Editing Battle for Dominus Pillowus (section)

=The Holy Pillow Wars=

[[File:Dominus Pillowus, previously known as Antioch XLII.jpeg|450px|thumb|right|The place where Saints gleam and trees scream! Visit today!]]

On the Imperial Agri-World of Antioch XLII, while a lone guardsman tries to trade some unfortunate sod's rare [[lasgun]] for a limited edition real body-hair Saint Celestine [[weeaboo|bodypillow]] (he suceeds), the commissar of the regiment tries to turn the regiment over to the Tau, after being given the taste of a Water Caste diplomat's [[PROMOTIONS|"Greater Goods"]]. After Xenofucker was found out by an inquisitor LARPing as a priest (with henchmen acting as guardsmen in the Regiment), Xenofucker calls support from his [[Tau]] allies, hoping to elliminate any of those still loyal to the Emperor. Unfortunately for Commissar [[Heresy|Xenofucker]], his Tau buddies soon become corrupted by Chaos after [[FAIL|trying to incorporate the concept of the Greater Good into the local Slaaneshi cult's religion]]. [[Stercus Ludicrum|Hilarity Ensues]]. Now that he is trapped in a three-way civil war between the loyalist Guardsmen, [[Chaos]], and the remaining not [[RIP AND TEAR|murder-rape happy]] Tau and Gue’la, Saint WaifuCommander realises his nickname by rallying the local [[Imperium of Man|Imperial]] forces in a desperate bid [[what|to protect his Body Pillow. It works.]] 

To add to the clusterfuck, Antioch XLII reveals it's true nature as a [[tomb world|Necron tomb world]], as all the fighting on the surface manages to wake up the local [[Necron|Necrons]]. While all this is happening, some [[Eldar]] hear a rumor that Mon'Keigh males have [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|bigger genitals]], which cause great turmoil. This happens because the Craftworld was infected with a Nurglite disease that [[NSFW|gives Eldar an extreme urge to reproduce]], as Nurgle was hoping to make [[Isha]] happy by increasing the Eldar's birth rate. This causes the craftworld to arrive in the sector hoping to acquire some [[PROMOTIONS|sweet mon'keigh penises]] for themselves. As if to add promethium to the burning stake, a Genestealer-infected Craftworld arrives so the first one can hopefully help them out (sadly they are being chased by a hivefleet). Meanwhile, some [[Orks]] hear about a massive scrap happening on a 'umie world, and decide to [[WAAAGH|take a look.]] Realizing the growing scale of this fuckfest, some reasonable sod contacts the [[Deathwatch]] currently on the planet to sort this shit out. The Deathwatch ascertain that out of the xenos currently on the field, the Necrons and Tau are the primary threat and proceed to carry mainly anti-armor equipment. [[FAIL|Not like this would bite them in the ass afterwards...]]

It is about at this time that the first Tyranid forces from the Hivefleet chasing the Genestealer-infested Craftworld started arriving in the system, this fucking up Warp travel. The [[tyranid]] forces then proceed to try and NOM'NOM everything in sight, which causes them to end up fighting Orks. After one of his boyz got beheaded, Mad Dok Guzzgut gets an idea, and proceeds to attach the still screaming head of the poor git onto a nearby tyranid corpse, that then proceeds to charge everything that doesn't look like a Nid or an Ork. Unfortunately for the others involved, [[Honsou|the sick fuck]] get's a taste for this kind of surgery, and proceeds to create some sort of horrifying factory where he and some trained boyz capture and fuse nearby ork and tyranid groups into horrifying abominations that would make a [[Haemonculi]] proud. 

The Chaos Tau on the  craftworld end up darkening the entire dammed thing before turning the craftworld into the flying Daemon Craftworld, which ends up in combat against a Hivefleet. The sight roughly resembles an orgy. Around this time some Dark Eldar fly into orbit and start fapping over the degenerate vorefest between the hivefleet and the Daemon Craftworld.

Somewhere in this clusterfuck a sanctioned psyker rescues a guardsman from thirsty rapeseer.

Commander WaifuCommander ordered Deathstrike Missiles to be fired upon the Daemon Engine Craftworld. The Endurance Dauntless detonates its Warp Drives in the Craftworld as it’s sucked in. This blows up the Daemon Engine Craftworld, resulting in a Craftworld only infested with Daemons (rather than completely consumed by them).

Xenofucker tries to BLAM WaifuCommander, who protects the pillow with his life. For this, Macharius ascends him to sainthood for shits and giggles. Now he is SAINT WaifuCommander. However, commissar Xenofucker manages to cum into the pillow, resulting in his ascension to Daemonhood. Antioch XLII becomes a Daemon World. Celestine, Celestein and WaifuCommander chase him into the core of the planet where an Aeonic Orb sits. Predictably it explodes, killing only the daemons and most of the xenos.

Saint Waifufag and the Imperial Forces, along with the splitered Eldar get teleported to the nearby moon of Uxor II due to a moment of clarity from Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker. Saint Waifufag ends up rallying the Imperial Forces and Eldar and build up the planet as a Death-Shrineworld.

There are some minor skirmishes on the planet between two Necron Lords, some orks, the Xeno Hunting Inquisitor, Saint Celestein and some of the Sororitas present on the planet, this soon leads to the Necron Catacombs being annihilated by an Ork Rokkit-Trukk.

Penicillus and the unnamed Ultramarine rob an Ork Freeboota Kaptin of his Queen music just as the space hulk warps away.