Steam Tank

This article related to Warhammer Fantasy Battle is a stub. You can help 1d4chan by expanding it.

IT IS THE STEAMTANK!!!

"STANDING IN THE LINE OF FIRE, TANKS WILL LEAD THE WAY"

– Sabaton

"I AM A STEAM TANK, chu chu chu, Woooot-woooooot!"

– A drunk Saltzpyre explaining why we all love Steam Tanks.

A Steam Tank is a Tank which is powered by a Steam Engine. Naturally Steam Tanks are common thing in steampunk settings.

Warhammer Fantasy

Despite being for the most part at a 1600's level of technological development, the Empire of Warhammer Fantasy Battle has METAL BAWKSES as well. They were actually invented by Dwarfs with collaboration from the founder of the College of Engineers himself, the famed Tilean inventor and Engineer Leonardo da Miragliano (a reference to real life Italian genius Leonardo da Vinci (blessed be his name)), and thanks to the alliances between German and Scotsman in Warhammer Fantasy, Humans ended up with the plans. Dwarfs refuse to use anything that hasn't been tested in the shop for at least a few hundred years before the first field test (although newer generations of Dwarfs are rapidly using newer and newer creations, which pisses off the older Dwarfs to no end. The fact there's fewer old Dwarfs to beat them senseless for showing "Elvish Sense" may have something to do with it...) so these tend to only show up as scenario options for them or as proxies. The general design may have been simplified for the Deathroller in Blood Bowl that Dwarf teams bring though.

Only twelve were built and only eight remain to this day, the secrets behind their construction lost following Leonardo's death.

As one would expect, they're usually covered in symbols of the Empire. Griffons, skulls, Germanic flags, wreaths, and crossed muskets. 40k fans are tsundere for them, partially because after decades of seeing Rhino after Rhino the design for the Steam Tank of the Empire is a glittering prize (to say nothing of the MANLY mustache and glorious METAL hat sported by the man on top who wants to hit things with his JEWELED sword). On the other hand, anything that isn't Warhammer 40k is heresy so they can't like it. Oh well!

Technical Kvetching

The Empire's steam tanks has a fair deal of issues. First of all is its wheels. It's got four large wooden wheels, which means that it has a fair deal of weight on each of them, putting them under considerable strain and leaves it liable to sink into the mud. The second issue is suspension, or more specifically its non existence. The Rear Wheels are just bolted onto the side of the vehicle directly. This means that every single rock, stick and slightly raised mound of dirt that the vehicle rolls over will be felt as the vehicle is jostled around. Besides the fact that this means that Barf Bags will be a necessity for the crew, this will be hard on the mechanisms and will mean that stuff will be rattling around, which includes burning coals and gunpowder.

Armament has its own issues. The turret mounted steam gun is a solid enough weapon all things considered. The frontal cannon however is more problematic. First of all it's going to recoil when fired. This can be addressed with rails and mechanisms, even though it would still be a hazard for the crew. A bigger issue is reloading. Unless it's a breach loader getting the gun ready to fire another volley under combat conditions in a cramped box is not going to be fun or quick.

The final points relate to the engine. First of all it's exposed, leaving it vulnerable to attack from the rear. Having a wooden boiler is going to restrict the engine power. Fueling is going to be an issue as space inside the thing is going to be rather cramped and you have to accommodate the coal and a stoker to shovel it in, unless it is powered by a magical artefact which is implied in some of the fluff (although others say it's wood, so who knows?).

That said, these points avoid a critical issue: the Empire's Steam Tanks exist in a world where some variation on Spearman Steve is the standard soldier for most factions. Having any functional tank on a pseudo medieval battlefield is a big deal.

See also:

• “Those wings wouldn’t generate enough lift to get that dragon airborne”.
• “Pointed ears serve no evolutionary purpose”.
• “All those monsters violate the square-cube law”.
• “Teclis’s giant hat is wholly impractical”.
• “Those Slann would just shrivel, unless they only fight when it’s raining”.

The Roster

Of course, the fact that these wonders of science are so few means that the ones that survived do have legacies that span decades in glorious service to Sigmar and the Empire. The current listing is from the "Emperor's Wrath" splatbook from WFRP 4th Edition.

• Conqueror: The first of the tanks to ever be made, it's gone through many commanders, including Reiksmarshal Kurt Helborg too. Comes with the standard steam cannon and steam gun that the Reiksmarshal has ordered to become standard-issue among the other tanks.
• Deliverance: Served in the Great War Against Chaos, where it earned its name and gained many honours. Has also fought against Tomb Kings and Vampire Counts, where the current commander, Albrecht Sturnn, gained the moniker of "Vampire Killer". Is equipped with a second boiler carriage, improving its steam capacity at the cost of its maneuverability.
• Emperor's Wrath: Once escorted the citizens of Nuln fleeing from the wrath of an Orc warlord, earning it permanent privileges to be repaired at the city's expense. Currently part of Elector Count Boris Todbringer's crusade against the Drakwald. Used to have a Helblaster tri-gun, later weapons got swapped for the Conqueror setup.
• Indomitable: Formerly named the Sigmar's Hammer but was severely damaged during a campaign against the Norse and became famous for being a motorized battering ram. It was rechristened the Indomitable and its loadout changed to the default Conqueror loadout - despite the protests of the crew.
• Miragliano: Formerly called the Unrepentant before being bought by Baron von Helsing, a patron of the Imperial School of Engineers. Ever since, it's been experimented on, testing various loadouts. Currently has a Bazalgette gun-ring turret, a firing array of handguns that von Helsing made to replace the standard guns.
• Ol' Reliable: Driven by Otto von Meinkop, considered the most experienced tank commander in the Empire. Equipped with a Helblaster tri-gun.
• Unfehlbar: Apparently the Orcs think of this as some angry god. Comes with a mortar, making it suited to bombardment - but this is at the cost of protection as it's open-topped.
• Von Zeppel: More of a heavily-armoured war wagon than a tank, this is no coincidence as it was named after the inventor of the War Wagon. As such, it's equipped with no guns, but instead a fighting platform for people to ride atop it and occasionally poke a sucker with a spear or snipe them out with a rifle.

Age of Sigmar

Steam Tanks are still around in Age of Sigmar. Although no notable improvements have been made to the design of the tank itself, the forces of order actually understand how to build the damn thing now, with the human and duardin engineers of the Ironweld arsenal free to effectively mass produce tanks.

On The Tabletop

There's nothing else to say except get as many in your army as you can.

No, seriously. Just slap your general on a tank and you've unlocked Steam Tanks for Battleline units. Sure, it'll be a bit bland, but who cares?

Total War: WARHAMMER

Steam Tanks (Conqueror loadout) are the ultimate unit for the empire in Total War: WARHAMMER and in the campaign they're doomstack material. You can build an unlimited number of them, meaning that either they recovered the plans or some other genius managed to reverse-engineer them. You can also build Emperor's Wrath, more than one if you're patient.

Warcraft

Originally, Warcraft III had a heavily armoured siege unit called the Steam Tank for the Human Alliance faction. In-game, the unit is known for trolling other factions hard by just spamming the damn thing. Due to its heavy armor and high siege damage, spamming these toys can make your opponent rage about humans being OP. Thankfully, it can only attack buildings. Oh and it can attack multiple air units if it has been upgraded (goodbye Gargoyal-chan!).

However, its name and design (along with the Gyrocopter) were changed by Blizzard for the expansion and World of Warcraft, quite possibly as a result of being threatened with having large stacks of papers being thrown at them by GW's lawyers. They are henceforth known as the Siege Engine and Flying Machine. However, in modern World of Warcraft, they're still commonly called by the older names, much like some other things we know of.

Real Life

The US government experimented with this idea in 1918, building a functional prototype with a 370kw engine armed with a flamethrower, but ultimately turned it down.

Sound crazy? Well, yes and no. Back in the 1910's and 20's, steam tech was well developed, in fact steam tractors while uncommon were well proven, understood and powerful. In contrast sturdy high rpm gearboxes were still finicky. With no pressing need the US Army would ultimately wait and watch the trends in Europe.

Other than that, the Steam Tank is actually a reference to one of the infamous Leonardo Da Vinci's turtle tank blueprint. After all, Steam Tank IS invented by Leonardo da Miragliano, whom the character itself is a reference to the real life Da Vinci himself.

Gallery

• 

  The original GW Steam Tank kit.

• 

  The current GW kit.

• 

  Cathedral tanks? Check!

• 

  He doesn't even have to shoot anyone to make them keep advancing.

• 

  No, yours will never look this good. (if you want to try, it's a custom transfer made from the painting "The Triumph of Death")

• 

  The closest the Empire has ever come to victory over the Wood Elves.

• 

  A Steam Tank in Warhammer Online.

• 

  Yes, the US Army did try this idea out in real life.

• 

  The turtle shell tank blueprint drawn by Leonardo in real life. Sadly it's design is only good for intimidation than being an effective warmachine, for it's travel compartment isn't suit for traveling on rough surfaces.