Editing Commorragh (section)

== A Tour Guide of Commorragh ==

[[File:Commorragh_Better.jpg|thumb|400px|The skyline of Commorragh. Can--and will--be viewed from any angle.|right]]

If you're not a Dark Eldar, Harlequin, or a badass mercenary, Commorragh can be difficult to get around in (if not outright impossible). It's a city that destroys the weak, take from the stupid, torments the slow, and kills the innocent. Of course, all the previous four will die with a whimper and with no dignity intact, it just varies on how and when. Despite popular theory, non-Eldar can prosper in Commorragh, since there are several parts where aliens live in towns and the most fearsome can be recruited into Dark Eldar Kabals. In particular, it's not unknown for Orks to be wildly successful in the fighting rings only to give their masters a good crumping and go free agent.

A list of tips for newcomers.

* Head to the district called 'Null City' and become a badass alien mercenary (humans are aliens to Dark Eldar).
* Do. not. fuck. with. [[Asdrubael Vect]].
* NO PSYKERS ALLOWED, EVER!!! (and that goes triple for anything that reeks of daemonic)

Otherwise.

* You were most likely brought back so Dark Eldar could feed off your pain so Slaanesh won't eat their souls/ sacrificed to Slaanesh in their place.
* You may have been brought back to be a [[Haemonculus|Haemonculi's]] guinea pig, snack, pet, a diversion so they won't get bored (which still involves unspeakable torture) or all of the above.
* You may be sent to the gladiator arenas of Commorragh to fight for your life against Wyches, dangerous beasts ranging from Razorwing flocks to captured Carnifexes, or both at the same time. This will last until you die.
* You can be killed simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time (or even if you went where you're supposed to go).
* If you're a slave, you're expendable currency.
* If you stare at [[Scourges]] for too long, they will fly down, pick you up and impale you on a spire.
* Don't feed the Scourges, they're not pigeons, if you do expect things to end up like Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds!
* There's no night or day, just the dull, baleful glow of stolen stars. It also has many areas where light never reaches (Dark Eldar adapted by developing natural night vision).
* In the shadows you can encounter Mandrakes, who will kill, torture, rape and/or eat you.
* The unnatural geometry of Commmoragh can be extremely disorienting for visitors.
* That banging noise near Khaine's Gate isn't [[Skarbrand]] and his daemonic hordes (see [[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device]]) it's absolutely nothing at all. NOTHING-AT-ALL!
* Commoragh could be called a "tourist trap" in the most literal sense of the word, as anyone who tours Commoragh will end up trapped in an arena or Haemonculus lab and end up as a meat puppet for some demented Haemonculus who thinks you'd look better with snake skin and swords for arms and legs!
* Commoragh has free healthcare, just see Dr Haemonculus for the slightest cough.
* [[Reaver Jetbike]]s and [[Hellions]] HATE each other and they hate you too, but while it's likely that the reavers would run you down for fun, the hellions aren't as sadistic, they'd give you a head start first! If you're being chased by one group of fliers, flee towards more fliers and then escape in the ensuing air battle.
* Don't go out alone... unless you're [[batman|stupid powerful]], in which case going alone is always the best choice. Basically you have to balance being threatening enough to deter casual interest, without looking like you're out to fight a small war (because someone will take you up on it).


[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Eldar]]

[[Category: Dark Eldar]]

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