Editing Nazi (section)

==Overview==
[[File:German_Bratwurst.gif|right|thumb|Historically Accurate (if you consider checzia polish)]]
The Nazis' initial success can be attributed to the image of glorious economic recovery, part of which they accomplished by keeping Germany's economy running during the Great Depression. They presented this to the rest of the world, making many people believe the little mustachioed guy couldn't be that crazy since he'd made his country recover brilliantly in very little time. And while Germany did indeed recover, the whole thing was helped and held upright by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mefo_bills MEFO bills]: basically a Ponzi scheme that allowed the government to loan money on the sly through a front company about metallurgy research (the ''Metallurgische Forschungsgesellschaft'', or MEFO in short). This allowed them to work at a much higher level of debt flotation than allowed by international regulation, and the idea was to pay back the loans with seized gold and valuables from Jews at first, and then directly from conquered nations after the war, since even [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government_bond state created debt bonds] are exactly that: debt, credit, which is trust. Eventually the creditor will want something in exchange (or at the very least get his investment back) or the debtor's credibility will be shattered, stopping the money flow.

To give you a clearer idea of what happened: You are defeated and poor, but are fuming for revenge. To keep you down, your victorious neighbors don't lend you a dime to produce guns and make sure your already meager income is only spent on debt and basic necessities. So what do you do? You decide to spend money in the form of credit, raise the debt higher and higher (making the rest of the world believe you are rich), and keep the charade until the debt becomes irrelevant (who needs to pay the creditor he will declare war on?). So you make up a credit card called Mefocard ("MEtallurgische FOrschungsgesellschaft" - Metallurgy R&D sounds civilian and peaceful, so the world markets play along), borrow even more wildly to look opulent, and to create weapons on the sly promise that you'll pay the debt back... Then attempt to kill the lenders and subjugate their families to share the debt you have. It was simply a continent wide, all-or-nothing robbery attempt even wilder than WW1's trench-fighting Imperial duel.

The Ponzi schemes weren't limited to national/corporate level shenanigans, but extended to the German people as well. The famous Beetle was developed to be a cheap family car (hence “volkswagen”, or “people’s car”), and a part of selling the German public on the idea of an idyllic, cheap-and-cheerful family life, along with things like state-sponsored vacation villages. An elaborate layaway scheme allowed average German families to give the government a few Reichsmark a day in exchange for the promise of a new Beetle and a seaside vacation package. However, all that money actually went into rebuilding the German military, and war began before any of the promises had to be delivered on. Because the [[Tzeentch|illusion of a better future and hope is always easier]] than just taxing the population directly. And, lastly, the Holocaust itself was also an important pillar of the German economy, especially when the war started in earnest. Jewish (and other undesirables', particularly Slavic intelligentsia) property and land was being confiscated on a scale never before seen or even conceived of. Not even their dead bodies were safe: glasses were taken apart and reused for scopes or similar, hair was used as fabrics for the textile industry, and gold teeth were taken and melted down by the millions. Massive amounts of gold, hard currency and other valuable things like works of art were stolen from Jewish museums, synagogues, households and bank accounts (hence keeping up the Mefo bill's token payments to creditors). They even had to pay for their own transit into the death camps, which would almost be hilarious if it wasn't so unbelievably evil. This ruthless, industrialized way of executing a massive genocide made the Holocaust the standard many people associate the word "genocide" with today - ironically, the Holocaust was in its methods the exception. No other genocide in history built an entire branch of government and industry centered around the mass murder of human beings, not to mention devoting vital manpower and military resources bullets to the project that the overstretched front lines of Germany desperately needed; in essence, [[Fail|the Nazis sabotaged their own war machine, just to kill Jews.]]

They were also fantastic proponents of lies and propaganda, ranging from bogus race theory (fake archaeology was a particular favorite), to manufactured pretexts for war (the trigger for invading Poland was an obvious false-flag operation- something Japan had used 2 years previously), to simply overstating their successes. For example, the old line that goes "say what you want about them, but the Nazis/Hitler did make the trains run on time"? They didn't. Train service was as bad or worse under fascist leadership as it had been immediately before their rise to power. But they realized that they only had to ''say'' the trains were running on time, and strongarm anyone inside Germany who dared to publicly disagree. Doubly funny is that it was ''Mussolini'''s Italy that had trains running on time, and even then, it was because of pre-fascism era personnel improving it. In fact, the entire political/industrial structure of Nazi Germany was a nightmarish tangle of private businesses, government organizations, bureaucrats, and ambitious officials with overlapping portfolios and responsibilities. Hitler frequently gave out contradictory orders and deliberately pitted his subordinates against each other as part of his social Darwinist beliefs; the strongest and best would naturally rise to the top through competition while the others were weeded out, thus improving the whole. In practice, this system was dysfunctional, inefficient, unresponsive, wasteful, and full of more backstabbing bastardry than an average game of [[Diplomacy]]. People became too scared to make decisions without Hitler around, companies and factories wasted precious time and materials on design contracts that were ultimately awarded to other firms, there was an ongoing multi-way fight between the army, Kriegsmarine, Luftwaffe, and Waffen-SS for resources, manpower, and money throughout the war, and people like Himmler and Goering carved out their own private spheres of influence in the middle of it all, further splintering the government.

Needless to say, this situation was the reason why the scenario of not waging war (like in Hearts of Iron or some alternate reality stories) simply wasn't a realistic option. Despite their multiple annexations of territory, the Nazis couldn't sustain their charade without the influx of riches, heavy machinery (they stripped Poland, Czechoslovakia, and other conquered territories to the bone, grabbing civilian factories' machinery, bolts, nuts and even the metallic building materials like [[Blood Ravens]] on meth, literally, Nazis loved their amphetamines) and material from other conquered territories to pay the MEFO bills. So they soon mobilized their armies and launched a war of expansion on the rest of the world, starting with Poland. (The question is still open among historians as whether they annexed and plundered enough reserves with Czechoslovakia to keep the charade up "peacefully" long enough to let their Red "ally" make the opening move instead, but that's a discussion for another place and time.)

Their goal (next to getting gold and industrial materials to pay the enormous gambling debt of an empire) was to impose their militaristic Social Darwinist ideology across Europe, outlaw any dissenting school of thought, enslave all the "sub-human" Slavs (after starving to death more than half of them to make room for German settlers in accordance to Generalplan Ost and assimilating anyone believed to be sufficiently Germanic), and exterminate any "undesirables" (Jews, Roma, homosexuals, etc) on which they blamed all their problems because they felt that they were superhumans without any flaws. Any problem which they suffered had to be the fault of some subversive "other" from outside who tried to cause the Master Race misery according to the Nazi philosophy of believing all ethnicities are a hivemind loyal to themselves and they all collectively fight over resources, therefore "weaker" races resort to social corruption (LGBT, porn, discouraging women from reproducing) of the glorious German master race to get ahead of them. But due to some severe strategic fuck ups from Hitler <s>who often overruled his military leadership</s> and his generals (the situation is more nuanced than that and would be too long and boring to explain fully; basically there was mutual mistrust and both sides routinely fucked up, but after the war the generals used Hitler as a scapegoat because the history is written by the living), Germany ended up in a three-way war with the Soviet Union (who provided blood), Great Britain (military intelligence, enough naval force projection to strangle all Axis naval trade and pure fucking grit) & the United States (more armaments than you can possibly dream of with an extra helping on top), while their allies such as Romania (the dudes with the European oil fields), Hungary (some light tanks and cavalry) & Italy (...more of a liability than bonus, so...) surrendered during the middle years of the war, Finland was doing their own thing the entire time and barely gave a shit about the Nazis beyond asking for supplies, and resource-starved Japan could do little more than be a distraction. 

While Germany may have had some areas of technological/industrial advantage (at least initially, and this is often overstated), by the end of the war they were crippled by a lack of many strategic resources and widespread destruction of production lines and reverted to some crude and/or untested/outlandish solutions like using coal liquefaction as an oil substitute, potato alcohol for V-2 rockets and meth-filled chocolate bars for Eastern Front troopers (when they decided to use the logistic volume for ammo rather than thick clothes which they '''had''' but decided to workaround with untested drugs-typical Hitlerite solution-). Their situation was made worse by their late-war obsession with Wunderwaffen ("wonder weapons"), such as "flying wing" aircraft, the world's first ballistic missiles, multi-charge megacannons and retardedly big tanks, all of which wasted time, materials, and engineering effort that could have instead been used to churn out more regular tanks, artillery pieces, and aircraft, along with a chronic shortage of oil other than a trickle from Romania, which meant that the panzer divisions were routinely grinding to a halt for lack of fuel by the end. Because of all this, there was no hope of repulsing both the Western Allies and the Soviet Union at the same time; thus the Nazi regime finally met its end when the Russians marched into Berlin and Hitler {{*BLAM*}}med himself along with his mad-as-a-hatter common-law wife and their dog. While their hate-wagon managed to go far and temporarily overrun most of Europe, it simply had too much war to fight on multiple fronts, a lack of effective strategic planning in the form of Hitler and his cronies, and the fact that most powerful nations of the time opposed them either because they cherished their political freedoms, saw their economies fail, or simply were on the Nazi "to-exterminate" list.

So with all that baggage, how the hell did they manage to conquer most of Europe?  

Two words: operational flexibility. Or "knockout artistry", whichever you prefer. In the early half of the war, the German military operated on a principle they called "mission tactics" (auftragstaktik) or "selbstandigkeit der Unterfuhrer" (independence of the subordinate commander). The field commanders were given clear overall goals (such as: secure this location by such and such time), and then given free rein in HOW they accomplished the goal. Left to their own devices, the German commanders in the field were creative and flexible, using everything they had at their disposal and making high risk, high reward maneuvers. They also entered the war with radios in every tank and the best close air support in the world (at the time). They also had a tactical/strategic philosophy called "Bewegungskrieg" (war of movement) that emphasized mobile operations and front-loaded shock assaults and sought to avoid getting stuck into prolonged fights, since they knew from experience that they couldn't win a "Stellungskrieg", a static war of positional fighting like WWI had been. This paid off brilliantly at first, since they blew through Poland, Belgium, France, Denmark, Norway, the Netherlands, the Balkans, Greece, and the British army (twice) without much trouble.

The French and British had stronger tanks, excellent defensive positions, and equivalent numbers, but it didn't matter. The Allies were expecting a war where both sides show up and shoot at each other, while the Germans had worked out that moving fast, surrounding the enemy, and smashing them from all sides was much easier and less costly than the kind of slow, grinding warfare that had bled them dry in WWI. One French general famously spent several days celebrating his promotion to the role of leading the defense, only to finally arrive at his command center and find the Germans one river away from Paris.

The German army did its best work when their commanders were allowed to make the most out of their situation and assets, and only started to suffer when they were micromanaged and squandered in operations that didn't play to their advantages in mobility (even Sun Tzu 2,500 years ago advised against armchair micromanagement and to let field commanders make decisions for themselves). Ironically, their primary enemy, the Soviets, experienced the opposite, going from a crippled military hampered by commissars being suspicious of the officers and meddling with everything due to undeserved authority bestowed by Stalin to Stalin learning to take a backseat and being content with focusing on allocating resources for the better military minds make use of as they saw fit, while he collected the lion's share of the credit like a master politician. This is really only partially true, however. 

The problem was that the German generals of the period had inherited the traditional Prussian mindset of "when all else fails, just attack the fuckers" and "proper logistical planning is for pansies and Frenchmen". Also, for all its celebrated flexibility, ''auftragstaktik'' also meant that there wasn't much in the way of backup planning, since orders were supposed to be short, simple, and delivered verbally whenever possible, rather than being written down. In turn, this meant that when things inevitably went off the rails, the officers on the scene had to improvise, and not always with good results. For example, Erwin Rommel was basically allowed to do his own thing in Africa because the rest of the German high command was busy trying to stem the bleeding in Russia. While he had some successes early on, he outran his supply lines so often that he had to steal from the British to keep his troops fed and vehicles gassed up. This worked until the Brits got their shit together and kicked his ass at El Alamein. In the aftermath, he had to abandon many of his vehicles for lack of fuel and then made a series of bad decisions that got his army smashed into a bloody mess before being taken prisoner en masse. This same mindset led other German generals to do shit like feed division after division into the urban nightmare that was Stalingrad and beat their heads against the wall in the Caucasus while their overworked and poorly structured logistics pipeline struggled just to keep the troops fed and armed, let alone adequately replace losses in men and vehicles. Hitler and his dumbshittery didn't help any, to be sure, but the German army had exactly one tool in their box and didn't stop using it even when it was patently no longer working.