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{{Promotions}}
{{Promotions}}
[[Image:Macha NSFW.jpg|thumb|right|Poor Macha.]]'''Macha''' is an [[Eldar]] Farseer from [[Dawn of War]]. She can never get laid. She is alternately friends with or the sister of [[Taldeer]]. If she is a sister, she's another daughter of [[Eldrad]] along with Taldeer. We're a little shaky on these things. Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked.  
{{Heresy}}
[[Image:Machadow3.jpg|thumb|600px|Go bring up her virginity to her face, I dare you.]]
Not to be confused with [[Mecha]].


She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.
<s>Mocha</s> <s>Mucha</s> '''Macha''' is an [[Eldar]] Farseer from [[Dawn of War]] infamous for being a 4000+ year-old virgin. Like [[Taldeer]], she's another daughter of [[Eldrad]] (as far as [[/tg/]] canon is concerned). Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked (many of which can be seen below). She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.


Later developments brought about the discovery that Macha is destined to be with the [[Emprah]],'''HOW FUCKING DARE YOU LOOK AT MY BRIDE'S NAKED BODY!!''' but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or the fact that she doesn't know about it at all and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is literally the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen.
Later developments brought about the theory that Macha is destined to be with the [[Emprah]], but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or if she is simply extremely unlucky and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen. For a while, she died, no thanks to [[C.S. Goto]], but she got better (she was only a little dead).


For a while, she died- but- she she got better (she was only a little dead). /tg/ has since brought her back.
Macha has had anal sex, frequently in fact, but it has always been with a Callidus Assassin masquerading as someone or another. While initially traumatizing for her, Macha has accepted this fact and views the unnamed Callidus as her sort-of girlfriend. Whether this makes Macha bisexual or not (considering that the Callidus always takes male form when they interact) is up for debate. Rumors of her getting laid for real with a mon'keigh fuckbuddy of hers have yet to be confirmed or denied, as the people who try to bring it up keep getting a Singing Spear jammed into their eye sockets. Often drawn by [[Drawfag|Chink]] before he left /tg/ for [[/v/|Skullgirls]].
 
She has returned in [[Dawn of War III]]. Hilariously enough, her unmasked appearance is exactly the same as what /tg/ has always depicted her looking like, right down to the cheek lines and red hair. This has lead to some theories as to this design choice:
 
#The Designers are total fa/tg/uys and read this wiki and the boards.
#The Designers want to appease 40k fans by throwing a little fanservice their way.
#The character designer for Macha was a new guy who went looking for character references and didn't realize that all the drawings were just fanon interpretations.
 
The meme about her being a perpetual virgin is rather ironic given that she shares a name with a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macha Celtic goddess] of, among other things, fertility (but it's not like virginity was not a custom in Celtic culture).
 
Oh fuck, [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|What]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWDTuxeZrIc| did you do...]
 
==Dawn of War ==
During the events of the original game, Macha leads a warhost of Biel-Tan Eldar on the planet [[Tartarus]]. Their mission was to safeguard an ancient artifact known as the "Maledictum", which contained a powerful greater daemon of Khorne that the Eldar had imprisoned millenia ago. When the Forces of Chaos arrived on Tartarus with the intention of obtaining the artifact, Macha lead her forces to ensure that they would not succeed. Though because of the Eldar's legendary arrogance and seeing themselves as the only ones capable of handling the situation, rather than explaining themselves to the imperials and maybe trying to ally with them, Macha led the warhost against the imperial forces and engaged in a bloody conflict with Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens that ultimately led to the Eldar's defeat and greatly weakening their forces. Since engaging nearly a whole chapter of warriors capable of devastating Craftworlds was somehow a bad idea. Who would've thought? Her mistake is compounded by the common knowledge that the Imperium basically is an anti-Chaos, daemon-slaying warmachine and so is very much far more capable of sealing away the Maledictum or outright destroying the daemon within than even the Eldar have ever been.
 
Macha was then confronted by Angelos and his Librarian friend Isador near the dig site which held the key to the Maledictum, and pleaded with them to bury the key. However the Chaos Sorcerer Sindri appeared and quickly took the key before teleporting away. Macha then told Angelos that if he wanted more answers, then he should ask Inquistor Toth as she states that he knows more than he lets on. Before she left, she informed Angelos of where the Forces of Chaos were entrenched while also blaming him for weakening the Biel-Tan warhost (conveniently forgetting the conflict between the Eldar and the Blood Ravens was partly her fault if not more).
 
She and the Eldar forces appear again during the final mission where they allied with the Blood Ravens against the Alpha Legion and Sindri, who had ascended into a Daemon Prince. After Sindri got his ugly face smashed thanks to Angelos and his newly acquired daemon-hammer, both the Space Marines and Eldar got a hold of the Maledictum. Macha implored Gabriel to not destroy the stone, but rather than straight out saying that destroying it would release the daemon, she just vaguely said that he knows little of what he is doing before ordering her forces to open fire on the imperials (thereby encouraging Gabriel not to heed her). Gabriel proceeded to destroy the Maledictum, causing the Eldar to flee and Macha cursing him that his action has doomed them all. Stupidly forgetting that she was speaking to a super-daemon killer fully capable of killing whatever was unleashed.
 
After that, she hasn't been seen since. Until.....
 
==Dawn of War III==
Macha returns after more than a decade since the first game. She serves under the command of Lord Kyre who seeks to obtain the Spear of Khaine, located on Acheron, the wandering world. She is still tsundere for Gabriel as when she receives orders to kill him for mucking up with Kyre's plans, she refuses. In the end she teams up with Angelos [[wat|and Gorgutz]] to stop the chaotic threat. Her whole reason for being there originally, though, was to try to destroy the Blood Ravens and personally kill Gabriel as she blames the Chapter for weakening her warhost and she holds Gabriel personally responsible for the release of the daemon. Even though literally all of those things were direct and extremely obvious results of ''her'' actions. And if a fraction of the Chapter did that, attacking the Chapter as a whole is…uh…really damn stupid. Maybe challenging a Chapter full of extremely powerful psykers and precogs is a bad idea?


==Stories Featuring Macha==
==Stories Featuring Macha==
* [[Imber]]
* [[Imber]]
* [[The Ever Virgin]]
* [[The Ever Virgin]]
* [[Macha's Vacation]]
* [[Chris Orksen]], Macha gets vanned for trying to pedo-sex human male children.
* [[Macha writes a fapfic]] - Macha accidentally frees the Star Child from the Warp. It seems some writefag did a whole overhaul of the fapfic, now it's even more heretical and NSFW. YAY!
* [[The Final Saga of Macha the Ever-Virgin: Extra Large Heresy]] - Sometimes miracles really do happen. (Even more NSFW.)


==See Also==
==See Also==
* [[Caerys]], another farseer
* [[Caerys]], another farseer
* [[Gabriel Angelos]], Macha's newest crush
* [[Gabriel Angelos]], an old crush of Macha's, although he was chem-gelded (which made bedding him out of the question). However, there are rumours that the reason he did not bed her was because he is gay[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRuXt2lIp3U]. Other rumors say that they ''did'' bed one another, but they had to call it off for fear of inquisitorial purging.
* [[Callidus]], Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERYTIME.
* [[Callidus]], Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERY TIME.
* [[Machas Vacation]]
 
==Links==


==Gallery==
"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054
 
== Gallery ==
 
{{Promotions}}
<gallery>
<gallery>
Image:Macha NSFW.jpg
Image:Macha_9.png
Image:Macha_9.png
Image:Macha_5.jpg
Image:Macha_5.jpg
Image:Elite_Beat_Eldar_Divas_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:Elite_Beat_Eldar_Divas_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg|They're cheering for the Imperial Guard. All Guardsmen who survive the battle get to see the nude version.
Image:Macha_1.png
Image:Macha_1.png
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:One just for the fatguys by Mr Culexus.jpg
Image:Macha_11.jpg|She's our favourite Sexy Loser
Image:Macha_2.jpg
Image:Macha_2.png
Image:Macha_2.png
Image:Interruption by Chink.jpg
Image:Interruption by Chink.jpg
Image:Mon Keigh Fucker.jpg
Image:Macha_6.jpg
Image:Macha_6.jpg
Image:Macha_7.png
Image:Macha_7.png
Line 48: Line 79:
Image:Macha_Hmm.jpg
Image:Macha_Hmm.jpg
Image:Macha_Baw_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:Macha_Baw_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg
Image:MACHA_X_BIG_E.jpg|This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.
Image:1363033022950.jpg
Image:Macha_GRIMDARK.jpg
Image:Macha 1.jpg
Image:ItsMachaTime!.jpg|You better BELIEVE IT.
Image:Heretical Daydreams.jpg| Heresy is in the air!
Image:Macha_11.jpg|She's our favorite Sexy Loser
Image:1228597397940.jpg|Macha encounters the faptau
Image:1228597397940.jpg|Macha encounters the faptau
Image:Macha_GRIMDARK.jpg|Over-reacting much?
Image:Ishadamnitmacha.jpg|Macha while writing her fap-fic
Image:Sugar.png| Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment
Image:Machacalunf.jpg| This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR
Image:MachaVisitsCWCVille.jpg| Macha meets <s>Chris-Chan</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|A certain Extra Heretic that shall not be named}}.
Image:Macha and Gabe.jpg| The man who opened her wraithbone.
Image:Machaplus4.png| Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work
Image:Machaplus4.png| Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work
Image:Sugar.png| Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender momment
Image:1386533014791.jpg|Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.
Image:Machacalunf.jpg| This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR
Image:Mon Keigh Fucker.jpg|The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.
Image:MachaVisitsCWCVille.jpg| Macha meets [[Chris-Chan]].
Image:MACHA_X_BIG_E.jpg|This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.
</gallery>}}
Image:Macha lewd.jpg
Image:Macha cute.png
Image:Glorious HD Macha.jpg|Fucking zap
Image:Macha_doll.jpeg|Spending time with the Emperor
Image:Happymacha by sexual yeti-da1lfvd.jpg|Bewbs
Image:Warhammer_girls_by_hotgum-db17k0n.jpg|Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine
Image:Wych on Elfdar.jpg|[[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith]] and Macha
Image:Gabriel and macha.PNG|They've hooked back up.
Image:Gabriel x Macha.jpg| Finally, after 13 years.
Image:Gabe and macha 3.jpg| She won't be disappointed.
</gallery>
 
== Links ==
 
"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054
 
[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]
 
[[Category: Dawn of War]]
 
[[Category: Xenos]]
 
[[Category: Eldar]]
 
[[Category: Craftworld Eldar]]


[[Category:Eldar]]
{{Eldar-Characters}}

Latest revision as of 12:23, 21 June 2023

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.
Go bring up her virginity to her face, I dare you.

Not to be confused with Mecha.

Mocha Mucha Macha is an Eldar Farseer from Dawn of War infamous for being a 4000+ year-old virgin. Like Taldeer, she's another daughter of Eldrad (as far as /tg/ canon is concerned). Usually depicted to be mostly reasonable, outside of relationship matters where she falls into a self pitying, whiny wreck concerning her virginity. Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to pictures of her naked (many of which can be seen below). She can be distinguished from other Eldar by her cheek lines and red hair.

Later developments brought about the theory that Macha is destined to be with the Emprah, but due to Eldrad dickery these two will continue being a virgin and comatose corpse-god, respectively. There are also conflicting opinions on whether Macha is actually saving herself for the Emperor and choosing to be a virgin, or if she is simply extremely unlucky and is constantly frustrated as to why she fails to get laid when her body is the hottest piece of ass this grimdark universe has ever seen. For a while, she died, no thanks to C.S. Goto, but she got better (she was only a little dead).

Macha has had anal sex, frequently in fact, but it has always been with a Callidus Assassin masquerading as someone or another. While initially traumatizing for her, Macha has accepted this fact and views the unnamed Callidus as her sort-of girlfriend. Whether this makes Macha bisexual or not (considering that the Callidus always takes male form when they interact) is up for debate. Rumors of her getting laid for real with a mon'keigh fuckbuddy of hers have yet to be confirmed or denied, as the people who try to bring it up keep getting a Singing Spear jammed into their eye sockets. Often drawn by Chink before he left /tg/ for Skullgirls.

She has returned in Dawn of War III. Hilariously enough, her unmasked appearance is exactly the same as what /tg/ has always depicted her looking like, right down to the cheek lines and red hair. This has lead to some theories as to this design choice:

  1. The Designers are total fa/tg/uys and read this wiki and the boards.
  2. The Designers want to appease 40k fans by throwing a little fanservice their way.
  3. The character designer for Macha was a new guy who went looking for character references and didn't realize that all the drawings were just fanon interpretations.

The meme about her being a perpetual virgin is rather ironic given that she shares a name with a Celtic goddess of, among other things, fertility (but it's not like virginity was not a custom in Celtic culture).

Oh fuck, What did you do...

Dawn of War[edit]

During the events of the original game, Macha leads a warhost of Biel-Tan Eldar on the planet Tartarus. Their mission was to safeguard an ancient artifact known as the "Maledictum", which contained a powerful greater daemon of Khorne that the Eldar had imprisoned millenia ago. When the Forces of Chaos arrived on Tartarus with the intention of obtaining the artifact, Macha lead her forces to ensure that they would not succeed. Though because of the Eldar's legendary arrogance and seeing themselves as the only ones capable of handling the situation, rather than explaining themselves to the imperials and maybe trying to ally with them, Macha led the warhost against the imperial forces and engaged in a bloody conflict with Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens that ultimately led to the Eldar's defeat and greatly weakening their forces. Since engaging nearly a whole chapter of warriors capable of devastating Craftworlds was somehow a bad idea. Who would've thought? Her mistake is compounded by the common knowledge that the Imperium basically is an anti-Chaos, daemon-slaying warmachine and so is very much far more capable of sealing away the Maledictum or outright destroying the daemon within than even the Eldar have ever been.

Macha was then confronted by Angelos and his Librarian friend Isador near the dig site which held the key to the Maledictum, and pleaded with them to bury the key. However the Chaos Sorcerer Sindri appeared and quickly took the key before teleporting away. Macha then told Angelos that if he wanted more answers, then he should ask Inquistor Toth as she states that he knows more than he lets on. Before she left, she informed Angelos of where the Forces of Chaos were entrenched while also blaming him for weakening the Biel-Tan warhost (conveniently forgetting the conflict between the Eldar and the Blood Ravens was partly her fault if not more).

She and the Eldar forces appear again during the final mission where they allied with the Blood Ravens against the Alpha Legion and Sindri, who had ascended into a Daemon Prince. After Sindri got his ugly face smashed thanks to Angelos and his newly acquired daemon-hammer, both the Space Marines and Eldar got a hold of the Maledictum. Macha implored Gabriel to not destroy the stone, but rather than straight out saying that destroying it would release the daemon, she just vaguely said that he knows little of what he is doing before ordering her forces to open fire on the imperials (thereby encouraging Gabriel not to heed her). Gabriel proceeded to destroy the Maledictum, causing the Eldar to flee and Macha cursing him that his action has doomed them all. Stupidly forgetting that she was speaking to a super-daemon killer fully capable of killing whatever was unleashed.

After that, she hasn't been seen since. Until.....

Dawn of War III[edit]

Macha returns after more than a decade since the first game. She serves under the command of Lord Kyre who seeks to obtain the Spear of Khaine, located on Acheron, the wandering world. She is still tsundere for Gabriel as when she receives orders to kill him for mucking up with Kyre's plans, she refuses. In the end she teams up with Angelos and Gorgutz to stop the chaotic threat. Her whole reason for being there originally, though, was to try to destroy the Blood Ravens and personally kill Gabriel as she blames the Chapter for weakening her warhost and she holds Gabriel personally responsible for the release of the daemon. Even though literally all of those things were direct and extremely obvious results of her actions. And if a fraction of the Chapter did that, attacking the Chapter as a whole is…uh…really damn stupid. Maybe challenging a Chapter full of extremely powerful psykers and precogs is a bad idea?

Stories Featuring Macha[edit]

See Also[edit]

  • Caerys, another farseer
  • Gabriel Angelos, an old crush of Macha's, although he was chem-gelded (which made bedding him out of the question). However, there are rumours that the reason he did not bed her was because he is gay[1]. Other rumors say that they did bed one another, but they had to call it off for fear of inquisitorial purging.
  • Callidus, Macha's stalker that keeps tricking her into thinking she's getting it on with a guy... EVERYDAY. And she falls for it... EVERY TIME.

Links[edit]

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

Gallery[edit]

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.
  • They're cheering for the Imperial Guard. All Guardsmen who survive the battle get to see the nude version.

    They're cheering for the Imperial Guard. All Guardsmen who survive the battle get to see the nude version.

  • You better BELIEVE IT.

    You better BELIEVE IT.

  • Heresy is in the air!

    Heresy is in the air!

  • She's our favorite Sexy Loser

    She's our favorite Sexy Loser

  • Macha encounters the faptau

    Macha encounters the faptau

  • Macha while writing her fap-fic

    Macha while writing her fap-fic

  • Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment

    Macha and Callidus Wife sharing a tender moment

  • This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR

    This would be cute if Macha wasn't +4 STR

  • Macha meets Chris-Chan *BLAM* A certain Extra Heretic that shall not be named.

    Macha meets Chris-Chan *BLAM* A certain Extra Heretic that shall not be named.

  • The man who opened her wraithbone.

    The man who opened her wraithbone.

  • Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work

    Plus Four Str Macha arriving home after a long days work

  • Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.

    Macha has learned to mix sex with violence in her more recent shlickfics. The results are undeniable.

  • The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.

    The irony fairy must be laughing its ass off right now, given some of Macha's more recent antics.

  • This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.

    This pic has Macha, boobs, whiskey, porno, heresy, a natural twenty, xenos love, the Emperor, a fallen paladin of sorts, chainmail on the armor on the floor, and -4 STR. The Emperor himself knows not what to make of this.

  • Fucking zap

    Fucking zap

  • Spending time with the Emperor

    Spending time with the Emperor

  • Bewbs

    Bewbs

  • Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine

    Hanging out with Miriael, Lelith and Celestine

  • Lelith and Macha

    Lelith and Macha

  • They've hooked back up.

    They've hooked back up.

  • Finally, after 13 years.

    Finally, after 13 years.

  • She won't be disappointed.

    She won't be disappointed.

Links[edit]

"W" Artel is now making a Mini: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1680&bih=931&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=Warseer+by+Artel&oq=Warseer+by+Artel&gs_l=psy-ab.3...21943.21943.0.22478.1.1.0.0.0.0.127.127.0j1.1.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0.sHqf0TJ3gPM#imgrc=_&spf=1505318399054

Famous Eldar
Heroes: Eldrad Ulthran - Illic Nightspear - Prince Yriel - Yvraine
Visarch - Sylandri Veilwalker
Phoenix Lords: Asurmen - Baharroth - Drastanta - Fuegan
Irillyth - Jain Zar - Karandras - Maugan Ra
From Dawn of War I: Farseer Caerys - Farseer Macha - Farseer Taldeer
From Dawn of War II: Autarch Kayleth - Farseer Elenwe - Farseer Idranel
Ranger Ronahn - Warlock Veldoran


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