Editing The Tales of the Emperasque: Part Two (section)

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The Harlequins of the Eldar tell tales of a pocket of the Webway where the walls grow thin, and the Old Ones and the Slann did not make the wards properly. The realms of Tzeench exist beyond them, where the Webtunnels bend and twist impossibly, and time is not as it should be. For at the outer edges of the galaxy, the Webway and the Immaterium do not cross, and the grasp of Chaos grows faint, for there are no living things beyond the galaxy save the Outsider and the Tyranids, who are hardly on speaking terms with the Dark Gods.

But in the center of the galaxy, where Tzeench once ruled all Chaos before he was thrown down by the other three, the Warp is present and strong; the Webway tunnels that were built in the primordial times stray dangerously close to the Warp, there are places where time halts, or flows backward, and nothing is as it should be. Some Solitaires seek this place with a morbid desperation, trying to find these chronovortices to fling themselves back in time and prevent the Fall.

The denizens of Commorragh avoid these places with terror, sensing the Thirst grow deeper in their proximity to the Warp, and even what few Slann remain do not remember it.

It is in these dark places of the Webway where Jaghatai Khan found himself eternally, lost and alone, chasing the Dark Eldar who had so skillfully eluded him. All time and logic had left this realm, and a single step could take a lifetime.

He didn’t even bother keeping track of time, for he knew it to be pointless. All he could do was wander, and hope he wasn’t going backwards. 

Then, one day, something changed.

As Jaghatai retraced his steps for what could very well have been the millionth time, he felt something. Not in the endless tunnels of the Webway, but beyond, in the mad realm of Chaos. The eternally twisting patterns of entropy and creation splint and bent aside, allowing something to pass by. Jaghatai stopped and stared, horrified and awed. What could be powerful enough to bend the Warp so much it could alter time itself? He snapped out of his shock, and bolted for the nearest side-tunnel, one too far away to reach while trapped in the chronovortex. Just as the being passed his position, he could almost hear the creature, which seemed to be talking to itself, but words eluded him.

As the creature passed, he could feel the tug of time at his mind, pulling him back into the chronovortex. He screamed in frustration and doubled his effort, sprinting for the edge of the tunnel. With a massive, final effort, he leapt through, as the creature, whatever it was, passed by completely. He lay on the floor of the infinite tunnel, panting roughly, before clutching his arms to his sides and laughing, tears of relief streaming down his face. Finally, he was free! Now…how to escape fully?

Two dimensions and ten to the seventeenth meters away, Slaanesh was having the day of his life. For over ten thousand years, he had been feasting on the souls of the Eldar, and the infinite pleasures of the Immaterium were his to share. Surely, his oldest foe, the one who had escaped his birth, would delight in their bounty together?

Slaanesh was wise enough to know that he could never properly entertain Eldrad Ultran in his own palace, not if he was to enjoy this fully. So, he had had his dearest, closest Princelings drag the gibbering Eldar to the Pit of Lust, for their mutual enjoyment. Eldrad had realized what was happening in the disastrous Battle of the Blackstone, naturally, and had used his power to clip his own optic nerve cleanly in two in his last moments before being dragged screaming into the Warp. It irritated Slaanesh just a bit that Eldrad wanted to avoid his gifts so much, but it couldn’t be helped.

Slaanesh’s many sensuous claws ripped the mask off the Eldar’s face, before pushing him bodily into the Pit. He stood at the edge and giggled at the incoherent scream that emanated from below, reveling in the delightful noise. It was all he could do not to throw the Slick One in after him, seeing as how she did so enjoy the Pit, but no…he wanted this luxury for himself.

Eldrad clamped his hands over his ears and whimpered pitifully as the hundreds of severed hands in the Pit slowly passed him down the walls, caressing him even through his solid wraithbone armor. He clamped his teeth around his tongue and prayed. “Isha, lady of healing, please, oh please help me, your eldest child, now, in my time of direst temptation, Ashurra and Khaine, lend me your strength, protect me from the foulness of the Warp…”

“They can’t hear you now, dearest,” Slaanesh giggled to himself. He paused for a moment. “Well, Isha, perhaps, but I broke Khaine over my knee, and Ashurra died with the Old Ones…you know that, silly!” Eldrad ignored him.

“Asuryan, father of the Pure, protect me from the depredations of evil and madness…”

Slaanesh laughed, loud and happy. “Asuryan! Wow, I haven’t heard that name since I ate him alive!”

Eldrad wept through blind eyes. “Taldeer, Macha, please, please forgive me my weakness and my absence, I can not love you more than I do right now…protect our families, and—“

“Oh, enough,” Slaanesh sighed, “this is getting just downright maudlin.” He slunk down the spiral walls of flesh that lined the Pit, his form shifting and flowing, at once too beautiful to ignore and too repulsive to behold. “Your daughters will service my Lust Lords and Keepers of Secrets as I flood you with my gifts.”

Eldrad could FEEL his mind breaking…no mortal, no Eldar, no being with a soul was meant to be here. “Oh, please, Gods, grant me swift death or deliverance as I fall into darkness…” he cut off as he finally reached the bottom of the Pit. Slaanesh took the last few steps at a jump, landing scant few meters from the Eldar, who had curled into the fetal position and locked his hands over his nose and mouth, whispering “never…never…never…” over and over.

Slaanesh took a moment to enjoy it…his oldest Eldar foe, ready to break and serve him. He slid his hands over the velvet floor of the Pit, towards his ancient enemy. “You escaped me at the Birthing, lover, you escaped me at the Direst Purge, you TRIED to escape me at the Battle of the Blackstone…but that clever lad Abbaddon fooled you , dear, and you learned…you can NEVER escape me a third time.”

Eldrad went limp, his hands falling from his nose and mouth as he shook convulsively. The power of the Chaos God of Pleasure was too much, even for him, this close, in his own realm. He felt a manic grin creep across his face as he felt the Dark God’s toxic scent flow over him…

Slaanesh sighed happily. All was as it should be. All was right in the Warp. He bade the light above dim, and it did so, turning from a hideous pink to a deep, dark red, an impossible color with no name lacing the clouds of nonexistence. “Now…serve me…” he whispered. The clouds above turned purple, as the Prince of Excess paused over his convulsing enemy.

“COMING THROUGH!” a voice suddenly yelled. Slaanesh looked up, startled. A huge shadow appeared at the rim of the Pit, staring through beady purple eyes. “I DON’T WANT TO INTERRUPT, BUT I’M KIND OF IN A HURRY HERE. HAND HIM OVER OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP SO BAD YOU’LL HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TITLE TO PRINCE OF EUNUCHS.”

Slaanesh gaped. What the fuck was this? A Khornate daemon, here to rob him of his prize? “You’ll not seize me for your master, foul rage beast!” he snarled, his good mood interrupted. “I’ll tear you to ribbons and return you to your master!”

“LIKE BUGGERY YOU WILL,” the being retorted. A massive wave of blue light flooded the Pit, and Eldrad was suddenly gone. His body appeared at the foot of the colossal creature, and Slaanesh howled with rage and disappointment. The Prince of Excess hurtled himself up the wall of the Pit, landing opposite the massive beast.

“I know not how you face me without turning to my service, creature, but you have no hope of victory. No entity in any realm may overcome the power of—“
“SHUT YOUR NASTY LITTLE FACE BEFORE I HACK THE OTHER BREAST OFF,” the monster roared in irritation. “I’LL BE BACK TO SCHOOL YOU SOON ENOUGH.” With a brilliant purple flash of light, the beast and the Eldar were gone, leaving the Chaos God to stand there, baffled.

Far away, as much as the words have a meaning in the realms of the warp, Tzeench gazed at the vast Sight Crystal before him and chuckled. “He sure didn’t see that coming.”