Editing Tiny Hammer (section)

==BlakeLock==

Here's my story, probably not remembered since it was posted late, in an unarchived topic. Enjoy.

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It was 7 AM, Saturday, so why was I awake? I had nothing to do that day, and I had been up not four hours ago, I should be asleep right now. And what the hell is that tapping on my arm?

Wait a sec, what?

I opened my eyes, trying to find the source. Darting from one spot to another, my eyes saw nothing around me. I was in my room, TV was on low, I think some talk show was on, and the computer was on, showing some Wikipedia article on tanks.

"Wait a moment, I wasn't looking at that last night..!" The tapping continued, feeling more and more like a poke through the sweater I had fallen asleep in. I jumped out of bed, and that's when I saw it.

It was an alien-looking insect..type...thing. Hell if I knew, I just knew that it was alive, on me, and trying to stab me in my sleep. Almost instinctively, I grabbed a book off of my desk and as I was about to slam downwards, I heard what seemed to be warcries, and the bug was torn to bits by...laser pointers? It was splattering ichor all over my carpet, but I'd have to deal with it later. I heard one of the voices shout "Now! Basilisks, fire at the giant! FOR THE EMPEROR!"

I heard the word "fire", and jumped back onto the bed, my face going into the pillow. Just in time, it seemed, as the next moment I heard the thump of something hard hitting the wall. I kind of didn't want to get up...

"You missed! Ready another salvo! Guardsmen, March forward!"

Goddamnit, today was going to be a long day, I could tell. I raised my head, and glanced at the wall. Slightly dented, quite blackened. Whatever a basilisk was, it must fire something akin to artillery rounds.

O got up, and rolled off of my bed, to the side the...whatever the hell they were weren't firing from. I heard a splat, and it felt like I had rolled onto a small rock. I looked up, and saw a bunch of green-skinned, gorilla looking humanoids stepping back, looking terrified.

"Oy! Da big 'umie dun squashed Da Boss!" One of the bigger ones had noticed a few seconds after the others, and jumped backward. I looked under me, and saw a larger greenskin, crushed. He kept mumbling something, I wasn't paying attention to him. I rolled over to my (somehow now open) door, and stood up, brushing the squashed greenskins off of me. I was pissed, being woken up like this. So naturally, I yelled.

"Alright, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?" everything stopped, that I could see. The greenskins following me looked up, almost frozen, and the small soldiers, probably the "Guard" that had taken out that bug-thing stopped and turned around. I saw what looked like miniature tanks turn stop, their crews climbing out to get a better look. Some things with Cone-shaped heads peeked out at me from the top of my shelves, from around the scaled robots I collect. I continued.

"Well?! And dammit, everyone here, front and center! Now, before I start breaking things!" To emphasize things, I grabbed the baseball bat I had by the door, smacking it against my palm. It helped to wake me up.

Oddly enough, the things started to follow my orders. Tanks, greenskins, soldiers, and a hell of a lot of stuff I'd not seen yet. Box shaped armored troopers and...robots? Small things with huge shoulder armor, things that looked like the heavy-shoulders but in multicolor? I looked up, and the Cone-heads peeked out as well. A few of the bugs looked up, coming from behind my dresser.

God DAMN, this was going to be a long day.

There was an air of relative silence, like I said before. But it wasn't enough. I wanted answers, and dammit, I wanted them now. I scanned the Guardsmen, and found the one with the most impressive looking hat. That signifies a higher rank in most fiction, I hoped it would work here as well. I reached down, picked up the guy, and put him in my hand. I grabbed one of the Blue Big-Shoulders, one with the Egyptian-looking helmet, and one of the blocky robot suits as well. As they rose up, I heard the hat-man mutter something about heretics and "filthy xenos scum". I raised my hand up near my face, and spoke.

"You three look like you know something. Start talking fast, or so help me I will show you what happens when a baseball bat hits a tiny thing falling from high up." My grip on the bat tightened, I wasn't bluffing. The hat-man cowered, and the robot started waving it's arms around. The Big-Shoulder put a hand on his helmet, and...spoke, I guess? It sounded like a faraway echo.

"Ah yes....Blake, is it? We've been waiting to speak with you. What is it exactly that you wish to know...?"

The thing knew my name. How the HELL did it know my name, and why was it so goddamn calm!?

"Okay, first things first. Who are you guys, and how do you know my name?" I looked at the three, then glanced at the things on the floor, and on top of the shelves. The Coneheads were fighting spikier versions of themselves, and it looked like the Guardsmen and the Orks had started fighting. I held up the bat, and hit one of the tanks. It crumpled. That got the fighting to stop, for the moment.

I turned back to the three in my hand, and the big-shoulder spoke just as calmly as before.

"We are many different things. I myself am a Chaos Space Marine, one of the Thousand Suns who worship the great Tzeentch. My name is Erial, and it's quite nice to meet you. The coward to my right is a Commissar of the Imperial Guard, whom I plan on killing soon. The worried creature to my left is not a robot, but a Tau Battlesuit Pilot. Congratulations on picking up the leader of that squad, how did you know the leader would have red on it?" This Erial guy was too calm for my tastes. But, he was giving me answers, and that was good enough. Somehow sensing what I was about to say, he continued.

"I know who you are because I am a psyker - a psychic, if you will. I have passed on this knowledge to my allies, but I'm positive the Eldar and Dark Eldar on your shelf have done the same. The Dark Eldar are the spiky ones, by the way."

Great, now I find out that they're psychics.

"Okay, now how about where you came from, and what you're doing here?" More fighting in the crowd. This time, I brought the bat down in a group of greenskins-no, "Orks", as Erial told me. Wait, was that just- Yes, that was just telepathy. Erial is talking to me in my head. Goddamn. Regardless, the Orks scattered, and the fighting stopped once more.

It appeared that seeing a bunch of Orks get squashed was enough to get the Commissar talking again, and he straightened his hat.

"I'll talk now, if you will. We, are from many planets. In the 41st millennium, there is much war between our factions, but somehow, all of us ended up on one planet. We found each other, and began a battle the likes of which we had never seen." Erial told me via telepathy that this battle consisted mainly of the Tyranids-the bugs, eating things and Guardsmen being killed. The Commissar continued.

"It seems that the massive number of psykers using their powers at once tore a hole in the Warp, casting us to this world, and if I'm correct, made us very tiny. We ended up here, no idea why."

"So you're all a bunch of space soldiers turned tiny and teleported here via massive amounts of magic. Grand." I set the three down, and hit the floor with my bat. That got their attention pretty quickly.

"Alright, all of you listen! You're here in my house, so you're going to follow my rules, or get hit by a bigger bat. My rules are simple. First, STOP FIGHTING. Second, get OUT of my room - that means you too, Eldar and whoever's messing with my computer! Third, the Largest and Second Largest rooms in the house are neutral zones, nobody is to set up camp there. Fourth, follow any future rules I make. Any questions?" An Ork spoke up, it looked like the one I squashed earlier.

"Yea! Who does you think you are, ya damn grot!? I'z da Boss, I'z the biggest!" I wasn't going to have this shit. Not now. Not today. I picked the Ork up, and brought him close to my face. I screamed.

"I'M THE BOSS, SINCE I'M SO BIGGEST I SHIT OUT ROBOTS." I pointed the bat to the shelves. They were scale models, yes, but hell if they weren't massive compared to him. The Ork was blown back, but I caught him and set him down gently. He looked up at me, terrified.

"N-No! I'z da B-boss, ya damn 'umie! You'z not nearly as O-orky as I is!" I paused. Here was the Ork Leader, yelling at me, trying to assert his dominance over me, in my own house.

I brought down the bat directly on top of him. The crunch he made was...satisfying. "Well? Anyone else want to say anything?"

All the troops dashed out of my room. Some flew, some rode tanks and bikes, some of the Orks jumped on other factions vehicles to get faster rides out.

I closed the door and locked it once they all left, and got in bed. It was going to be a long day, but I was going to need some sleep first.