Editing Bag of Holding (section)

== Shitcannon of Holding ==
Let's say you have a bag of holding, 1,500 pounds weight limit.  In feudal lands you can easily acquire 1,500 pounds of [[C.S. Goto|cattle manure]] to fill the bag completely.

Falling objects in D&D do 1d6 damage per 200lbs per 10 feet they fall. A falling object will accelerate to ~15 meters per second after 40 feet
of falling.  Remember this for later. 

A human's normal movement rate in Dungeons & Dragons is 30 feet per round (6 seconds). If the human took the 'Running' feat, they can sprint to 5x their normal movement speed, or 150 feet in one round.  With a Haste spell in effect, that is doubled to 300 feet in one round.  300ft / 6seconds =~ 15.24 metres per second.

So. One guy holds open the bag of holding in outstretched arms, pointing the mouth at some evil wizard.  Other guy gets Hasted, runs at full tilt at the back of the bag.  This will easily invert the bag, violently ejecting its contents at the imparted speed.  The target the bag was aimed at will get 1,500 pounds of shit at a nice 15 meters per second, for (7.5 rounded up) 8d6 damage, x4 for the extra speed.  That's a total of 32d6 of filth applied directly to the forehead, more than the evil wizard's 20d6 max fireball.  Average 62hp of damage, max of 192hp.  No there is no metamagic feats for maximizing shit damage.

'''No Fun Allowed Section''': ''But the running guy has like 1/7th of the mass of the ejected shit, so it should be traveling at 1/7th the speed even with a perfectly elastic impact.''  
:The bag of holding negates mass for the items inside the bag, and the runner is hitting the back of the bag; laws of inertia are already being ignored before you even open the bag.  If you're that upset about it, drop the shit on the wizard from a great height.  Fifteen hundred pounds of horseshit is like 375 gallons or 1.7 kilolitres of volume, easily enough to bury someone.

The weight ratio is not the real problem with this use.  First, there is the problem of the fragility of the bag itself.  Per the rules for this item, if the bag is overloaded or if sharp objects pierce it (from inside or outside), the bag ruptures and is ruined.  Per the example above, the running man who is moving at a nice 15 meters per second, does 8d6 damage on impact.  Even minimum damage, that is 8 points.  Cloth has a hardness of 0 and 2 HP per inch of thickness.  That baby is going to tear like tissue and all you'll be left with are some scraps.  Second, even if you opened the bag at the listed speed, you would still not get projectile excrement at the same speed.  Again, per the rules for this item, if a bag of holding is turned inside out, its contents spill out, unharmed.  As was stated earlier, this is magic and the laws of inertia are being ignored.  It does not say that its contents spill out at the same speed that it was opened, just that the contents spill out.  What is in the bag is motionless and when ejected, is still motionless.  It does not gain any inertia from the outside.  So, even if you could find a way to protect the bag from destruction, all that would happen is that you would hit the bag and *POOF* run smack into 1500 pounds of bovine bio-waste.  Take 8d6 of damage and onlookers will have to make a will save or collapse in laughter at the sight.  This is not to say that hurling tons of manure is impossible by the rules, just not with the bag of holding (at least used like this.)  You may want to direct your attention to the Shrink Item spell.  (Can you say 20 square feet of FLAMING cow shit?)