Editing Warhammer Fantasy Battle (section)

===[[Elf|Elves]]===
====High Elves==== 
[[File:Adrian smith high elf warriors.jpg|left|thumb|300px|Somehow the actual elves look more alien than the [[Eldar|alien elves]]]]
{{Main|High Elves (Warhammer)}}

'''OH BOY, HERE WE GO'''...The "good guys" of WHFB. Although as a group they're dickish in the extreme like you'd expect, many of them are quite bro-tier and the reason the race is diminishing is because they overtax themselves to save the world every time they can from everyone they can, and humans are usually what counts as part of the world (except ones tainted by chaos of course). 
They have the strongest navy in the world, wear red/white/blue, bring giant eagles to battle, are snobby, the average citizen can't even name the leader of their closest ally, they send in their marines to unwinnable conflicts, they saved the collective ass of the [[Old World]] twice, their head of government is democratically elected...

Many 40k fans mistakenly confuse the Eldar lore with Elf lore. This is a major mistake, as Eldar are characterized as [[Eldrad|ultra-dick failures]] while no faction has a bigger ass-kicking and ass-saving record than the High Elves. 

High Elves defeated the first Chaos invasion into the world (unknown to themselves that they had distant magical help from the [[Lizardmen]]) and every invasion since. They established a network of [[Waystone|Waystones]] which pull the excess magic (which Daemons use to manifest) into Ulthuan and shoot it back into the Warp. 
High Elves taught the Empire magic, and save the ass of Bretonnia every time it gets invaded by something they can't beat. They patrol the world's oceans in giant magical aircraft carriers that launch dragons, and wreck the shit of anyone trying to launch a Black Crusade. They single-handedly keep the world from being swallowed up by the Warp and all the good factions respect them for it (even if that's the ONLY thing Dwarfs respect about them). 

The Everqueen of the High Elves and the hereditary ruler (who co-rules with her democratically elected male counterpart, the Phoenix King), is a being of IMMENSE magical power whose soul is made up of the combined souls of all her mothers leading back to the first Everqueen, who was the second daughter of [[Isha]]. The souls themselves reside with Isha, and as a whole they make up the Everqueen entity. 
Chaos is afraid of her (read that again: Chaos Gods in 40k only ''respect'' the God Emprah as their greatest enemy and an equal, but they're actually '''afraid''' of the Everqueen), and she can cleanse anything the Chaos Gods can corrupt. Her only weaknesses are that sadness saps her energy (you do NOT want to piss her off though) and the fact she's mortal means her daughter has to be protected.

High Elves are ethnically divided into ten major groups by region. [[Prince Imrik|Some are such pricks who treat even other High Elves like Eldar treat the Mon'keigh]], [[Eltharion|some are fatalistic jackasses with the personality of a secret service agent]], [[Alith Anar|some are revenge-obsessed sociopaths who make the Inquisition look like Lawful Good Paladins]], some are <strike>nutty professors</strike> wizards, and some are <strike>hippies</strike> murderhobo [[Bard|bards]] who are willing to make love AND war as the situation requires. In addition, High Elves have districts within major trade cities in all the good factions. 

High Elves would rather walk willingly into Slaanesh's open mouth than do anything beneficial to a Dark Elf and vice versa, a stark contrast to Eldar/Dark Eldar relations.  
When they die, High Elves are first nabbed by their patron god if said god liked them enough. Next, they can corpse-run to a Waystone (giant magical structures set up all over the world by their race to weaken Chaos and keep Daemons from manifesting) where they get to chill and manifest semi-solid bodies (which they will usually use to pick off troops from any evil races that wander by). Then, there's an evil goddess who got punished by [[Asuryan]] for trying to rape him while he was asleep and gets back at his rejection by taking High Elf souls (she doesn't care about any other Elf subraces) to torture like it's Christian hell. The final alternative is Slaanesh manages to snatch them from the material plane and either eats them or turns them into [[Daemonette]]s (yes, in Fantasy he still does this). All of Slaanesh's Greater Daemons are elves who in one way or another wound up in his employ (from [[N'kari]] who was an insipid noblewoman who wanted to be the center of attention, to Dechala who was a virgin sacrificed by her parents to Slaanesh for mercy and came back as a pissed off Medusa with an army of Daemonettes to butcher them). 
While Eldar must use soulstones to keep their soul safe, High Elves use them only to guard them in combat against Daemons and those who worship them. Otherwise, their only use is to link to the Waystone network and provide GPS navigation for the elves. 

[[Ulthuan]] is like paradise (for the most part, there's Chaos corrupted areas and random encounter tables of course) and elves will fuck, sing and enjoy the splendors of life without fear of taint as they must give themselves willingly to Chaos to be corrupted. The Cult of Pleasure, Slaanesh's Elf cult, takes root like Chaos cults in the [[Imperium]] and have to be [[Blam|purged]] by the High Elf [[Inquisition]] who are kung fu Elves in light armor who have swords as tall as their body but don't look weaboo. 

Eldar are all-powerful psykers, although humanity has potential to make stronger psykers than the average Eldar. High Elves on the other hand are constantly bathed in magical energy, more so than the rest of the world, but you have to actually LEARN to be a <strike>psyker</strike> wizard. Since High Elves have public education and being a wizard is a great job, there's more Elf wizards than human ones and they're typically more powerful (the fact you have to LEARN to be a wizard means that the only humans who can come close to badass Elf Loremasters are prodigies of Mary Sue proportions). Of course, one of the 10 High Elf ethnic groups have the old fashioned "every Elf is also a level 1 wizard" feature, but that's just them. 

Eldar have a multitude of different styles of combat and war, and a multitude of different philosophies related to them. High Elves have three basic flavours of badass warriors: stoic sumbitch priest who shrugs off cannonballs to the face, guy with giant axe who wrestles monsters then goes for an ale, and Witch Hunter with giant sword.  

High Elves are, to the very last, soldiers. Every poet is also a Spear<strike>man</strike>elf, every baker is also a wizard, and every secretary loads giant bolt throwers. They passed the point of desperation tens of thousands of years ago, putting High Elves in the position of Israelis.

====Dark Elves==== 
[[File:DE.png|right|thumb|400px|"We are the most civilized race in the entire world.  We have more exquisite ways to kill than any other"]]
{{Main|Dark Elves (Warhammer)}}

Edgier elves who get shit done [[Dark Eldar|without drugs and soul torture]]. Dark Elves manage to maintain the awesomeness and jack it up to a new level while still at the same time being made of the kind of fail you'd expect from a fantasy Dark Elf race. How do they do this you might ask? By taking the next logical step in the elven belief of "we're better than everyone" over to "so we should be allowed to kill them for sport". They have a history involving use of slavery, violently suppressed the indigenous population when they colonized their new homeland, look down on the rest of the world, are embroiled in an ongoing war with a foreign nation, spy on everyone including themselves, citizens can easily gain access to deadly weapons, they built structures to keep people from a bordering nation out... 

After being driven out of Ulthuan by the High Elves they fled to a new land they named Naggaroth (in memory of their old homeland Nagarythe).  Naggaroth is Warhammer North America but very cold with a network of underground rivers and a sea in the middle.  The topography of the land is half mountains, half flat plains which are mostly covered in forests. Parts of it are Chaos corrupted or dead, and those are probably the LEAST dangerous places to explore.  The land is infested with all sorts of monsters, from Harpies and Cold Ones to Manticores and Hydras.  Even worse than them are populations of Orcs (descended from the spores of Orcs Dark Elves tried to use against the High Elves as slave soldiers), Beastmen (because Chaos) and Skaven (because the rats can tunnel under oceans apparently), though the Dark Elves have a treaty with them.  

Their entire culture is built around "if you died, you were too fucking weak/stupid to stay alive". They have no protections for their souls because none of them admit they could die because that would mean admitting you are possibly less awesome than you tell everyone you are (because they'll kill you for lulz if you don't pretend to be more awesome than they're pretending to be). When Dark Elves die, they go first to their patron elf god if they manage to impress them (unlike High Elves they worship the nastier elf gods, collectively called the Cytharai) then to the same elf goddess who tried to seduce Asuryan then straight to Slaanesh. The third is okay, because some Dark Elves FUCKING WORSHIP SLAANESH (only in secret - in public they worship [[Khaine]] the lord of murder and the other Cytharai for fear of [[Blam|Malekith's wrath]]). 

[[Malekith|Their king]] is the second son of the elves' greatest hero, but grew up to fuck up the world almost as badly as Daemons did the first time they invaded the material plane, and is the setting's resident Doctor Doom/Darth Vader (The only non-Chaos threat to the world greater than him is [[Nagash]], the Apocalypse to Malekith's Doctor Doom).  Their queen [[Morathi]] is Slaanesh's high priestess and the queen mother; she's been fucking her son since he was old enough to have his hips move by themselves. Oh, and that son/mother couple have been plotting to kill each other and take full control of the Dark Elves for thousands of years, with each gambit resulting in mass Dark Elf casualties and a "kiss and make up" moment for the two. Morathi is the single oldest living being in the setting (except most Slann and a few Saurus are as old if not older, plus [[Drachenfels]] if you consider him canon, but whatever), and it's all because she bathes in Daemonette jizz (literally, Dark Elves like to summon Daemonettes to parties, with said parties having low survival rates and Morathi keeps Daemon servants with her at all times) and the blood of newborn elves.

Fun fact: each year the craziest of the crazy, the Witch Elves (female berserkers in chainmail bikinis with poisoned blades) who worship Khaine, have a ten day holiday called "Death Night" where they just rampage through Dark Elf cities and kill whoever they want, unless said person can buy their lives in double digit amounts of slaves. They recruit into their ranks by stealing babies and very young children. The girls are automatically raised as Witch Elves while [[Grimdark|the boys are thrown into a cauldron of boiling blood]], those that survive are trained as assassins.

The Dark Elves raid the entire fucking world, constantly. They're the pirates that piss everyone off. They've managed to steal a [[Slann]] by lobotomizing it, then they turned it into fireworks (massive Dark Elf casualties). They plan safaris into the Chaos Wastes to shoot [[Warriors of Chaos|Norsemen]] and bring them home to be stuffed and turned into trophies. As long as they've existed, Dark Elves have been at a war with the High Elves. Every battle both sides suffer massive casualties, as Malekith is fighting the war mostly for the sake of pride and sends his men at fortresses that have never fallen because he wants to be the one to make them fall (he'll do this every year for thousands of years without learning a damn thing). 

But despite dying en masse at the hands of their enemies and their own people, somehow Dark Elves manage to keep their population high. Every time they attack High Elves they suffer MASSIVE casualties in comparison to their enemies, and manage to return to full strength in a few months. While the fluff implies that the Dark Elves kidnap High Elf children to raise as Dark Elves along with their numbers being boosted High Elf defectors fleeing to Naggaroth, there is a much simpler reason; Games Workshop has admitted that they don't deal in concrete figures and there are as many elves as the plot demands, so illogical writing is the reason they can replenish their numbers so easily despite elves being a dying race.

====Wood Elves====
[[File:Wood-Elf-Armybook-Art.jpg|thumb|right|450px|They do say nature is a mother, after all. And this mother is a colossal bitch.]]
{{Main|Wood Elves (Warhammer)}}

During the heyday of the High Elves, before Chaos first invaded the world, the High Elves had established colonies in Warhammer France. Generations passed, and these elves knew little to nothing of the homeland save for what news traders brought them.
When Daemons first invaded they were left to defend themselves, but by mobilising the primitive stone-age humans they were able to hold their own. Shortly after, architects were sent to establish Waystones in their lands and rekindle ties. Once again however, they were abandoned to their fates when Dark Elves first started the big never-ending civil war, then after a short period of being in touch with the homeland again were subject to the brutality of the Dwarfs after the Phoenix King of the time went full retard and pissed the Dwarfs off (of course, Dwarfs neither know the difference in ethnicities nor cared as it was all just knife-ears and keebs to them). After being told to evacuate and leave everything behind to go home and fight the war against the Dark Elves, the colonists burned their draft cards and fled to the sentient forest to become '''Wood Elves'''. 

They then turned into a pack of insane dicks.

So that forest they fled to is [[Athel Loren]]. Athel Loren is, in theory, a bastion of life and anti-Chaos in the world. In practice, it's a giant forest that plays by its own rules and is fucking expanding to the point it's theoretically capable of overtaking the rest of the world. Parts of it are Chaos corrupted or dead, and those are probably the LEAST dangerous places to explore. It is a forest full of unmentionable terrors of all shapes and sizes who will FUCKING VIOLATE YOU AND EAT YOU. But they're not evil. They're made that way/too dumb to understand alignment/a natural force of destruction, not a malicious one. So they're horrible and evil but their actual alignment is nicely True Neutral.

The actual elves live in the parts of Athel Loren in Bretonnia. Said forest existed way before the coming of Daemons & Aenarion, being much, much, MUCH larger than today, which in turn means that Bretonnia is actually living on what was once said forest.  They smoke weed, have /ss/ and /ll/ and /sm/ with kidnapped Bretonnian noble children, hunt humans like animals using giant hunting dogs every summer when their king awakens from his winter sleep after they tie a Bretonnian maiden to a tree naked and shoot her full of arrows. They also manipulate the Bretonnian nobles into becoming more superior elf-like humans by manipulating an entity so ancient and unknowable that even THEY have no idea what she is. Said entity appears before humans that are badass and gives them geneseed cider to drink, which turns them into living Superman. 

Culturally, the Asrai are a mix of High and Dark Elves with a mix of batshit insane dark evil with noblebright altruism. Some do random shit like decide to hold impromptu celebrations and plays because of a smell on the wind and re-enact battles that may or may not have actually happened but with actual killing. During the performance, they are literally holding their entrails in with their hands while giggling and teasing the dead, dying, and still up and killing for forgetting their lines because they're fucking crazy like that. When they have festivals, some elves will have a dance contest with ''invited'' humans. Sort of like Dance-Dance Revolution. The bets are usually on how long the human will last, before he/she becomes too ''tired'' to continue. Some Elves invite you to peacefully feast and drink and have fun in their woody halls. In exchange they feed you to Daemons and monsters when you fall asleep. If you're lucky they'll let you leave after the party, but you'll find out that a few days in Athel Loren can be a hundred years outside and it catches up to you so you rapidly age and die. Seriously, Wood Elves are fucking scary.

Their king became the avatar of [[Kurnous]] and reincarnates (via virgin sacrifice) every year (during which he usually kills the shit out of Bretonnians because 'why the fuck not?'), while their queen claims to be the REAL avatar of Isha and uses prophesy and scrying to figure out what's going on in the rest of the world.
For some context: Alarielle, the Everqueen of the High Elves, is the God Emprehss of Elfkind. Chaos Gods are scared of her, she can look Slaanesh in the eye and cause Slaanesh to blink. '''Alarielle is fucking scared of the Wood Elves''', and notices that her Wood Elf counterpart, Ariel, is changing into something far more feral than the world has ever known and that the rest of the Asrai are too. 

Wood Elves have a different view on the world than the other two races; while High Elves see themselves as masters of the world's fate and see the future as a great battle between good and evil and Dark Elves see the world as their playground with no regard for who came before or who comes after, the Wood Elves believe that fate has already decided. They believe that Chaos is coming, and in the end thanks to the manipulations of Ariel the entire rest of the world other than Athel Loren will be swallowed into the Warp, leaving the Wood Elves as the ultimate winners of the world conflict when they alone inhabit the material plane. As such, their fluff is quite grim and full of determinism and in-universe the Wood Elves are more or less Eldar. They also claim that the elf gods have already staged the final battle against Chaos, lost it, and are slowly being consumed by Chaos until they will fade away forever. Since this is not mentioned within the fluff of the other two races it can be assumed this is the Wood Elf perspective rather than the outright canon. 

But that's just the Wood Elves. The rest of the "Wood Elves" army? Treekin. Not Treebeard (who will tell you a story while he smooshes Orcs), not Old Man Willow (who hates you and will put you to sleep forever), and not the kind of Dryads who get raped by Satyrs ([[FATAL|but actually enjoy it because they're that horny, either meaning it's not rape or that that was how the ancient Greeks thought rape worked]]). No, these are like Hills Have Eyes tree people. Some of them march to war with the Wood Elves because they recognize kindred spirits. Some rampage against all non-tree life in the forest. Some of them are so batshit insane that they attack everything, constantly in giant tree battles where the splinters grow into new Dryads and Treekin who then jump straight into the fray like hard-skinned [[Orks]]. That ain't Chaos corruption either, it's their natural state. Regardless of sanity, ALL Athel Loren Treekin are infested with angry chittering forest spirits that will eat you like flying pirahnas. Elves who die in the forest can become angry bitter trees that don't remember anything, unless you're raped by hermaphrodite daemons who then kill you when they get bored, so yes, you fucking come back to life by inhabiting a dead tree, so you can fucking show those fucking skanks HOW IT FEELS WHEN THE FUCKING FAVOR IS RETURNED! WITH INTEREST/SPLINTERS!! FUCK!!! They also decorate themselves with entrails and skeletons like a decorator crab.

Oh, and the leader of these insane fucking scary tree people? [[Drycha]]. Insane forest treegirl. Drycha is crazy, by any standards of crazy. She's a tree woman with acorn nipples that dribble syrup. She's perhaps one of the most terrifying beings in the setting, and that's saying a lot. Luckily, (if you're not Asrai) she's mostly against the Wood Elves since she thinks they're the ones responsible for everything going wrong with the world (Get out of my swamp you kids!).
8E re-introduced a male counterpart, Durthu, a Wood Elf Treeman character back from 5E who is similar to Drycha except that he only hates Dwarfs while being bitter against everyone else.  He now wields a giant amber sword forged by an elf, and is revealed to have been the one who saved an infant Everqueen and her brother in Ulthuan thousands of years ago. 

Athel Loren doesn't expand naturally. It's suddenly appeared on islands in the sea. When you wander into those forests looking for coconuts, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a forest from hell somewhere around Alsace-Lorraine, with Drycha and a hundred or so Dryads decorated in greenskin, Dwarf, Elf, and Human bodies all staring down at you. Athel Loren has worldroots connected to many different forest around the world. Which means you will never be safe, my little ''porcupine butts''

tl;dr Wood Elves live in Athel Loren which is between Bretonnia and The Empire, which is both alive, and akin to a forest in Soviet Russia - where forest cuts down you! The Elves are crazy insane rapists, and the tree people are fucking xenomorphs. You're either a tool to them that will be destroyed when you are no longer useful, or are a plaything for their amusement.