Editing The Orc And The "Dragon"

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A [[/tg/]] piece of writefaggotry involving [[Orcs & Goblins|greenskins]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]].

==Story==
Bloodbusta sighed as he took another swig from his mug of fungus beer, Snagrat was at it again. He was babbling. Bloodbusta was always worried about that Boy, always getting.... ideas.

Not that he didn't like Snagrat, no, he was a good fighter and always did his best. A bit young and a light o' green, but still good.The problem was when he wasn't fighting....

Actually.....the Orc boss paused in his thoughts, tapping a green finger to his chin

That was pratically the problem.... sometimes he WASN'T fighting.

After a battle, the rest of boyz took part in the after battle loot fest, bickering, punching, double crossing....

But not Snagrat.

He would go around..... drawing.....

He would walk over to around sketching the different armor, weapons and gubbinz that the foe was carrying at the time and move on to next thing that caught his eye and possibly take couple of things if he found time. Of course, Snagrat was still an orc, Bloodbusta saw him clobber many an orc trying to loot an item he was observing until they ran off. So Bloodbusta took a little comfort in that.

After that though, it got worse. Snagrat would go to the goblin camps and.... talk with them. It was usually very animated, excitedly discussing wossnames and writing yet mote things down. Bloodbusta even caught them trying to muck around with the bolt throwas and some of the chariots once.

And Bloodbusta didn't even want to think about the time Snagrat tried to use a Doom Diver.

A shudder went through Bloodbusta as he came out of his thoughts, he found himself back around the campfire, listening to snagrat talking and his Boyz desperately trying to ignore him.

It waz HUGE I tellz ya! Wif big ol' teef, ded 'ard scales and wings bigger den a wyvern! It was Zoggin bootiful!" Exclaimed Snagrat

One of the larger orcs spoke up, draining his beer beforehand saying

"Yer, yer, wez all heard of dat "dragon" yous saw! Now SHUT YER GOB! I IZ TRYING TO DRINK."

"It waz real. Kronash! Iz tellz ya!" Whined Snagrat

"Sure, sure, And Iz killed da Git in Da Lake." Kronash sniggered This was follwed by chuckling from the rest of the boyz.

And there was Kronash, always one step behind Bloodbusta for leader of the mob, and he was getting closer every day. Normally, Bloodbusta would have krumped his head in just for thinking about such things. But Kronash was useful, he kept the other orcs in line when he wasn't around, and wasn't showing any real signs of wanting leadership. He was a cunning git.

"Well I was finking..." Snagrat began was interrupted by large chorus of groans from the rest of the group.

"I was FINKING.... wez should git a dragon for us!"

A large spurt of fungus beer sprayed from Kronashs' mouth igniting in the campfire and hitting a passing goblin. Every orc was silent for a few moments until Kronash spoke again

" ARE YOU ZOGGIN CRAZY? DERE AIN'T NO DRAGONS HERE OR FER.... FER... FOREVER!!!" exploded Kronash, he took a pause and spoke again

"DA ONLY WUNZ DAT HAVE DRAGONS ARE ZOGGIN' PANZY ELVES! AND WE AIN'T PANZIES ARE WE?!"

Snagrat stood up and put snout against the larger orcs and shouted back

"DERE IZ A DRAGON AND I STILL FINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA'"

Both orcs just stood there, their foreheads grinding against rough green skin, the other orcs simply looked on, waiting for the inevitable (and short) fight.

Zoggin' hell, Thought Bloodbusta, he's going to get himself killed.

Thinking quickly, he stepped between the two orcs and gave two swifts headbutts to each. A thud accompanied each orc, with Snagrat moaning and Kronash simply rubbing his head.

Bloodbusta shook his head and looked at the two, they were his boyz, thus, his problem. If only there was.... Bloodbusta's thoughts froze as an idea formed in his head.... a brilliant... cunning.... plan.

The two orcs by now had shuffled back to their original spots, nursing their bruised heads. Bloodbusta walked over infringe of Snagrat and said:

" Where did youz see dis.... dragon?"

Snagrat looked up sheepishly and pointed towards the north.

"Up dere, in da forest." He replied quietly, like child who recently was scolded

Bloodbusta nodded, there beastmen in the forest, so that covered one part of the plan.

He continued;

"So, youz wants ta hunt a dragon?"

Snagrat just nodded.

"Well.... yous gonna need some boyz den...." Bloodbusta said smiling, if somewhat leeringly.

Snagrat immideatly perked up, eyes turning from downcast to glinting.
"Youz can go out hunt dat dragon of yers, but you gotta bring it back ta me, alright?"

Snagrat made a snappy salute and stood up as straight as he could

"YES BOSS SIR!" He shouted jubilantly. His salute faltered as looked as his boss

"Errr.... who's Iz I gonna take boss?" He asked confusedly.

" Oh dats easy!" Remarked Bloodbusta "Yer gonna take Kronash!"

Another spray of beer was released into fire and Kronash flung himself up to his full height.

"WOT."

" And youz is in charge of dis little expidishun snagrat, so if he gives any trouble or youz don't make it back, I'll krump him." Bloodbusta continued smugly

"WOT."

" Also take a few of doze gobbos youz hang around wif."

"YOUZ CAN'T DO DAT BOSS!" Shrieked Kornash "HE'S JUST A LITTLE RUNT!!!"

"IZ DA BOSS AND WHAT SAY GOES, IF I SUZ DAT SNAGRAT IS IN CHARGE, 'E'S IN CHARGE! UNNERSTAND?" Roared Bloodbusta

Kornash looked like he was going say something else, but he visibly deflated and growled "Okay....Boss..."

"Now dat dat's settled, gaver your fings! I wanna a dragon by sunrize!" Bloodbusta exclaimed jovially

Snagrat rushed off in a green blur towards his tent, slipping on a pair of broken glasses as he did so. Kornash simply grumbled and picked up his choppa, dragging his feet and following Snagrat.

Bloodbusta sat back, and grinned, his plan was set into motion... Snagrat was either going to get hardened up and more green if he made it out of the forest (or survived Kornash) hopefully dropping his weird habits for good. He liked the boy, but he was goingbto have learn sooner or later. And kornash, he was gonna little lesson in being under snagrat, or. On the off chance that Snagrats story was true.... get eaten by a dragon.

Now all he had to do, was sit and wait.

'''To be continued.'''

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category: Orcs & Goblins]]