Editing Sauron (section)

==Damn those pesky kids!==
[[File:Saurons-backup-plan.jpg|thumb|right|Sauron covers all the angles.]]
So, with every Valar, Maiar and everything in-between either back to Valinor or hiding as hard as they could just in case they decided to come back, Sauron was certain it was now his time to shine. Still, after seeing how 'fuck things up' did Morgoth in, he went for the subtle approach. Taking a fair appearance and calling himself ''Annatar'' (Bringer of Gifts), he tried to corrupt the Elves by 'helping' develop their magic. The Elves, however, weren't all complete dumbasses and while they listened to him and eventually started forging Rings of Power like he was showing them (and giving those to the Men and Dwarves to keep up with his [[pretend|new name]]), they didn't trust him. So when he enacted his first [[FAIL|'Super Duper Master Plan to Conquer the World']] and forged a Ring of his own, that was supposed to let him control all the other Rings. [[Not as planned|Except it didn't work!]] The Elves flipped him the bird and hid their Rings, merely having to be very careful when using them lest attracting his attention. The Dwarves too proved resistent to his power and did not fall under his thrall, albeit they became clannish and insular as a result. [[derp|Even with Men it didn't work as intended:]] sure, the nine human kings became the [[Nazgûl]], mightiest of his slaves... but the other humans would never follow them. Queue him flipping his shit, starting a good ole war to conquer everyone forcefully, and everyone uniting against him to kick his ass. Which happenend when the Numenorians (the LotR equivalent of Atlantis) joined the dance.

With his army beaten, Sauron decided to try subtlety again: he surrendered to the Numenorians and started corrupting them from within. Eventually, Sauron convinced them to attack the Valar by sea to steal immortality from them. While this might not sound like much, it is pretty much the equivalent of mortals trying to invase Paradise/the Garden of Eden by force (to keep with the Judeo-Christian parallels). Eru (the LotR equivalent of the Judeo-Christian God) was [[rage|a little miffed by this]], so he intervened directly to destroy the attackers, sink Numenor, force Sauron back to Middle-Earth in tatters; and ultimately completely separate the Undying Lands from Middle-Earth for good measure [[meme|while muttering "get off my lawn!"]]. Do note that Sauron surpassed Morgoth in this, for Eru never intervened directly against him. Yes, God with a capital 'G' had to personally give him the boot (though this is partly because the Valar by this time were very reluctant to intervene at all, having effectively nuked Middle Earth twice already to stop Morgoth); that must count for something on the 'evil villain' scale.

After that highest/lowest point in his career, Sauron, like any true evil villain was then beaten time and time again but he always managed to flee while screaming "I'll be back" over his shoulder. Finally having had enough of subtlety, he tried again to beat everyone to death in his big destroyer form with an army of orcs but thanks to some pesky men and elves, he got his finger with his magic ring (which contained a great deal of his power and life) cut off and as a result became a highly pissed off spirit that kept trying to come back, knowing that if he could get his bling back again he could have another bash at taking over the world.