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'''The GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific [[VINESAUCE]]-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with [[JOEL]]).
'''Gunner Ferik Jurgen''' – [[Ciaphas Cain]]'s personal aide and former guardsman of the [[Valhallan Ice Warriors]]. Noticeable for his powerful body odor and chronic psoriasis (which discourage others from getting too close to him), Jurgen is also a "blank", or a psychic null; this trait saved them both on more than one occasion. Jurgen is completely loyal to the Commissar, and his unwavering dedication to him has helped both of them through many dangerous situations. In order to protect him from the wider Inquisition and overzealous members of the Imperium, however, Cain actively kept Jurgen's status as a blank a closely guarded secret. The rank of Gunner is not a common rank in regiments of the imperial guard, but it is a rank found in artillery regiments - Jurgen was officially still part of the Valhallan 12th artillery well after Cain was re-assigned to the 597th. Jurgen was eventually promoted to "Gunner First Class", a completely fictitious rank that Cain apparently made up. Regardless of his actual rank, Jurgen's position as Commissar's aid means that he can use Cain's status to pull rank on just about anyone in the Imperial Guard.


They operated out of the now-defunct SilvaGunner YouTube channel until some time in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before largely being abandoned.
In addition to his lasgun (with which he is an excellent shot) Jurgen usually carries a meltagun when he thinks they're heading into trouble. He tries to stay prepared for every situation, and is always wearing assault webbing heavy with various pouches full of any number of useful sundries, a collection of [[NSFW|porno-slates]] among them which Jurgen reads when he is on break. He has a talent for scrounging up goods, though no one is sure how he does it (At one point Cain saw him stuff a half eaten sandwich into one of his webbing pouches when no-one was looking, and made a mental note to not eat any food he offered for a while, though Jurgen does seem to have an endless supply of Cain's favorite tea). Cain finds Jurgen an excellent aide, as Jurgen has a 'singular lack of imagination' he made up in doggedly following Cain's orders, as he always thinks of them as for the good of the Imperium, something which Cain finds extremely useful. Jurgen is also noted for his fear of flying and his exceptionally aggressive driving style; he routinely drives Cain's personal scout Salamander in a manner generously described as "insane" and, coupled with his literal-mindedness and loyalty, he will often crash through walls or drive straight up shuttle boarding ramps without hesitation--it's notable, though, that Jurgen pretty much never crashes into something he doesn't intend to hit. Jurgen also makes an excellent secretary, as very few people are able to get past him to see Cain unless it is VERY important (reducing the amount of office work done by Cain and allowing him to take "breaks" without his absence being noticed). Despite his otherwise dogged adherence to authority, Jurgen's appearance has often been remarked as being extremely shabby for a soldier. He has never been able to find a uniform that fits him properly, maintains a shabby beard (which he has medical dispensation for due to his skin diseases) and has often been remarked to think hygiene is something that happens to other people.


== Forums ==
It's possible that, given his status as a blank, his nauseating stench and other assorted unpleasant attributes are actively cultivated because he figured that because blanks are supernaturally dislikeable no matter what they do to look better, he might as well give people a logical excuse to ignore him and not like him. It is also possible that the stank is at least partially just in everyone else's mind, as how they perceive his unpleasant aura, a sort of "uncanny valley" effect manifesting in the material plane. Cain never gives any of this any thought and just thinks Jurgen smells bad. By the way, when Cain was wearing a gas mask in Greater Good, Jurgen surprised him through a combination of the gas mask filtering out Jurgen's smell and obstructing Cain's peripheral vision. Though it should be noted that gas masks have been shown to filter out [[Nurgle|warp-based gases and diseases]], as well, so this doesn't really prove anything either way.
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


== Events ==
''The Smallest Detail'' is a standalone short (9 pages) story starring Jurgen, rather than Cain himself.
The VINESAUCE gaming events that The GRAND DAD Fugitives held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong homebrew scene.  These events would involve Tempus-Fugitives-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


In later years, an event known as Fugitive Fest was hosting play sessions for [[GRAND DAD Fantasy]], [[KING FOR ANOTHER DAY]], [[GRANDmachine]], [[HE THICC]], and [[MEME Wars]], as of 2019.
In ''A Mug of Recaff'' (another short story in which Jurgen is the protagonist) it is stated that [[Amberley Vail|Vail]] tried a couple times to explain to Jurgen that he was a blank using big words that made his head hurt. This has resulted in Jurgen having a limited understanding of what it means to be a blank. It's not clear if he knows he is a counter to psykers, he definitely knows he is a counter to demons (but is lightly implied that he doesn't understand that the way it works is he needs to be sufficiently close to the demon), and he thinks that this trait is a gift to him from [[The God-Emperor of Mankind|The Emperor]] (and presumably does not consider it "genetic" or even passed from parent to offspring).


== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES == Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition.  Note that The GRAND DAD Fugitives seem to have been most active between 2007 and 2013.
==See Also==


* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
* [[Jurgen Chronicles]]; a few stories from Jurgen's point of view.
* GRAND DAD: The Gauntlet of ASS (SANS, PAPYRUS, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SMOL NOZOMI)
* '''GRAND DAD''' 3: GRAND DAD IS GOD


GRAND DAD IS LOVE
{{IG-Characters}}
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER
 
[[Category: Memes]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]]

Latest revision as of 11:08, 21 June 2023

Gunner Ferik JurgenCiaphas Cain's personal aide and former guardsman of the Valhallan Ice Warriors. Noticeable for his powerful body odor and chronic psoriasis (which discourage others from getting too close to him), Jurgen is also a "blank", or a psychic null; this trait saved them both on more than one occasion. Jurgen is completely loyal to the Commissar, and his unwavering dedication to him has helped both of them through many dangerous situations. In order to protect him from the wider Inquisition and overzealous members of the Imperium, however, Cain actively kept Jurgen's status as a blank a closely guarded secret. The rank of Gunner is not a common rank in regiments of the imperial guard, but it is a rank found in artillery regiments - Jurgen was officially still part of the Valhallan 12th artillery well after Cain was re-assigned to the 597th. Jurgen was eventually promoted to "Gunner First Class", a completely fictitious rank that Cain apparently made up. Regardless of his actual rank, Jurgen's position as Commissar's aid means that he can use Cain's status to pull rank on just about anyone in the Imperial Guard.

In addition to his lasgun (with which he is an excellent shot) Jurgen usually carries a meltagun when he thinks they're heading into trouble. He tries to stay prepared for every situation, and is always wearing assault webbing heavy with various pouches full of any number of useful sundries, a collection of porno-slates among them which Jurgen reads when he is on break. He has a talent for scrounging up goods, though no one is sure how he does it (At one point Cain saw him stuff a half eaten sandwich into one of his webbing pouches when no-one was looking, and made a mental note to not eat any food he offered for a while, though Jurgen does seem to have an endless supply of Cain's favorite tea). Cain finds Jurgen an excellent aide, as Jurgen has a 'singular lack of imagination' he made up in doggedly following Cain's orders, as he always thinks of them as for the good of the Imperium, something which Cain finds extremely useful. Jurgen is also noted for his fear of flying and his exceptionally aggressive driving style; he routinely drives Cain's personal scout Salamander in a manner generously described as "insane" and, coupled with his literal-mindedness and loyalty, he will often crash through walls or drive straight up shuttle boarding ramps without hesitation--it's notable, though, that Jurgen pretty much never crashes into something he doesn't intend to hit. Jurgen also makes an excellent secretary, as very few people are able to get past him to see Cain unless it is VERY important (reducing the amount of office work done by Cain and allowing him to take "breaks" without his absence being noticed). Despite his otherwise dogged adherence to authority, Jurgen's appearance has often been remarked as being extremely shabby for a soldier. He has never been able to find a uniform that fits him properly, maintains a shabby beard (which he has medical dispensation for due to his skin diseases) and has often been remarked to think hygiene is something that happens to other people.

It's possible that, given his status as a blank, his nauseating stench and other assorted unpleasant attributes are actively cultivated because he figured that because blanks are supernaturally dislikeable no matter what they do to look better, he might as well give people a logical excuse to ignore him and not like him. It is also possible that the stank is at least partially just in everyone else's mind, as how they perceive his unpleasant aura, a sort of "uncanny valley" effect manifesting in the material plane. Cain never gives any of this any thought and just thinks Jurgen smells bad. By the way, when Cain was wearing a gas mask in Greater Good, Jurgen surprised him through a combination of the gas mask filtering out Jurgen's smell and obstructing Cain's peripheral vision. Though it should be noted that gas masks have been shown to filter out warp-based gases and diseases, as well, so this doesn't really prove anything either way.

The Smallest Detail is a standalone short (9 pages) story starring Jurgen, rather than Cain himself.

In A Mug of Recaff (another short story in which Jurgen is the protagonist) it is stated that Vail tried a couple times to explain to Jurgen that he was a blank using big words that made his head hurt. This has resulted in Jurgen having a limited understanding of what it means to be a blank. It's not clear if he knows he is a counter to psykers, he definitely knows he is a counter to demons (but is lightly implied that he doesn't understand that the way it works is he needs to be sufficiently close to the demon), and he thinks that this trait is a gift to him from The Emperor (and presumably does not consider it "genetic" or even passed from parent to offspring).

See Also[edit]

Famous members of the Imperial Guard
Commissars:
Senior Officers:
Junior Officers:
Enlisted Guardsmen: