Editing Lamentations of the Flame Princess (section)

==Adventures==

Because of the generous business terms, LotFP has a huge "stable" of authors. About half the adventures are written by Raggi himself. These share some consistent themes, which you'll see in a moment. The rest are put up by a rotating rogues' gallery of guest authors; they're where a lot of the more creative work gets done.

==="Adventures" written by James Raggi===
* '''[[Better Than Any Man]]''': A group of adventurers is sent to a town during the Thirty Years' War to root out rumors of witchcraft before Gustavus Adolphus burns the place to the ground.  A cabal of women have taken over with the aid of monsters from beyond space and time. They probably die, and a level 17 Magic-User gets killed by Swedes. Better than most of his other work, by virtue of being pretty good at historical horror and weirdness, and also given away for free. 
* '''[[Death Frost Doom]]''': A group of adventurers ventures into a disbanded cult's ancient stronghold.  They probably die and/or cause a massive zombie apocalypse.  (Or leave, there's nothing really keeping them there until they've passed so many red flags that even the most genre blind of PCs will get the hint).  Includes a bonus mini-adventure involving a tower that is ''also'' a seemingly-fun dungeon that is also a big trap full of Bad Things. Later got a rewrite by Zak Smith in collaboration with Raggi that tries to close various loopholes with mixed success.
* '''[[Death Love Doom]]''': A group of adventurers investigates the estate of a wealthy family which has recently gone missing.  What follows can best be summed up as Raggi's performance of the Aristocrats routine.  They probably leave in disgust, or die.  Solving the problem is impossible, as the entirety of the plot has already happened offscreen when the PCs show up, keeping it from happening again requires real-world psionics.
* '''[[Fuck For Satan]]''': A purposely-generic adventure to save some missing kids is derailed by an unrelated, bizarre dungeon full of traps and monsters that are either silly (a trap that forces you to void your bowels, then fight your own turds, a literal dick monster) or just lethal screw yous (doorknobs that inflict permanent stat drain, no saving throw, a monster that rages about content in previous LotFP modules).  They probably die, but if they actually do ignore the bait and stay out of the dungeon, an astral being that hates the DM as much as the DM hates the players gives them power over him.  They will probably then encounter a second unrelated, bizarre cult involving gay orgies and a second literal dick monster (who is just as confused about what's going on as the players probably are). The kids were actually eaten by a bear, which has a 1/10 chance of showing up each day but is otherwise not probably found by actual player action.  Funny, if juvenile and meta.
* '''[[The God That Crawls]]''': A group of adventurers is kidnapped and thrown into a maze full of forbidden artifacts and a deadly monster for reasons that may not make sense.  They probably die.  Explicitly for "breaking" groups that feel like they can deal with any monster the game throws at them. See the gallery for a pretty typical run-through.
* '''[[No Salvation For Witches]]''': Some assholes are trying to remake the world under a magical dome of plot bullshit. Also, the Thing is wandering around and a lot of people are dying horribly. The party gets involved, and they probably die.  Treasures include the local abbot's [[Promotions|porn stash]] and a magical dildo you can steal from a horribly-deformed child bride. Look in the wrong peephole and you call the Tyranids. 
* '''[[Green Devil Face #1]]''': A group of adventurers are recruited to battle thinly veiled versions of people the author doesn't like.  They probably die. Pointlessly.
* '''The Grinding Gear''': A love letter to ''[[Tomb of Horrors]]'' and a relatively lighthearted module after the never ending line of gloomy GM dickery.  Note that we just described a ''Tomb of Horrors''-alike as a lighthearted break from GM dickery.
* '''[[The Monolith From Beyond Space and Time]]''': A group of adventurers gets word of a bizarre structure in a secluded valley that warps reality around itself.  They'll definitely be very confused and probably wish they were dead by the time they get there.  By the time they leave, at least one of them will almost certainly be worse than dead, and the rest will be even more confused.  And if they try to wander off partway, terrible things happen to ''force'' them to come back.  
* '''[[Tower of the Stargazer]]''': A group of adventurers tries to get into a paranoid wizard's tower.  They probably die or leave empty handed just as the adventure is beginning.
* '''Vaginas are Magic / Eldritch Cock''': Raggi attempts to make a new magic system composed entirely of metal song titles and fucked-up miscast results. There are a couple decent spells tucked in amongst the silliness and edge.
* '''[[Tales of the Scarecrow]]''': The party gets trapped in a cornfield, and the player that comes up with the best/most deadly finale for the adventure wins XP. Which they will promptly lose because trying to leave wakes up the unkillable tentacle monster under the house, just as said deadly finale comes true, meaning, you guessed it, they probably die.
* '''[[Going Through Forbidden Underworlds]]''': Basically the plot of Doom save that it takes place in a tiny 7-room deathtrap. Theoretically allows you to plane-jump. It just isn't safe, controllable, or particularly interesting. Bonus points for being a paid print product, yet having less content than any of the ''free'' <s>Kickstarter</s> IndieGoGo bonus adventures.
* '''[[Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book]]''': Supposed to be a "RPG version of the Hateful Eight". In actuality, it's about how Raggi is sad that he had to stop dealing with Zak Smith after the latter was accused of major abuse. It features an NPC incidentally named Zachary who is so totally innocent of everything, and the accusers are the bad people, no really you guys. The original (printed) version ends with a editorial/rant where Raggi tells about his sympathy with Zak since he (Raggi) has also been accused of physical abuse by two women. Eh, Raggi, using ''that'' as an argument might not have ''quite'' the intended effect. Also there's something about how not buying a book because you don't like the author as a person is censorship. The later PDF versions don't have this editorial.

===LotFP-Published Adventures by Other Authors===
Most of these have small house-rules supplements in the back, system tweaks, and other bonus content.

* '''[[Adventure anthology Death]]''':
* '''[[Adventure anthology Fire]]''':
* '''[[Blood in the Chocolate]]''': Kiel Cheiner mixes Willy Wonka and his [[Magical Realm]]. [[FATAL|Which is apparently midgets gang-raping fat lesbians in knife wounds]]. Has potential as an industrial black comedy/horror factorycrawl if you strip out the LotFP. Was disowned by the author in 2020, and removed from publication a year later when the rights reverted back to him.
* '''[[Towers Two]]''': Originally a fairly straightforward module where two wizards are duelling with their bands of pretty-boy soldiers and pig-faced orcs, with the "twist" that both of them are evil. Notable for being half-written by the frontman of GWAR, then taken over and made vastly grosser by a fanboy after his death. Includes "death-fuck" magic.
* '''[[Forgive Us]]''': Tight, brutal little pastiche of ''Aliens'' and/or ''The Thing'' by way of [[Warhammer Fantasy]]. Cultists find a Nurgle idol, possession and [[/d/|tentacles]] ensue. Set in the real world, but easily converted to WHFRP or whatever else. The treasure room has some neat mechanics.
* '''[[England Upturn'd]]''': Odin is fucking with the English Civil War, Evil Prince John is a liche trying to take over his idiot descendants, and the drow want him back to torture him forever. Has a fairly cool take on the alignment system based on religion and politics, though the execution is lacking.
* '''[[Isle of the Unknown]]''': An astonishingly-generic hexcrawl, which is put together almost entirely with random generators. The Zodiac wizards are the only really interesting thing in it.
* '''[[Scenic Dunnsmouth]]''': One of the best things to come out of the entire mess that is LotFP. Uses a dice-drop to create a map, then uses the values of the dice to generate a quick metaplot and set the power levels/treasure of various set NPCs. A quick playing card deal assigns the rotating cast of NPCs from 56 available households/characters. Then you just have to steal the Time Cube from Schrodinger's Spider-Cult while dodging an insane serial killer. It's like the card-generated plot from the original [[I6: Ravenloft]] module, or the [[Curse of Strahd| modern re-interpretation]] on steroids.
* '''[[Deep Carbon Observatory]]''': One of the other great things to come out of LotFP. A 2-part short hex crawl with one small and one large dungeon to explore, centered around an ancient dam that breaks a hour before the party arrives and the chaos that follows from the flood. The writing is sometimes vague and flowery, but the copious amounts of art give a great feel for the setting, even if you have to fill in some of the gaps. Has a giant platypus, a poison that makes your wizard dyslexic, dinosaur hieroglyphics and pit trap bureaucrats with yellowed skulls.
* '''[[Broodmother Sky Fortress]]''': Giant evil shark-elephants drop out of the sky and attempt to blow up your campaign setting. The players are encouraged to steal their ship.  Tries to be full of 90's 'tude, just comes across as a bit desperate. Does provide a lot of alternative rules in case you don't want shark-elephant aliens but still want the crazy ass adventure over all.
* '''[[The Cursed Chateau]]''': Haunted house adventure. A jaded demon-worshiping mage traps you in his funhouse and wants you to amuse him. Very much the Hammer Horror counterpart of Castle Amber.
* '''[[The Punchline]]''':
*'''[[Thulian Echoes]]''': When Titus sacked Jerusalem (A.D. 70), he made off with a load of silver. The players go on a classic dungeon dive to get it. The twist is they are working off the notes of a failed party of adventurers, so the game starts with the players running the dungeon with a set of premade characters, with their actions providing information to the "real" characters about the dungeon's traps and hazards, which is objectively a remarkable clever idea that's nonetheless rage-inducing, since it has to be associated with ''Lamentations of the Flame Princess''.
* '''[[Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess]]''': Halflings and an evil [[My Little Pony| Pony Prince]] imprison the party on a demiplane of diabetes-fuelled horror. If you're lucky, you can make wishes that the DM will then fuck you over on!