Chakat: Difference between revisions
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==The Foul Threat== | ==The Foul Threat== | ||
In case it wasn't obvious from the above, Chakats are so bad that even other Furries wish to cause an [[Exterminatus]] on them via their mere presence; [[Cultist- | In case it wasn't obvious from the above, Chakats are so bad that even other Furries wish to cause an [[Exterminatus]] on them via their mere presence; [[Cultist-chan]] wishes she could inspire this kind of [[rage]]. The problem is that Chakats (or rather, fans thereof) routinely invade other spacefaring universe RPs and games, bringing with them this awesomesauce new race that they just HAVE to play as. | ||
Whilst Warhammer 40K has not been impervious to their foul attempts, the fact that every race in existence hates everyone else has done an amicable job of keeping the spread down. Wargames such as Wing Commander, Star Wars, and so on, however, have not been nearly as fortunate. If you encounter these deranged psychopaths, you are to finish them off immediately, or failing this, immediately contact the [[Commissar|Commissariat]]. | Whilst Warhammer 40K has not been impervious to their foul attempts, the fact that every race in existence hates everyone else has done an amicable job of keeping the spread down. Wargames such as Wing Commander, Star Wars, and so on, however, have not been nearly as fortunate. If you encounter these deranged psychopaths, you are to finish them off immediately, or failing this, immediately contact the [[Commissar|Commissariat]]. | ||
Revision as of 00:34, 27 February 2011
In every subculture, there are outcasts. Even Furries. The penultimate creation of deranged mental-patient Bernarde Doove, Chakats are a spacefaring genetically-engineered group of hermaphrodite Mary Sue Telepathic Space Cats that make your average Furry look as reasonable as Reasonable Daemonette. Widely mocked for their race being a group of flagrant Mary Sues, Chakats are an ideal example of a threat to every single internet subculture in existence; as despised by Furries as they are by fa/tg/guys and ca/tg/irls. Whilst they have roughly one-twelfth of one percent (and that's being generous) the exposure any other spacefaring subculture of any other existing universe, from Star Wars to the the 41st Millenium, fans, usergroups, and communities keep running into these fucking things, invariably with facepalm-worthy results.
Overview
Pair a cat-taur hermaphrodite with the sort of godless "we is superior" fluff provided by the likes of Matt Ward for the Ultramarines, and crank the dial to 11, and you get your average Chakat. Engineered to be perfect survivors and colonizers (according to their creator), they were also engineered to be attractive and psionically gifted with empathetic abilities, making them always able to understand everyone all the time. They are the most psychologically stable race in the universe and they can use their psychic abilities to listen to your thoughts from a solar system away. They are the strongest physically and for the most part perfect in every single wa*BLAM*
They prefer to be called by Hermaphroditic pronouns, such as Sie and Hir, but the Commissariat advises you to fuck that noise and grab a fucking gun. If /d/, /tg/, and fchan had a child, the Chakat would be the product of their sweaty lust, and all three would advocate immediate abortion before the abomination had a chance to fester. It is, perhaps, one of the only things in existence that furries and not-furries can agree upon.
The Foul Threat
In case it wasn't obvious from the above, Chakats are so bad that even other Furries wish to cause an Exterminatus on them via their mere presence; Cultist-chan wishes she could inspire this kind of rage. The problem is that Chakats (or rather, fans thereof) routinely invade other spacefaring universe RPs and games, bringing with them this awesomesauce new race that they just HAVE to play as.
Whilst Warhammer 40K has not been impervious to their foul attempts, the fact that every race in existence hates everyone else has done an amicable job of keeping the spread down. Wargames such as Wing Commander, Star Wars, and so on, however, have not been nearly as fortunate. If you encounter these deranged psychopaths, you are to finish them off immediately, or failing this, immediately contact the Commissariat.
On that note, fucking Bernarde Doove deserves to get brutally and mercilessly beaten up. Goddamn Chakats.
Gallery
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Wow.
