Editing Tau Diplomacy (section)

== Beyond 40k ==


'''''Water Caste''''': Ancient race of the cosmos beyond, we, the Tau, would be honored if you—YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!<br>
'''''[[Doctor Who|Dalek]]''''': EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!


'''''Water Caste''''': The Tau would gladly welcome an empire of Gue'vesa who are open to peaceful talks rather than mindless violence.<br>
'''''[[Star Wars RPG|Galactic Empire]]''''': You have precisely three seconds to identify before our ships will open fire!<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': Oh! W-we are an Empire of peac-{{Blam}}<br>
'''''Galactic Empire''''': Whoops, looks like my watch is fast.<br>
''(Alternatively)''<br>
'''''Emperor Palpatine''''': Yes....the force is weak in this one...<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': It would be greatly appreciated if you could inform us what the "Force" is, most honored highne-*Force lightning*-DAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!<br>
'''''Emperor Palpatine''''': You have paid the price for your lack of vision!


'''''Water Caste''''': Hello, oh great cyborgs from outside our galaxy. Feel free to enter our space, and prepare to be boarded so that we may negotiate. <br>
'''''Borg''''': We Are The Borg! Lower your Shields and surrender your ships. We will add your technological and biological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance, is futile.<br>
'''''Water Caste''''' We mean only peace, not harm, new fr...AAAAGH THEY ARE ON OUR SHIP!*Assimiltaion intensifies* ITS ASSIMILATING ME! HE... We are Borg. Resistance is futile. 


'''''Water Caste''''': Oh, the great noble Covenant, would you like to merge our coalition of Aliens together, in order to make a even stronger emp-<br>
'''''[[Halo|Covenant]]''''': Wort, Wort, Wort!<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': Well we will really appreciate if you can speak norm-ARLGRARARAL!<br>
'''''Covenant''''': Glarble, Glarble, Glarble!<br> 
''(Alternatively)''<br>
'''''Prophet of Truth''''': Nay! We are the true Alien hegemony! Besides your leaders seem to have stolen our designs of the Grav-Throne and Prophet's Robes. We demand payment for copyright infringement.<br> 
'''''Water Caste''''': But most noble prophet, I am afraid to say that we were the ones who came up with the idea of the space pope.<br> 
'''''Prophet of Truth''''': Nay that is HERESY! What you say is HERESY! Men! Prepare the Energy Projectors!<br> 
'''''Water Caste''''': Okay okay okay! You guys are the true alien hegemony and you invented the concept of the flying space pope. Can we please have a trade deal? Pretty please?<br> 
'''''Prophet of Truth''''': It seems like your quick thinking has saved your people from your own insolence. I will check and see about this...trade agreement with my fellow high prophets....


'''''Water Caste''''': Ah, my peculiar clothed Gue'la! We are most pleased to see our overtures to meet you in this town were well received. <br>
'''''[[Fallout|Vulpes Inculta]]''''': Indeed, they were. We in the name of Great Caesar wish to offer you all the hospitality we can. <br>
'''''Water Caste''''': Ah, the Thermic Lance we talked about before! It is a splendid weapon your fellow... <br>
'''''Vulpes Invulta''''': Frumentarii, that is their rank. I assure you it's a weapon that can address your short range...deficiencies. Would you like a demonstration? <br>
'''''Water Caste''''': *hands clasp* That would be wonderful! Before we begin, I wish to ask...what are these cross shaped poles you've erected? <br>
'''''Vulpes Inculta''''': Those poles? That's part of how we show our hospitality later, my dear... <br>


'''''Water Caste''''': Ah, a sentient, advanced, artificial intelligence from ages past! Elder one, have you and yours a name by which we Tau may call you? <br>
'''''[[Bioware|Reaper]]''''': '''WE ARE BEYOND YOUR LIMITED COMPREHENSION. WE ARE PEACE THROUGH DESTRUCTION. AND YOU ARE ASHES TO BE GATHERED AT THIS END OF A GALACTIC CYCLE.''' ''*bbzzzzzzrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnn*''<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': We must unite or be destroyed.<br>
''Alternatively''<br>
'''''[[Bioware|Reaper]]''''': YOUR PEOPLE SHOULD BOARD OUR STRUCTURES FOR PEACE TALKS.<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': Very well, but I warn you do not trick us.<br>
(later on board the Reaper)<br>
'''''Water Caste''''': Alright, we wish to discuss the cessation of hostilities and forge a lasting peace...<br>
'''''[[Bioware|Reaper]]''''' (starts indoctrinating the Tau): ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!<br>
''Alternatively''<br>
<p>''*Piiiiiiiii...* *A bombardment rains from orbit smashing the Reaper.*''<br>
'''''[[El'Myamoto (Sub-commander Darkstrider)|El'Myamoto]]''''': Phew, that was a close one. Now I must go, Water Caste.'</p>
<p>''Or, most likely''<br>
''Thousands of Reapers lay shattered in orbit, and on the planet's surface, flames of an Exterminatus dying down.''<br>
'''Water Caste''': Huh... they were not as threatening as first expected. Regardless, thank you for your help, gue'la. However, you did not need to purge the planet, I assure you we had it under control.<br>
'''Inquisitor''': You know what they say! 'Suffer not the alien to live', haha... Besides, I've been waiting to use that Cyclonic Torpedo for months now! The stockpile we have was really causing my Exterminatus hand to act up... actually, now that I mention it...<br>
'''Water Caste''': ...huh? WAIT OH NO-AAUUUUGGH<br>
''boom''</p>

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Tau]]