Brok Blacklaw''': Norfolk's resident bully, who likes picking on Marckus in particular and looks like an overweight Geese Howard. Speaks and acts like a [[Ork|stereotypical meatheaded football hooligan]]. He'd been bullying Marckus since they were kids, and he hasn't changed a bit. He's got an iron liver, a mean attitude, and several knives on him, and he gets away with a lot since his dad is the head of the Arcanum. So far, he's gotten himself into some major trouble after picking on Marckus one night, first getting pranked into making a heinous call to his father, then catching salmonella, having a couple of his switchblades exploding in his hand, and finally getting chased away by Guy Chapman himself. (VA: Haven Kendrick)
**'''"Git" Giles and Spit''': Brok's toadies and stereotypical chavs. They don't do much beyond backing up Brok in their first appearance, though Git did somehow manage to drink Harry's beer before spitting it back out and drinking it again. Git gets a little more attention in the next audiolog, as he is revealed to also be a recently employed stocker at the local 99p store. He has issues with people treating him as lesser and not respecting him, and manages to have a heart-to-heart with Big-D (though Big-D was mainly just trying to convince Git to sell him a blender for 99p to prove Kevin wrong). Git is at least vaguely aware that there's something wrong with the backroom of the store he works at.(VAs: HulkyKrow as Git, Glowtide as Spit)
* '''Polydora''': The manager at the 99p store. She puts on a persona of a chipper and people-pleasing woman, but can be heard insulting people under her breath. Is a ghoul (or possibly even a childe) of Lady Regent of Great Yarmouth, who treats her in a quite motherly way. (VA: Saskia Douglas)

===Other Characters===
* '''Mysterious hooded figure''': Stalker-ish figure with a violin. Tied to the backstory of the campaign, involving a local monastery and the catacombs deep beneath connecting several rural towns since the Middle Ages. Either she’s the fiddler who ventured deep into the catacombs and never returned (and probably turned into a vampire), or the person who took him out and stole his fiddle. Is probably neither a celestial shaman nor an interstellar pirate. She's credited as "the Monk" and Horse, whether through delirium or actual prophesizing, makes note of an "Abbot" with feminine pronouns.  (VA: BoneWeary)
*'''Kräkus''': Kitten's neighbor and local ditch-digger. A character with a similar name has appeared before. He has a habit of shouting wildly from his ditches and happening upon the corpses that may or may not have been left by the gang. Can be heard wailing periodically from his ditch.
* '''[[Horus Lupercal|Horse]]''': A literal horse and Big-D's favorite "son." Of all his sons, Big-D trusts Horse the most as he has not "betrayed" him (and by betrayal we mean not figuring out Big-D's overly cryptic warnings such as 1 vampire + 1 vampire = double-vampire). His actual origin is quite ambiguous, especially since Big-D's own accounts are inconsistent and completely insane. Big-D spoils him with expensive (and stolen) medicine, food, and absinthe. Horse is afflicted with a strange infection that causes him to vomit blood, which is very peculiar considering horses can't actually vomit. He can actually talk, but only to Boy, and gives creepy and cryptic messages (unless of course its all in Boy's head, <s>having taken absinthe just moments prior</s> absinthe does not actually cause hallucinations, though it is still entirely possible that it is in boys head (though he used a lot of terms that Boy wouldn't know; plus the images in the blood that is normally impossible for horses to vomit.)) Terrifying origins or delirious hallucinations aside, everyone does seem to accept Horse as a member of the family, and assuming he is supernatural, he seems to view them in the same way. (VA: Ki McKenzie)

*'''DJ Wormwood''': A "family friendly" (possibly cult) radio host based in Florida that has long relied on donations and listeners. Unfortunately, due to the recessions in the mid to late 2000's, he's had to be sponsored by some Swedish man advertising a hobby shop in Sweden. He unfortunately doesn't get paid and is reduced to a sobbing wreck by the end of the ad. Wormwood is also an allegory for Afla now taking sponsorships on Audiodramas, given the real life recession going on in the 2020's. Has presumably been killed by gas by Herknes after the most recent ad read. (VA: SpeakerD)
*'''Herknes Dragonblade''': A greasy Swede and host of The Tabletop Boys, a low-budget 40k gaming channel. Several years prior to his channel debut, Herknes took DJ Wormwood hostage to support a local Swedish gaming shop. Herknes can be thought of as Alfa's take on the stereotypical self-serious [[neckbeard]], who persistently claims that 40K is a SERIOUS ADULT game for SERIOUS ADULTS ONLY. (VA:Alfabusa)
*'''The Blue Man''': A being inhabiting the 99 Pound store, which is at the bottom of a pit in the 99p store. Looks like an old man with blue skin (hence the name) in Hunter S. Thompson glasses and speaks through the store's intercom system. Given his statements and the fact that when pressed for answers he managed to terrify Big-D himself, this is either an aspect of the [[Werewolf: The Apocalypse|Wyrm]] or the personification of [[Wraith: The Oblivion|Oblivion]], especially since the Blue Man transforms into a horrifying figure that Big-D recognizes as someone he killed.

*'''Karl the Deranged''': Yes, literally Karl. Or we think it's Karl, his appearance is uncredited. He serves as some kind of divine form of punishment for Pyotr in Hell. Might be literally Satan himself. Seems to enjoy telling stories about two boys escaping their deranged grandmother. Last seen standing barefoot in a forest while jamming out a truly bumping beat on his Algerian mandole while wearing a rather frightening mask, then talking about that grandma story as if he's making a documentary about it.

==Legends==
Hunter: The Parenting features a number of spooky legends authentic to the Norfolk area, as told by Kitten. Some may be just stories, but at least a few have a direct bearing on the campaign.
* '''The Priory of Binham''': An old medieval priory in Binham that was constructed by corrupt monks, who supposedly got up to all kinds of tomfoolery and alchemical experiments. Locals claim to see a mysterious hooded monk inside at night. The priory is also connected to several tunnels that stretch across North Norfolk that extend for miles. A fiddler attempted to explore the tunnels but was never seen again. In the present, these tunnels were inhabited by Vampires preying on joggers at night. The group encountered by the Hunters was a bunch of Sabbat fledglings that took over the territory from Anarchs, so its unlikely that the Vamps they captured know the full extent of the tunnels' mysteries.
* '''The Floating Torso of Happisburgh''': A ghostly apparition of a headless torso that appeared near a well. The ghost disappeared when a pump was installed on the well, and then reappeared when it was destroyed. Big-D's assessment: the well was likely the Ghost's fetter, and the clean water brought it some measure of peace.
* '''The Witch of East Somerston''': A peg-legged witch was buried alive beneath the church. As she was buried, her peg leg emerged from the ground, grew into a tree, and destroyed the church. Big-D's assessment: Probably a fake story, but an accurate description of death-hexes.
* '''Black Shuck of East Anglia''': Black Shuck is a black-furred, red-eyed dog that has been seen since at least the 1500s. He attacked and destroyed two churches in one night, causing mass panic. Modern sightings of Black Shuck are significantly more mundane. Big-D's assessment: Black Shuck is actually "dog propaganda" to hide "dog crimes" - meaning a werewolf (or werewolves), and the modern sightings are possibly a result of the Delirium, with locals connecting werewolf sightings to the Black Shuck legend as a coping mechanism.
* '''Pirate's Cove Minigolf''': mentioned offhand having disgusting blue water. Big-D believes the water to be the result of supernatural creatures. Probably not, but considering the series, it might be true.

==A Guide to the World of Darkness by SpeakerD==
This isn't really a part of the story, but one of the lead writers for ''Hunter: the Parenting'' released a short intro to WoD through a ~50 minute video. It's not lore intensive, but it is pretty good for getting a feel of the setting.

[https://youtu.be/0h1U-_JFAS8 You can find it here.]

[[Category:World of Darkness]]
[[Category:Approved Media]]