Editing Carlos McConnell (section)

== Facts ==
* Carlos McConnell! He never hired a catgirl onto his ship that he hadn’t slept with! And he had a full crew!
* Carlos McConnell - he would fight the foulest of xeno lifeforms with a cape and sword - for fun! Then, no matter how toxic they were, he'd turn their innards into haggis and eat it!
* Carlos McConnell - enforced bisexuality on his ship!
* Carlos McConnell - started catgirl orgies with but a stern word!
* Carlos McConnell - caber toss'd trees at Orks!
* Carlos McConnell - made a mean burrito! 
* Carlos McConnell - had the greatest moustache in history! (And sideburns to match)
* Carlos McConnell - is the ultimate chad!
* [[Amberley Vail]] probably read about McConnell somewhere and bestowed the title of Most Interesting Man in the Imperium upon him, leading to his running rivalry with [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]].
* Amberley Vail is in love with him. In all those unspoken of sex scenes with Cain she made him wear a kilt and a sombrero. (Carlos actually met her after a freak webway accident left him adrift in time. Cain might have swag but even he couldn't compete after Carlos saved her by winning a three way sword fight between him, [[Asdrubael Vect]] and [[Trazyn the Infinite]]. Luckily for Cain's reputation the Inquisition redacted all evidence of the event but he knows what REALLY happened.)
* Carlos had a staring contest with the [[Eye of Terror]] once. He won.
* That Slaaneshi daemon that haunts Cain? It's the one Carlos defeated. She also makes Cain wear a kilt.
* He fucked something other than a catgirl once, just to see what it was like
* He found his way out of [[Tzeentch]]’s Maze. By accident.
* One time he happened upon a group of [[Jokaero]]. Two days later he had created a device they could not understand.
* He once managed to convince a [[Water Caste]] diplomat to join the Imperium. By fucking her of course.
* It has been said that he once out-partied Slaanesh.
* It has been told that he vacations on [[Catachan]] because he finds it relaxing.
* And he goes to [[Cadia]] when he’s looking to wind down.
* “A guardsman once told me that he raised his voice to a charging Warboss. The entire [[Ork]] fleet packed up and left.”
* He smokes lho from a pipe made from a carved [[Genestealer]] talon.
* Some say that the Emperor himself inscribed the purity seals he wears upon his person.
* Some say he carries his charter of trade in his sporran, and uses it to buy drinks when he's asked for ID.
*Carlos McConnell is [[Sly Marbo]]. 
* Others claim he does not have a written charter; rather he carries a vox recording of the Emperor's decree for him to do whatever he feels.
* The Inquisition often questions him, just because they find him interesting.
* Power gauntlets have yet to replicate the strength of his hands.
* It was once found that he had taken a [[Tau]] lover. Charges of heresy were never made.
* Some say he finds a hobby in [[Tyranid]] steeplechase, riding a [[Mawloc]] over fences and occasionally eating other jockeys.
* One day he sat down with an [[Ogryn]] and set out to teach the beast to speak properly. That Ogryn is now one of the best orators in the Imperium.
* Some say he is always asked to proofread the new editions of the [[Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer]] before publication.
* Carlos Mconnell is really good at naming things!
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnapb-30hA Here] is a video featuring some of his exploits, operating under a pseudonym, of course.
* Has 4 Ork Children living in Majorka.

[[Category:/tg/ 40,000]]