Editing /tg/ Heresy Writefaggotry (section)

===The Temptation of Onyx===
Onyx Sat down to meditate in the Sanctum aboard the Everest. It had been a long-fought war against the monstrous creatures known as the Jormmund, and he was spent physically, as well as mentally. He had lost many brothers in this costly campaign, at least 20,000 by the Apothecaries' latest count. The Emperor had a statue erected in his legion's honor on the home world of the horrific titans, Jormungand. He was also gifted the grand Everest, a super battle cruiser in development since his discovery on Neolithus. The Emperor figured it a fitting reward for fighting off such a terrible foe, and presented it on the celebratory day of victory. Now, he could finally take respite from war and reclaim his senses. His eyes closed and his stern, chiseled expression froze on his face. 

He saw himself standing with the other primarchs, and in front of them, the mighty Emperor addressing the people of Terra. He remembered this day, it was an announcement that all the sons of the glorious Emperor had been recovered, and that the Great Crusade could now fully begin. Onyx felt something, almost like inadequacy. He towered over many of the Primarchs, and even the Emperor himself. But that was not were his insecurities lied, no, he felt that he was just simply not a son of the father of mankind. All his life he had thought himself a normal man. Well, perhaps not normal, but at least a mortal. Now he was expected to be a son of the most god-like being in all of humanity. Then, all of a sudden, a flash of light blinded him temporarily. When his eyes had adjusted, he found himself on the plains of Jormungand, fighting in the Collossi wars. The cyclonic torpedo that had created the blinding flash dissipated into a plume of black smoke, and the surroundings became clear. This was the final hour of the war, the fall of the Jormmund. Instinctively, he turned to see the final titan: the largest of them all, bigger than 3 Emperor class titans combined. It straddled a craggy mountain like a mere footstool; It's twisted, gnarled arms crushing and pummeling his forces. 
"You did this. You felled the giants, as mighty as they were. Why do you doubt yourself, son of Neolithus?"
Onyx turned to direction of the voice, and saw a blood-red space marine. He was taller than even he, and very clearly stronger. His armor was adorned with golden medals, sashes, and ornaments. At his side lay a massive chainaxe, pristine as if it had never been used.

"You think yourself mortal. This could not be farther from the truth. You are not only immortal, you are indestructible. A true immovable object, and an unstoppable force. No man could stand in your way, even the Emperor."

Onyx turned to see the final Jorrmund again. It was visibly tiring, and beginning to fall.
"This is your power. Your might. Your fist. Not the Emperor's, not the Imperium's."

"And what of my men?" Onyx responded.
"Are they not of mention?"

"They are your sons. It is only natural they inherit your incredible power."

The red marine positioned himself next to Onyx, and the two watched the final giant fall.

"The Emperor wishes to control you. Your power. His wishes are against your own, and as long as you remain under his yoke you will suffer the whip. The Emperor is weak, a false idol. He will lead you to disaster, and all of humanity will left to crawl among the remains of his failed "empire". Only a pathetic fool would follow such a weakling."

Onyx turned and thrust his fist into the figure's gut. The red marine was thrown from his feet, his armor was fractured, and blood leaked from the cracks. 

"It is not wise to insult a man's father, lest you suffer the wrath if his sons." 

The red marine choked on blood as his helmet and rebreather began to overflow with red ichor. Onyx pondered helping, or just killing him outright. Then the marine stood up. 

"I've had enough of your excuses, astartes, so you can cast off that thin shroud of justice and morality you cling to. Embrace the bloodthirst that hungers within you; your need to kill is so overwhelming I can smell it. why do you continue to supress it?"

Onyx clenched his fists and his teeth, and charged at the red marine. The marine moved unnaturally fast, and struck Onyx in the jaw. Blood ran from his lip, and stained his white beard. Onyx laid against a rock, his jaw stinging with pain. How this... thing could manage to hurt him so easily was unthinkable to Onyx. He was disoriented, and came to just as a chainaxe descended from above him. Onyx rolled out of the way, narrowly escaping the spinning blade. He charged at the monster, grabbed the chainaxe, attempting to disarm the red being. As Onyx struggled, he realized the marine's  appearance had changed. His many gold medals had morphed into various ghoulish trinkets and bones. His armor was covered in blood and viscera, and his mask had a haunting expression imprinted on it. His eyes glowed red, like a near-dead sun ready to burst.  
The red beast flung Onyx back, and raised his chainaxe.

"YOU DARE ATTACK ME IN MY OWN REALM? THE REALM OF CHAOS? I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER BEYOND COMPREHENSION; I WILL MAKE YOU DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS OVER A THOUSAND EONS. YOU WILL KNOW FEAR, FOR I WILL TEACH IT TO YOU."

The chainaxe descended, then stopped. Onyx had grabbed the blade. His hands were hot with his blood, and his muscle strained against the massive bulk before him.

"No, daemon, know this; You were foolish to underestimate me."

Onyx pulled with his remaining strength, until the red behemoth finally gave way. Onyx ran at the stunned monster, and thrust the hilt through the downed beast's skull. 
The world began to crumble around him, as the currents and floes of the warp tore alart his vision and engulfed him.

Onyx awoke from his delusion covered in sweat, and collapsed to the floor. He struggled to his knees, gasping for breath as he called for his attendant to bring him a flask of water. He was shaken, perhaps even more than on Jormungand. He had won, defeated his spectral assailant; but at what consequence?