Editing Badasious (section)

== Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: ==


*He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)

*There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)

*Badasious once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a Leman Russ Battle Tank and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a [[Baneblade]] and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million Leman Russes. This ability has caused the AdMech to lose a lot of bussiness.

*Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. [[Eldar]] women, too. In fact he has so many Half-Eldar kids that every few minutes he's psychically contacted by large numbers of Eldar females who tell him to take care of his kids only for Badasious to make them pregnant all over again. 

*Trivia:90% of all Eldar babies born by the 42nd Millennium are related to Badasious. (HERESY!)

*Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Rage]].

*Badasious once had a sidekick. His name was [[God-Emperor of Mankind]].(EXTRA HERESY!)

*Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)

*[[Kharn]] wants to be Badasious when he grows up.

*Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.

*Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes (METAL GEAR AWESOME HERESEY!!! TRANC DARTS FOR EVERYONE!!!)

*Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.

*Inquisitor Badasious once punched a daemon so hard, it created the Eye of Terror. (Named after him of course)

*Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.

*Creed learned everything he knows about strategy from watching Badasious play chess once.

*Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi (definite heresey, slaanesh is an equal opportunity genital devouer).

*Inquisitor Badasious once ate a smurf village. When he crapped them out, they were eight feet tall and clad in power armor. They are known now as Ultramarines.

*Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with [[Abaddon]]. Abaddon had his arms before that.

*Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.

*[[Matt Ward]] wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.

*Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.

*Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.

*Sly Marbo sometimes wishes he was Badasious, but then he remembers that he’s sly marbo and therefore superior, badasious thinks the same but opposite thing.

*Badasious used to go to Yarricks, creeds, sly marbos (and now fuklaws) weekly poker night, but was banned after always playing royal flushes, even when he only had one card in hand.

*Badasious can get guys pregnant by just glaring at them.

*Badasious never executes fleeing guardsmen, the guardsmans comrades simply beat the him to death out of fear of what Badasious might do if he has the kill the retreating guardsman himself.

*Badasious once thought about becoming a commissar, the imperial guard rejected his application on the grounds that badasious simply applying for the job resulted in hundreds of guardsmen preemptively committing suicide out of sheer terror.

*As badasious doesn’t need the astranomicon to navigate he simply uses its light to tune his tv.

*If badasious ever turned to chaos chaos would automatically lose as badasious executed all the heretic guardsmen and space marines out of simple muscle memory.

*Slaanesh is too scared to sleep with badasious, which just makes him/her/it/they want to do it just to see what would happened.
**Last time it happened it created the Big Bang, although both sly Marbo and badasious claim to have done this so we can only assume that it was actually a team effort.

*Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, unless your badasious in which case time and lunch is a steak sandwich with a side order and chips with spicy sauce.

*Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million wolf-pieces. (HERESY!)