Editing /TG/heim:JT and Friends Private League (section)

===Records: Take Two===

98) '''Kasimir's Kin Win vs. The Dread Men in a Skirmish''' ''(Notable Casualties - all the Wights, any hope that Ladi isn't just a blithering nutcase)'' Kasimir's Kin made their way through the streets of Mordheim, stepping over the remains of many battles fought, searching for the valuable Wyrdstone. However, the Jaegers spotted something in the distance and Kasimir ordered his men to investigate. This quickly turned into a disaster, as the minions of a dread Lich suddenly attacked! At first things looked grim for the Ostlanders - Kasimir and the majority of his hunters were put on the defensive by hungry zombies. Worse, Ladi, the Priest of Taal, declaring that he could help, proceeded to fling small woodland creatures out of a bag while screaming at the paving stones to stop judging him - which soon attracted the attention of zombies, wights and worse. What was worse, is the zombies the Ostlanders managed to kill suddenly rose back from the dead, the work of the foul Lich and his Apprentice! With Ladi assumed dead and the Ostlanders fighting a seemingly unending tide of the blasphemous walking dead, all seemed lost and the Ostlanders were ready to rout. However, Kasimir loudly berated all of them, filled with the classic Ostlander stubborness, and swore that any kinmember who took a step back would lose drinking rights for a week. This thought so terrified the Ogre Grule that he went on a rampage, smashing a multitude of the undead to dust and causing the Lich to call a retreat. After the battle Ladi was nowhere to be found, so Kasimir prepared a wake for him, only for the Priest to show up in the middle of his own funeral, somehow even crazier than before.

99) '''The Dread Men Win vs. Kasimir's Kin in Surprise Attack''' ''(Notable casualties - poor little Sybil)''
Ladi and two of the OStlander drunkards were returning home from a party, drugged and drunk, when they made a rather idiotic insult in the direction of Sybil on her being a loli and therefore stupid. On hearing his daughter crying, Redryl arrived with a ton of zombies, and as a group they began gang-raping the drunks, whilst Ladi screamed about squirrels and began hurling the small creatures at Sybil from behind a bush. After getting knocked down, she was attacked from behind by Reinburn, who finally killed her with his spear, only to be beating to a cripple by an enraged zombie. After losing much of their party, Kasimir finally apologized for the insult that started it all and everyone went their separate ways, after Redryl revived his daughter.

100) '''The Dread Men Win against Ser Feucan's Coterie in a Wyrdstone Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties - the knights' dignity)'' It was an odd day when the honorouble knights encountered the Dread men. On attempting a flanking maneouver, the knights were ambushed by a lone zombie, who proved to be far more of a badass than any shambling undead had any right to be, holding them both down for several rounds while the rest of the crew tried to sneak up on the peasants and squires. Not terribly successfully, as a peasant archer wandered into the street trying to figure out where his knights went only to come face-to-face with a handful of undead. On screaming and being taken out, the knights heard and finally dealt with the zombie, only to be immediately swamped with more zombies as skeletons attacked the archers and took out several. Finally, Lenway was taken out as zombies dragged him from his horse and then beat him unconcious while he tried to mount up again. Feucan, facepalming, called a route and the two warbands went home.

101) '''The Dread Men Win vs. Kasimir's Kin in a Wyrdstone Hunt''' ''(Notable Casualties - Karl the Jaeger, some undead losers)'' It was a fine day. And then came the ogre. Wanting all the swag for his family, Grule ran ahead and grabbed up all the wyrdstone so he could hang it around his neck. The Dread men, attempting to get it back, began losing zombies right away, while the others engaged just outside the central building. Redryl and a drunk flailed at one another for a time before a zombie came to the lich's aid, while a jaeger was killed by a wraith, who's better brother had already been taken down by the ogre. The match finally ended when Emmaline was taken out, Kasmir calling a retreat. Still, Grule brought home the baco- I mean wyrdstone. Four pieces of it, in fact.

102) '''Kasimir's Kin Win vs. Ser Feucan's Coterie in a Skirmish''' ''(Notable Casualties - Levry)'' After spending their Wyrdstone, Kasimir had managed to lure more of his clan to Mordheim. However, as they were looting a building for more ale to have a celebration of the new arrivals, they heard the sound of intruders, likely after their wyrdstone and goods. The Clan took up hiding spots and then bombarded the Bretonnians with arrows, the Bretonnians retaliating. Eventually, everyone was surprised when Ladi started having seizures that summoned waves of squirrels, biting the Bretonnian horses and leading Sir Lenway to take a nasty fall from his horse - and then take an arrow in between his armour plates. Grule the Ogre then rushed into where the Bretonnian peasants were firing their bows and threw Levry out the window, causing the bowmen to scatter - the Squires then retrieved Ser Lenway and beat a hasty retreat.

103) '''Waaagh Ironteef wins vs. the Dread Men in a Skirmish''' ''(Notable Casualties - lots of zombies; the Dread Men disband in shame)'' After their long trip into Mordheim leading their semi-tame troll, the Boyz of Waaagh Ironteef were spoilin' for a fight when they happened across the Dread Men. They decided to play it safe, advancing in the shadow of the troll, stopping occasionally for it to pick its nose and belch while the Dread Men attempted to fill its hide with arrows. As the orcs closed, the boyz raced out from their cover to get stuck in, overrunning the frail zombies and single skeleton archer put in their way. Disheartened by his losses, the Lich Redryl decided to beat a hasty retreat before the brutes could touch him or his precious apprentice.

104) '''Kasimir's Kin Win vs. Cult of the Abhorred in a Surprise Attack''' ''(Notable Casualties - Kalim Resnick)'' The Cult of the Abhorred slunk through Mordheim, looking for Wyrdstones and victims. They soon came across five Ostlanders, including Ladi who was making a lot of noise as usual. Delighted at the easy prey, the Possessed advanced... only to discover that their trap was in fact a trap laid by Kasimir, who like all good Ostlanders, hated chaos with a passion and had used these men as bait. Suddenly an Ogre was behind the Possessed Lines and Kasimir ran screaming towards them. The Ogre was wounded but not before he had snapped the Possessed Leader's leg with his club. Kasimir himself, flew into the mutants, bolstered by a tide of angry squirrels summoned by Ladi. The Cult retreated, the Kin having a funeral and wake for Kalim with lots of booze.

105) '''Slayers of Bargorash Win vs.  Cult of the Abhorred in a Chance Encounter''' ''(Notable Casualties - none)'' After escaping from Kasimir's Kin, the Cult stumbled upon a rundown house with a small cache of wyrdstone.  They were about to celebrate their timely discovery when found out of the ruins emerged a new threat.  The Slayers of Bargorash, warriors of Khorne, came rushing at them with a vicious warcry.  At the head of a pack of wardogs ran Ziglund, a condemned, his body twisting and convulsing as 6 arms sprouted from his back.  He tore into the Cult, laying low Ser Gor and quickly running after Maera.  The blood from the mutant witch burned into his flesh, knocking him out.  Picking up their fallen brother, they routed the remaining Cultists and stole what wyrdstone they cound find.

105) '''Cult of the Abhorred Win vs. Slayers of Bargorash in Occupy''' ''(Notable Casualties - Barrock, Ziglund and Fenrir)'' Tzeentch was feeling good today. Generous too. He looked down upon the world and saw that a wee warband called the Cult of the Abhorred was thoroughly trashed the day before by some Khornate warriors.  Well that wouldn't do at all, he thought.  Blessing them with some of the bizarrest luck never before seen, they dealt a telling blow that nearly disbanded the Slayers entirely.  Barrock was captured and sacrificed to the God of Change while Ziglund went banana-balls and had to be put down. All the while, Khorne watched the warriors from either side tear each other apart like good sports.  He too felt generous and granted both Krargon and Ansemaeus his unholy stronkth.

106) '''Slayers of Bargorash Win vs. Waaagh Ironteef in a Surprise Attack''' ''(Notable Casualties - Multoc)'' While out scavenging for precious wyrdstone, the Slayers found themselves suddenly beset by greenskin scum! The sound of battle soon drew the attention of the warlord Krargon, who led his warhounds in a masterful encirclement that battered the orcs' troll ally into submission. The orcs and Slayers fought, spilling much Blood for the Blood God, but with remarkably few casualties, thanks to their inhuman toughness. Eventually, seeing his troll brought low and his treasurer's ribs caved in, Boss Churak called a retreat to nurse their wounds. However, in the chaos, he discovered that one of his clever boyz had nicked the Slayer Bloodfather, Ansemaeus. The warlord was quick to ransom the man back to his cult, in exchange for a kingly sum of money and a few choice taunts delivered to the Chaos lads.

107) '''Cult of the Abhorred "Win" vs. Waaagh Ironteef in a Wyrdstone Hunt''' ''(Notable Casualties - Lyra and two cultists)'' Da Boyz went out hunting for loot to sate Boss Ironteef's ever-growing love for fine things. They were fortunate to stumble across a particularly nice batch of treasure, but the filthy mutants of the Abhorred struck! Dispatching Trollolol and his mightiest warriors to handle the cultists, the Boss commanded his newly-recruited Boyz to scour the ruins for treasure. Though the troll laid low on of the Chaos cultists with a horrible rending of bone, it was brought down by the combined efforts of the cult, and the boss himself was injured not long after. Seeing the original plan crumbling around him, Rukkel hit on a brilliant new stratagem called "Take Da Loot And Leg It!". The Boyz escaped with the precious wyrdstone and the Boss learned a valuable lesson about bein' sneaky and kunnin'.

108) '''Ser Feucan's Coterie Win vs. Waaagh Ironteef and Cult of the Abhorred in a Treasure Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties: Trestence the squire, Bek'rah)'' Rumors of a particularly rich hoard in the ruins of a wizard's manor drew three warbands: the virtuous Knights of Ser Feucan, the ravenous Orks of Waaagh Ironteef, and the cowardly Cultists of the Abhorred. All three sought the treasures of this cursed place, but a three-sided battle quickly developed. The greenskins, with their superior numbers, engaged both foes at once while their Boyz stole the greater sum of wyrdstone away in the chaos. Their great troll stomped its way into the Knights, laying low Ser Feucan and wounding the others. However, overstretched as they were, it was not long before the tide turned against the orcs in the north. With his warriors fleeing the Chaos cult, Boss Churak decided to withdraw rather than risk being trapped between two maddened foes. Instead, Chaos and Knight fell upon one another, with the bulk of the cult fleeing and sacrificing one of their lowly servants in the process. Tragically, the Squire Trestence was mauled, his leg shattered in the fighting, and was sent home with tales of glory to live out his days.

109) '''Waaagh Ironteef and Slayers of Bargorash Win vs. Ser Feucan's Coterie and Kasimir's Kin and Cult of the Abhorred in a Treasure Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties: Ladi the priest)'' A grand battle between the warring factions! Hearing of the recently-unearthed wizard's manor, each of the armies suspected there was more treasure to be found on this unholy ground and sent their warriors to secure it. The foul berserkers of Khorne and the Orcs were quick to forge a pact, driving back the Abhorred and butchering their cultists. Ser Feucan and Kasimir Recknitz made their own tentative alliance and steeled themselves for the onrushing warriors. But despite their valor, neither knight nor Ostlander could hold back the Khornate tide. Much blood was spilled for the Blood God this day! The Ostlanders rallied heroically, striking low one of the berserkers, but the arrival of greenskin reinforcements caused them to rethink their resolve and withdraw. Their bloodlust sated - for the moment - the orcs and berserkers split the riches and left.

110) '''Waaagh Ironteef "Win" vs. Cult of the Abhorred in a Skirmish''' ''(Notable casualties: Rukkel and Lorak)'' Hot on the heels of their victory in the grand melee, the Boyz of Waaagh Ironteef fell upon the Cult of the Abhorred, eager for blood. While their initial forays were promising, with only a few boyz falling to the bows of the cultists, the dark powers of Tzeentch smiled upon his chosen mutants, allowing them a swift escape from the bloody melee. Worse, the wounds of the greenskins festered and boiled over, felling them within hours of their hollow "victory".

111) '''Cult of the Abhorred Win vs. Slayers of Bargorash in Occupy''' ''(Notable casualties: 2 Wolves, Maera, a buncha cultists)''  Khorne was getting tired of Tzeentch's shenanigans in Mordheim.  He drove his warriors in their general direction, hoping to claim some ground from which to strike.  Ever dutiful to the demands of Khorne, Krargon and his pack of warhounds charged the Cult's lines, but soon found that wasn't such a good idea.  Krargon was riddled with arrows and passed out.  Ansemaeus and Bolg followed suit, watching the wolves be felled by the cultist's blades.  Largo was the last, valiantly standing his ground.  When the battle was over, Magister Maera and the majority of her cultists were dead.  Krargon learned the value of not afraiding. And Ansemaeus went berzerk-y-er.

112) '''Waaagh Ironteef Win vs. the Circus of Wonders in a Wyrdstone Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties: Darius the strongman)'' Having heard of the new warband in town, da boyz decided they needed to exert their dominance the old-fashioned way. Interrupting the Circus during their looting of a particularly rich section of town, the orcs sent most of their forces forward while the Warboss and his prize troll lurked in the background, sneaking away with as much loot as they could carry. The diminished warband took some injuries from arrow fire, but laid low the Circus anyway, dispatching the strongman, Darius, in a gruesome display of might.

113) '''The Lady's Blackguard and Zundstoff's Schulerklass win vs. the Circus of Wonders''' A prince had been lost in Mordheim and Zundstoff's Schulerklass determined to save him from the mad Circus that was hunting him down to infect him with terrible diseases. Rather intelligently, the Schulerklass paid for the help of the Lady's Blackhearts, who swiftly extracted the Prince with no casualties. 

114) '''Waaagh Ironteef Win vs. Slayers of Bargorash, Zundstoff's Schulerklasse, and the Lady's Blackguard in a Monster Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties: a hound)'' Rumors of a mysterious hoard of treasure, guarded by a deadly giant chick- er, hippogryph, lured four warbands into the deserted crypts of Mordheim. The Chaos berserkers and orcs raced against a ragtag alliance of Nuln gunners and thieves. The berserker champion, Krargon, leapt ahead of his warriors and slew the disbelieving creature in single combat. Witnessing this incredible display, both the Nuln men and the bandits fled for their lives. However, the orcs, who had spread out to intercept these intruders, had other plans. Spotting the value of the hoard, they decided not to settle for their agreed-upon cut and attacked! The disciples of Khorne were all too eager to retaliate, but in the face of the deadly troll and an unending tide of boyz, Krargon decided to let them have the treasure. His prize would be the blessing of his dark god, earned for spilling the blood of the beast.

115) '''The Lady's Blackguard win vs. The Circus of Wonders in a Skirmish''' Perhaps determined to get revenge for the rescue of the Prince they had desired, the Circus of Wonders began looking for where the Hochland Bandits might be found, determined to give all of the bandits terrible diseases from Nurgle himself. The Circus marched into a plaza menacingly... only to suddenly be met with a hair of arrows and rocks from above, which took down the Circus's leadership, the rest of the Nurglesque worshipers fleeing in a panic from this cunning trap.

116) '''Krargon kills a Dragon'''

117) '''Waaagh Ironteef Win vs. Circus of Wonders in a Hidden Treasure''' ''(Notable casualties: Trollolol the troll)'' Rumors of a hidden treasure drew the orcs of Waaagh Ironteef and the carnies of the Circus of Wonders into a remote part of Mordheim. While the orcs plundered building after building in search of the chest, the carnies drew up in a defensive line, hoping to lure their foes out. Sure enough, the impatient warboss spotted them and ordered the bulk of the force to attack. A gruesome melee broke out, with the orcs striking down the Chaos cultists at every turn, but when the dust settled, the grim trap of the Plague God was made clear - mighty Trollolol had been corrupted with Nurgle's Rot. Sorrowfully, the orcs put down their comrade, and spent the plunder on a replacement in a way that was not creepy at all, no sir.

118) '''Slayers of Bargorash Win vs. Waaagh Ironteef  in a Wyrdstone Hunt''' ''(Notable casualties: Gradok, Korf, Nazgrel, Kronn, Maug)''  It seems fate would continue to be unkind to the Orks.  After recruiting their new Trollolol, they decided to put him to work! Namely, to crump anyone that got in their way.  Today it was the Slayers of Bargorash, warriors of Khorne.  They had been seen hunting for valuable wyrdstone in the Treasury and this would be a perfect time to strike.  The Slayers, however, were prepared for this.  Krargon, Ansemaeus and their pack of wardogs immediately broke from the main group and went howling towards the Orks.  The melee became fierce, the new Trollolol beat his way towards the Chaos cheiftan, attempting to smash his body to pulp.  Ansemaeus, after thrashing some orks, began channeling the power of the LEADERSHEEP, but was rejected as soon as Khorne caught wind of it. He wasn't fond of that particular daemon of his, much too fluffy. Krargon was then sent spiraling to the ground and then impaled by Maug's spear.  The dogs, loyal to their master, tore the ork limb from limb.  Before anyone knew it, all that remained of the orks was the new Trollolol, Dok and Wergzak; everyone else lay dead or dying.  With all the excitement, no one bothered to call a retreat.  This was promptly sounded and the orks escaped.