Editing Fire and Fury (section)

===Tyranid Victory===
“WELL THAT COULD HAVE GONE FUCKING BETTER!!!” Screamed Tweedle Dick as he fired two storm bolters down a corridor at a swarm of Tyranid warriors, rupturing open their carapaces like ripe cherries “AND WHERES THE FUCKING STORM BIRD?!!! IM ALMOST OF OF FUCKING BUG SPRAY!!!” Tweedle Cunt, only 5 metres away, didn’t reply, as he was too busy punching his way out of the throat of a Mawloc that had been impolite enough to burrow it’s way into the tunnel Tweedle Dick and Cubt had been making a tactical retreat down. “SHUT YOUR WINING CUNT HOWS YOU BASTARDS!!!” Came Sargeant in Charge of Boring Shite over the Vox “IM FIVE FUCKING MINUTES FROM YOUR POSITION YOU PUSSIES!!! JUST MAKE SURE YOUR AT THE FUCKING LANDING PAD OR ELSE ILL LEAVE YOUR SORRY DICKS FOR THE HYDRAPHANT!!!”

“I STILL SAY WE JUST PUNCH ALL THE FUCKERS UNTIL THERES NO MORE FUCKERS LEFT!!!” Replied Cunt as he finally ripped his way out of the Mawloc’s throat, dragging Equal Opportunity Genital Muncher the Honey Badger out behind him, the Mawloc’s massive heart clamped in its jaws. “JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN EXTRA FUCKING POINT OF STRENGTH DOESN'T MEAN YOUR THE CUNT IN CHARGE!!!” Replied Dick, yanking Equal Opportunity from Cunt’s grip and tossing the honey badger at a Linnorm’s head which had just tunnelled in directly above them, which promptly disappeared in an explosion of cartilage and teeth. Cunt was about to push the point further by smacking Dick on the back of the head, when a deafening roar cam from back the way they had fled. “FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!” Shouted the two marines in unison, they’d been chased by the Magma Corer ever since the star port had been lost, swamping wherever they had trodden with molten rock. And sure enough, back down the passage an orange glow appeared, throwing the horde of tyrants warriors scuttling across all surfaces into sharp relief as they sought out their prey.

Boring Shite had his own problems as he listened to his commanding officers swear nonstop over the vox. He had his own problems in the form of the Hydraphant a mile away taking pot shots at his thunder bird, and in the shape of swarms of Harpies, each one swooping by to drop another char mine into his path. “FASTER YOU HUNK OF SHITE!!!” He screamed, hunched over his controls like a psychotic child at an arcade booth, a sizzling whole in the hull taking the spot where his copilot used to be. If he survived this stunt, he vowed to himself as the landing pad, two yellow marines and a small, fluffy creature came into site, he would leave the angry marines and go back to the administratum, even if he had to give up setting stuff on fire. But even as he watched, Tyranids began swarming out of the surrounding buildings, a hulking tide of talons and flame as the Tyranids of who brought Yggdrasil to ashes cane to incinerate the last of the Angry Marines. “FUCK!!!” Whispered the marines in awe as the flaming tide rolled in towards the last clear space on the planet, “I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING LAND!!!”

“FUCK!!!” Shouted Dick and Cunt on the ground, as they stared at the rapidily approaching Storm Bird, “HES NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING LAND!!!” At once the marines started running away from the incoming aircraft, trying to put on enough speed so that they didn’t loose their arms when they grabbed onto the storm bird, the incoming tide of flame and teeth getting closer and closer, even the roar of the approaching magma corer becoming muffled when compared to the torrent of sound coming off Tyranid horde... not finished.


The Norn Queen sensed the angry marine ship leaving the planets orbit for deep space. It would let them run. Partially because it’s capillary towers hadn’t yet finished pumping enough natter into orbit to construct a space worthy vessel to chase them down, but mostly because it had no need to. The planet, was theirs. Why waste effort hunting down a single, defeated vessel? When it could wait a while and... what was the word the humans used for that feeling? It thought. Smug. That’s what it was. The norn queen was smug. It had had its first battle as a single entity and won. And now, the galaxy lay before it.

That’s it, you little, angry men.

Run.

Fucking run while you can.