Editing Walmart Apocalypse (section)

==ENEMIES==

===AMBULOCETI===
(sample enemy faction)

Faction: Ambuloceti

Prowling the endless aisles and stocking cases of the Wal-Marts in their Rascals, the Ambuloceti live the bloody lifestyles of marauders, raiding settlements for sustenance and leaving little more than empty crisp packets and gnawed bones in their wake. Their incredible body fat percentages render them naturally immobile, and they would all swiftly go extinct save for a near-mandatory procedure which surgically welds the obese individual to a mobility scooter and installs "grabber" appendages, enabling the ambulocetus to perform tasks that his or her flab would ordinarily prohibit. Because their metabolic systems are intertwined with their carts, they are driven to despicable acts by a maddening hunger. Ambuloceti require a steady diet of high-fructose corn syrup, greasy food, and sugary snacks to avoid falling into a foodless depression, or worse, having their scooters power down for lack of energy.

The Ambuloceti (Latin for "walking whales") picked up their namesake from a popular slur in the early 21st-centry when an unprecedented obesity epidemic swept across the first world, leading to severe social upheaval and the eventual stigmatism of obese individuals. In the aftermath, the fat exiles retreated into conclaves of like-bodied beasts, and after generations of inbreeding, they ensured a stable population of increasingly bitter and overweight people. While few if any are aware of the original epidemic, a lingering distrust and revulsion force the Ambuloceti into the roles of social pariahs, not that they mind too much.

The race is almost universally loathed for their greed and rapacious hunger, referred to in hushed whispers as "ham demons" or "fatspawn". They make frequent raids on the automotive department for scooter parts and the foodstocks of otherwise peaceful tribes for sustenance. In times of great hunger (longer than a day without eating), they resort to cannibalism, and will attempt to kidnap children and weaker members of neighboring groups to supplement their grisly feasts. Archivists and historians speculate that they may also kidnap more petite humans to manually aid the nigh-impossible task of reproduction. They tend to wander sectors nearest the candy and junk food aisles, keeping a wide berth around the hated vegetable and Whole Foods areas. Denizens of those sectors are deemed "too stringy" for consumption and are mostly left alone.

More advanced conclaves of Ambuloceti have acquired access to La-Z-Boy Hovercarts, making them closer to swarms of obese locusts than mounted nomads. These wandering bands of "Hoverhams" wreak untold destruction on the the unfortunate villages and settlements that lie in their wake. Most fatty warbands hold uneasy truces with various Wal-Mart departments, trading in slaves and valuable supplies in exchange for the advanced technology that enables their marauding lifestyles.

The race of fatlords worships a combination of Genetics and Fate - a bizarre form of scientific-fatalism and likely a method of reconciling their horrific fatness with their self-perceived inability to do anything about their weight. Some Ambuloceti warbands worship a terrifying being they call "The 'Beetus" and offer him human sacrifices in hopes of staving off the numerous obesity-related diseases that plague their corpulent frames. On the front of their carts, they paint the number 888 in Nutella, a mystical totem called "The Mark of the Feast" which they believe empowers them to pursue even bolder acts of flagrant gluttony via the powers of darkness. Legends speak of a food-centric Ragnarok - referred to in epic poems as "The Great Food Fight" - that will raise them to Godhood over the "skinny assholes".

When ambuloceti inevitably die as a result of their ravenous lifestyles, their bodies are carted off to grand funeral processions in the recreation department, where the widespread use of barbeque grills makes the dead useful one last time. Bring a napkin.

Now based in WalMart restaurants (WalBurger, WalTaco etc) where they’re fed by automated drones who you really should not messed with. They’re glitched to only feed those who are super-duper fat. Robot FryCooks lead the kitchen staff (and would be a high level encounter) and command kitchen slaves, lobotomized serving staff.

(Still don’t get it? Think Krew from Jak 2, riding about his hover chair. Now make him HUGELY more disgusting, more greedy and super-duper pathetic and sickening. You get the idea.)

===SMILERS===

Okay Smilers can't buy walmart employee uniforms, even greeter zombies just have their face altered so they're always smiling. So they wear what they can find, polo shirts, dress shoes, vests, and dress clothing and do their best to emulate walmart dress code.

They think they're immune to stocker wrath, but really they just don't do anything worthy of stocker notice 90% of the time and when they are notice they're slaughtered to a man because running away or resisting doesn't occur to them.

The greet each other with "Always Low Prices" in reference to the battle for always low prices and finish the greeting with "Always WalMart" in reference to idea that Walmart always has been and always will be.

Smiler Cultists always smile, and act friendly, but the lot of them are bloody psychopaths who worship the great Sam and will gladly murder you if they think it will increase their favor with the great Sam.

They build shrines of commerce around checkout aisles and, probably call their fortresses and settlements shrines of commerce or at least build those around them. These places are where they venerate the great sam and give bloody sacrifices in his name.

Smiler Crusades are launched when the Smiler Cultists feel that the great Sam has been offended, which happens whenever someone tries to change things in the WalMetropolis, anyone who builds large structures or accumulates great wealth becomes the target of a smiler crusade, really its just an excuse to steal someone's shit, but Sam's on your side so it's cool.

They paint their faces yellow when going into battle and mark their territory with smiley faces. They launch crusades against areas and people like the VEE-R, advanced WalTech they believe was gifted to them by the Great Sam.