Editing Dungeon Meshi (section)

==Fantastic Beasts and how to eat them==
* Scorpion: A typical scorp. It's got claws and a tail, regular scorp stuff. When preparing, remove the legs, guts and tail, as they taste bad. Cutting into scores helps the heat travel better.
* Trotting Mushroom: Primary prey consists of overconfident eight year olds. To eat, cut off the butt and outer layers. The legs are fine to eat, though. Cutting vertically is the best way to slice them, it seems
* Slime: Drops onto people right after they exhale, drowning them. Difficult to remove without tools, though fire will do the trick. Tastes good dried.
* Man eating plants: Some strangle you, some digest you, some lay seeds in your skin. Nasty. Tends to grow well in walls with space in them, that is, areas with traps. This makes the traps even more dangerous since you'll be dealing with unreliable, broken mechanisms along with paralyzing plants. Can be eaten with vinegar.
* Basilisk: A chicken with a snake tail (or a snake with a chicken tail? Forbidden knowledge~) Can be spooked by things that look bigger than it. And don't run away with your back turned, it'll kick the shit outta ya. Also have lethal venom in their bite.
* Mandrakes: Well known for making elves scream at ear shattering volumes. Their regular scream is also deadly, but it can be safely plucked by a) murdering dogs, b) having long ropes, or c) stabbing it quick enough. Replacing the dog option with a big bat is not recommended.
* Animated armour: Are actually mollusks (forbidden knowledge) that exist between the metal armour and a thin internal shell. They try to protect their eggs like all living creatures. Cannot be trusted inside swords. Boiling or steaming the armor makes them easier to remove and eat.
* Golems: are little magic totems inside mounds of clay or other substances. Can be used to grow their own crops.
* Orcs: are sentient demi-humans so please don't eat them. They are rather violent, and are rather grumpy too. 
* Treasure insects: A sign that the DM very clearly hates all of you. Bugs that take the form of valuble items, can be boiled and skewered.
* Ghosts: Spooky. While not directly edible, banishing them with holy water leads to a refrigerating effect that can be used to make shaved ice.
* Mimics: According to Chilchack, the worst thing in the entire world. Giant crabs that choose the sneakiest places to hide, so that they may jump out and ruin the day of whoever comes near to their hiding place. You can cook it just like any other sort of crab.
* Kelpies: Horses with mermaid tails. Might act charming, but have nothing but evil in their hearts even after years of friendly encounters.
* Giant Squids: Fairly self-explanatory.
* Mermaids: Come in "tempting siren" mammalian variety and "Oh god, kill it" piscene variety. Both are dangerous.
* Squid parasites: [[Recursion|Also have parasites in them. Which also have parasites...]] 
* Undine: Highly dangerous water spirits that blast people with high-pressure water. Basically concentrated mana so if you manage to catch one, can be boiled alive and made into soup for convenient mana refill.
* Giant Frogs:  Giant frogs with giant tongues for snatching weapons off your hands. Their skin is resistant to paralyzing effects of plants in dungeon, so chances are you'll meet these together.
* Dragons: They are dragons, what do you expect? Really hard to kill even for full, experienced parties. Eats everything that's meat, from adventurers to wolves. They have a bad habit of fighting each other upon meeting so it is a bad idea for a dungeon master to summon many of them in a small space.
** Red Dragons: Large, scaly red Dragon with two pairs of horns on their head. They are known for their ability to breathe fire, which they accomplish by clicking their tongue (like flint stone) and igniting the fuel stored in their bodies, then exhaling. The fuel is typically the indigestible parts of their meals, like bones and fur, as well as oil. The burns left by dragon fire are apparently different to those left by normal fire. Despite being very large, they lack any wings to fly and are not very agile. They are known for being extremely tough due to their thick as steel scales that are invulnerable to both physical and magical attacks, as well as having very thick skin. They can be killed however with a well placed strike to the underside of their neck with Mithril weapons, which are known for their sharpness and ability to cut through dragon scales. Male dragons have a small protrusion underneath their chin, while female dragons do not. It's meat is fairly tough and chewy, but has a rich taste and powerful aroma. 
** White Dragon: Dragon that can breathe ice. Coated in fur instead of being scaly. 
** Green Dragon: Extremely agile dragon. Obsessed with shiny treasures like gold and silver.
** Eastern Dragon: Asian serpent-like dragon that can telekinetically fly and control weather.
** Wyrm: Also known as an Earth Dragon. It is toothless, dwells in dark caves and breathes an extremely toxic gas that kills any who inhale it. It's eyes are degenerated so it relies more on hearing to live in dark environments. Apparently it's gas is explosively flammable.
** Leviathan: An Orca like whale monster that swallows its prey like Jaws and has the power to summon sea waters and creates whirlpools in the water.
** Nightmares: Small monsters that give you nightmares and feed on your emotions if you sleep close to them, usually this happens when they hide in your pillow. Despite looking like clams, they're apparently dragons ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shen_(clam-monster) which is apparently a nod to an ancient Asian folk belief]). After being discovered they can't really do much, so feel free to steam them alive.
* Cockatrices: Similar to basilisks but bigger, meaner and nastier. Their venom causes petrification, from which you can recover naturally... as long as none of your petrified body parts snap off.
* Dryads: Gendered plants, females look like human women, with males being basically pumpkins with human faces. Only females put up a fight and cutting one results in outburst of pollen, the ingestion of which causes heavy allergic reactions. Grow from fruits which are edible.
* Shapeshifters: Generally refers to all monsters that change shape, but the ones that seem to take shape of party members are actually illusions caused by a mind-reading beast that creates images based on thoughts of other members of the party.
* Ice Golems: These appear if a magic totem used for creation of golems ends up in water that freezes, and then gets activated with a magic circle. Basically, all of this coming together would require one hell of a coincidence so you really don't have to worry about ever seeing one.
* Barometz: Sheep that grow from plants, harmless by themself but regularly preyed on by wolves and other carnivores, so it's best not to stick to places where they grow for too long. Tastes like crab.
* Griffins: You should know what griffins are.
* Hippogriffs: As seen in Harry Potter! They do resemble griffins, but have lower body that resembles a horse. They are also herbivorous, and have a distinct taste.
* Changelings: Contrary to popular belief, changelings are not creatures in and of themselves, but the result of a creature stepping into a ring of magic mushrooms. Said creature will eventually turn into mushrooms themselves unless they wash off all of the spores. Useful if you wanted to turn your griffon meat into hippogriff meat for whatever reason, or if you're feeling bored with the dumplings you have, you can just change your pot-stickers into ravioli, or your baozi into perogies. Just avoid direct contact.
* Bicorn: Whereas Unicorns are attracted to purity, Bicorns are attracted to immorality and corruption. However, its favorite prey is virtuous husbands; if you get too close, it'll try to take a bite out of you, but otherwise it doesn't seem (or at least taste) that different from a normal horse.
*Dullahan: An undead monster taking the form of a headless suit of armor. Do not eat.
* Succubus: The kind that most adventurers encounter are not true demons, but a type of shapeshifting mosquito that morphs itself into whatever its victim most desires, then uses its proboscis to suck the essence out of its victim, converting it into a milk to feed its larva. The best defense against a succubus is to have several party members at the ready since a succubus can only target one person at a time; if outnumbered, the only real defense is to have multiple souls in the same body (as the case with beastmen) so at least part of you isn't enthralled. Succubus victims can have their vitality restored by drinking said milk mixed with some nutrients. The larva are also nutritious, akin to shrimp when cooked.
** Incubus: Kabru reveals to Laius that as a child he believed he was the spawn of his mother and a succubus given his blue eye. After tutoring from his adoptive elf mother he accepts that this is not the case and chalks his eye color to genetic chance and the fact that succubus cannot impregnate women. In response Laius suggests that Kabru may be the son of an incubus. However Laius dismisses the incubus as an excuse for cheating wives and instead suggests that Kabru is child of a kind of parasitic wasp, much to Kabru's annoyance.
*Phoenix: Pretty much exactly how your typical phoenix works; bursts into flames every time it resurrects. So how exactly do you cook a phoenix? Well, thanks to some rules put in place by the dungeonmaster, monsters cannot harm the native residents of the dungeon, so having one in close proximity allows you to prepare the meat, step back to let it self-cook, then quickly get close again. It is recommended to stay close to a dungeon resident for at least three hours to let the meat properly digest... otherwise you'll get a very different kind of "heartburn."
*Dungeon Rabbit: With a name like that, you thought they'd be just regular old rabbits living in a dungeon, right? Hahaha NO. These fuckers are the bastard children of the [[Monty Python|Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog]]. They're fully capable of decapitating seasoned adventurers despite being no bigger than ordinary rabbits. Instead of razor sharp teeth, they have razor sharp spikes on their hind legs that they use to slit their victim's throats, so neck protection is critical.
[[Category:Weeaboo]] [[Category: Approved Media]]
*Demon: Initially it is but a sparkle of mana that entered the mortal realm. However, it will eventually acquire sentient after it accidentally devoured one of the mortal creatures' desire out of curiosity. Having a first taste in dining on desire, it developed the concept of hunger and taste, starting a eating frenzy that will left many mortal beings (animals, humans, insects, etc..) desireless, turning them into vegetables, and it will never be satisfied since it is a living mana with a bottomless stomach. Eventually, it will find new ways to add more flavors into other mortal beings by feeding itself to them in various ways. It also desires the flavor of mortals' complicate desires rather than the common one (to be rich, fame, etc...), so demons are apparently quite picky. This results in it growing larger, into the demon we all knew and fear, while also results into conclude with the decision to granting mortal's wish just so the demon could feast on their desires. Fortunately, some wise mortal made a wish to the demon and had them confined into a dungeon. A much braver and wiser adventurer would figure out a way to kill it by making a wish that gives them the ability to eat their desire. The more a person eats a demon's desire, the more they crave, exactly like a driving force of life. According to winged lion, demons are like a string of hair connected to one large main body, and they are spread throughout the world, confined in their own dungeon.