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Original Greentext for Blue
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'''Zizzbitz''': Oi! Wut's all dis now? '''[[Blue]]''': Huh? Oh, uh, b-boss! Well, this, uh, what was he called again? '''Zizzbitz''': E's a Nob, Blue. And e's lyin on da floor. '''Blue''': Right, about that. He, uh, well he tried to tell me what to do, so I... '''Zizzbitz''': You wut? '''Blue''': I... I krumped him good! '''Zizzbitz''': Dat's me gal! ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Oi Blue, wot ya doin' wif dat shooty suit? '''Blue''': Oh, I found some guns on the ones that weren't wrecked, so I figured I'd slap them all on one suit and see how it works. '''Zizzbitz''': Huh? Why you doin' that? '''Blue''': ...What do you mean, why? It needed more dakka.... '''Blue''': Hey, boss, are you crying? '''Zizzbitz''': Dey grow up so fast on ya.... ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Wut's dis here, Blue? '''Blue''': I thought I'd help put together a truck! '''Zizzbitz''': But dis has chainswords on da front, da sides, and da back '''Blue''': Well, I thought that instead of just being shooty, it could be choppy as well! '''Zizzbitz''': Blue, keep dis up and y'll be more've an ork dan any of da gitz here ---- '''Blue''': Look, Mr Gretchen, all I need is for you to do this simple task for me '''Grot''': I ain't listening to you, you ain't no ork and I only take orders from orks '''Blue''': I'm trying to be nice, please just listen to what I'm saying '''Grot''': No, y' ain't an Ork, so I ain't listenin to anyfing you 'ave to say '''Grot''': I said no, ok? '''Blue''': Fine. C'mere ya git! '''*Thump*''' '''Zizzbitz''': Ere Blue, wuts wit all dese ded Grotz on da floor? '''Blue''': That's what happens to anyone who says I'm not Orky, Boss '''Zizzbitz''': Oh Blue ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Wut y' workin on Blue? '''Blue''': Well, I thought that most of your shooters were a bit too simple, so I decided I'd make them a bit more interesting '''Zizzbitz''': It looks like a normal shoota t' me '''Blue''': Ah, but see here, when it fires, it actually fires spinning blades! It's choppy as well as shooty! '''Zizzbitz''': Wow Blue. Is der anyfing you CAN'T do? ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Now, dis one is Gork, and dis one is Mork. '''Blue''': But sir, what's the difference between them? '''Zizzbitz''': Who's the teecher 'ere? Shurrup. Da diff'rence is dat Gork is brutally cunning, but Mork is cunningly brutal. Get it now? '''Blue''': I'm... Not sure I do... '''Zizzbitz''': Gork krumps ya when yer' not lookin', and Mork krumps ya so y' can't look at anyfin any more. Alright? '''Blue''': Yes sir! ---- '''Blue''': Mr Boss, sir? '''Urtylug''': Waddya want, Blue? '''Blue''': Well, I saw that you were discussing tactics for your next offensive, and that you were planning on just rushing into the enemy's stronghold, where it is best defended '''Urtylug''': So? '''Blue''': It was just that, as I see it, that's not a very good plan. '''Urtylug''': Wut's wrong wid it? '''Blue''': It'd be suicide! Now, if you sent a small strike force in here, and attacke- '''Urtylug''': Blue. '''Blue''': Hold on sir, I just think going round a back- '''Urtylug''': BLUE. '''Blue''': It's just that I think the attack you're planning at the moment is, well, sui- '''Urtylug''': RIGHT. I've 'ad quite enuff of dat. Now you look 'ere Blue, we's been fru this loads o' times, but now we's goin' t' go fru it again. Wot is da Orky way? '''Blue''': Well, it's to go in shooting and chopping everything in sight. '''Urtylug''': And wot is NOT da Orky way? '''Blue''': ''*Sigh*'' Being sneaky and trying to outsmart the enemy. '''Urtylug''': EXACTLY. And don't you ferget it, or we's be havin' dis talk again. Now go and 'elp da mekboys or summat. '''Nob''': So, boss, what we gunna do bout this attack on da humies? '''Urtylug''': Well, boyz, I wus thinking. 'Ow about we send a few boyz down this way and try catch em off guard. '''Nob''': Brilliant boss, how'd you fink of dat? '''Urtylug''': Never mind 'ow. Now bugger off, all of ya gits. ---- '''Blue''': Mr Boss, I see you've got that power claw there, and I had a little idea. '''Urtylug''': Yeah? Wotizzit? '''Blue''': I thought that perhaps you could, instead of only having one close range weapon and one long range weapon, you could put a shooter on TOP of the power claw, letting you have double the firepower! I asked the Mekboys, and they said it would work. '''Urtylug''': Dat's. Dat's a good idea. Real good idea. But I can't do dat. '''Blue''': Oh, you can, I made plans for it and everything! '''Urtylug''': No. I can't. '''Blue''': But- '''Urtylug''': No, Blue. '''Blue''': Why though? '''Urtylug''': Because if I did dat dere'd never be any humies left fer choppin! ---- '''Ork''': Boss, boss! '''Urtylug''': What ya get '''Ork''': Dah new gurl '''Urtylug''': What about 'er ya git? '''Ork''': She's put mo dakka on ah wartrukz! '''Urtylug''': Wat?! 'Ow?! et me see dat. Blue, wat ya doin' wif dat wartruk? '''Blue''': Just making mo' shooty for dah boyz! '''Urtylug''': Wat? Ya jus' put a big ting on it? Dat'z not how ya do it! '''Blue''': But it's a railgun boss! '''Ork''': See wut I mean boss? She's gettin orkier by dah day. '''Urtylug''': You's put a railgun on it? Dat's a real bad idea. '''Blue''': Why, boss? '''Urtylug''': Well nows it can only go on da train tracks, when it could turn before. '''Blue''':''*Sigh*'' Oh Boss ---- '''Urtylug''': Wot da zog are yous playin at, blue? Wot da zog 'ave you dun ta my trukk? Woss all dis gubbins here? '''Blue''': I replicated the Earth Caste Tetra's as best I could, I even polished the barrels and even managed to piece together some anti-gravity jets. '''Urtylug''': But oi told yoo to make it fastah! '''Blue''': B-but it has everything a Tetra does and those far outclock any wheeled device and I worked really hard a-and I thought you'd like it a-and.. '''Urtylug''': Oh blue, ya daft git. Da trukk's dead orky but.. *Holds up a can of paint and a brush '''Urtylug''': Da RED wuns is da fastest. ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Oi, Blue. Wot cha mukkin about wif? '''Blue''': Oh, I found this wrecked Earth Caste Builder and I thought I'd supe it up, and make it Orkier! '''Zizzbitz''': How's ya gunna make dat thing Orky?! '''Blue''': Well...I thought I'd add..um...teeth to it...and some bigger guns? It can also help me build! '''Zizzbitz''': So...it'z like a flyin' gretchin? '''Blue''': Yeah, but with the firing power of a Nob! '''Zizzbitz''': Zog me...keep up da good work, Blue! ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Oi blue wut you doin'? '''Blue''': Well um...boss, I was looking at your "Rokkit Launchas" and- '''Zizzbitz''': And roight proppa dey is '''Blue''': Yes....'proppa'. I was trying to modify some Fire Caste Cluster Missiles to- '''Zizzbitz''': Oi wut you on about? '''Blue''': ''*sigh*'' The Missiles shoot missiles boss '''Zizzbitz''': So youze sayin' da dakka shoots MOAR dakka? '''Blue''': Yes boss '''Zizzbitz''': Dats so zoggin beautiful ---- '''Nob''': Oi, Blue! Today ah'm gunna show ya' how to krump loike a real Ork! '''Blue''': B-but...I thought I'd just be building... '''Nob''': Wot do ya' think'll 'appen if some humiez or sumfing come and attack camp?! 'Ow are ya' gunna defend yurself?! '''Blue''': Well...I've been planning to set up Fire Caste gun drones around camp...so the "humiez" won't be able to get to me. '''Nob''': Well...you can do dat, but I'z still gunna teach ya' how to krump proppaly! '''Blue''': Alright, I guess... *Krumps the snot out'a group of Gretchin ta show Blue ow itz dun! '''Nob''': Ya git it now?! '''Blue''': Y-yes sir... '''Nob''': Good, now ya' ready! '''Blue''': T-thanks sir... *The Nob leaves and Blue goes back to fixing up the drones ---- '''Blue''': By the way Boss, I thought I'd let you know that I caught Gretchin trying to make off with my spanner '''Zizzbitz''': Where iz da little grot! I'll kill 'im! '''Blue''': Oh, don't worry about it boss, it's not a problem '''Zizzbitz''': You ain't goin' soft on me, are ye' Blue? '''Blue''': Maybe you should ask the Gretchin that, boss. *Holds up a chopped off head '''Zizzbitz''': Dat's ma li'l Blue! ---- '''Zizzbitz''': Oi, wot's ya doin' wif dat red paint? '''Blue''': A little experiment to try enhance this gun I constructed. '''Zizzbitz''': But dat paint is fo' da trucks, ta make 'em go fasta. '''Blue''': Exactly. And that is why I will try and coat the firing mechanism in red. To enhance the rate of fire. '''Zizzbitz''': Wut? '''Blue''': Make da shoota go fasta, fo' mo' dakka. '''Zizzbitz''': Oi dun fink 'dis will work. '''Blue''': Why wouldn't it? '''Zizzbitz''': Yo' can't see da red in dere. ---- '''Blue''': Zog it, I'm da luckiest grot dat ever lived! Once I bring a whole herd o me back ta camp, dere's no way the boss's WAAAGH can fail '''Ethereal''': Now listen here, child '''Blue''': Th'name's 'Blue', Da Blue Grot. ya lanky, wrinkly grot! '''Fire Warrior''' No one calls the Ethereal a grot y-you little... '''Ethereal''': Let it go, Shas'O, now listen here, "Blue", you've been brainwashed by sick sick creatures, but our reeducation camps will help. They'll show you the Greater Good '''Blue''': Waaagh! '''Fire Warrior''' There's no getting through to this one, I'm afraid... '''Ethereal''': Wait, is that an echo or...oh no! Orks! '''WAAAAAAGH!''' '''Zizzbitz''': Dere ya are, Blue. '''Blue''': Mek! '''Zizzbitz''': An' here I thought I wuz gonna be needin a new lucky charm. ---- '''Blue''': Boss, boss, look at da new gun I scrapped together! '''Zzizbitz''': Dat's a wimpy gun! How can it dakka proper'y wit only one tube for da dakka to come out? '''Blue''': It don't shoot dakka. I adapted it from da Tau guns we stole when we krumped them. '''Zzizbitz''': Ah, dat was a good krumpin. Still, even der Grotz has more dakka dan da Tau gns, even do dey're dead-ard. '''Blue''': Booossss, it don't shoot dakka. Watch dis! *Blue pulls a lever, and the oversized railgun capacitors hum to full charge, emitting a worrying shower of sparks. Without warning there's a loud KATUNK and the railgun fires. The rough outline of a somewhat undersized warbike with tiny bolted-on wings and the accompanying sound of a gunning motor and screaming grot can be made out, the shape catching fire shortly after leaving the the railgun barrel. In the far distance, the bike finally impacts into a small fireball on a distant hill. '''Blue''': I still need ta fix da capacitors a bit so dey don't always burts inta flames, but whatcha think boss? '''Zzizbitz''': *crying in happiness* Dat is da orkiest fing I have ever saw. ---- '''Blue''': Hey boss, ya know how yous always complainin about dem monsters and all dat that occasionally pop out of da walls and stuff? '''Zzizbitz''': Yeah, dem daemony-things. They does offer a dead-ard fight, but da grotz get krumped by them right proper. '''Blue''': Well, I done messed around a bit with da force field on Boris, since da field flickers on and off anyhows. I also took dat Gelly-fieldy-thingy da Kommandos dun stole off dat humie ship and bolted dat on too, and looky what I made! '''Zzizbitz''': Dat just looks like another gun like whats da burna boyz uses. *Blue mashes a trigger, and the hum of part of a forcefield collapsing can be heard, accompanied by the screams of thousands of daemons being squeezed out of a narrow opening in a Gellar Field. The warp-monstrosities come out of the end of the mega-flamer barrel like a geyser, completely coating one of the hive spires in front of Boris with daemons. '''Zzizbitz''': Dat's right shooty, but nows you've dun stopped us from krumpin dem beasties when they pop up in Boris. '''Blue''': Nope. Now dey krump da gitz shootin at Boris for us, and den our boyz can krump dem. '''Zzizbitz''': Dat...dat's right orky if I dun say so meself. ---- '''Blue:''' Mr Boris? '''Boris:''' WHAT IS IT YA BLUE GROT? '''Blue:''' Well, I just noticed that in foights ya always seem to take a lot a damage. '''Boris:''' YEAH? '''Blue:''' An I was jus wonderan if your shield was working properly. ..... '''Blue:''' Mr Boris? '''Boris:''' I GOTSA SHIELD?! '''Blue:''' *sigh* Yes, sir you have a shield. '''Boris:''' ZOG ME, NOW THAT ROIGHT ENMBERASSIN! ---- Da funstikk: http://pastebin.com/Gq16KuCF This is as far out of the way as I can think to put it.
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