Chaos Android

A Chaos Android ready for combat.

"So here I sit, exploring: the ghost in this machine
The most expensive spirit-trap the world has ever seen.
You think it’s artificial, this Intelligence you’ve met.
But don’t start bragging ‘til you see the data that you get!"

– The Squatter, Leslie Fish

Squats, being space dorfs, invent all sorts of things on the fly. Weapons, spaceships, super-computers that take 400 years to process anything, and, given the sci-fi nature of Warhammer 40k, robots. Robots are the best companions Squats can have. They're obedient, mannered, practical, and come in handy in times of need. However, these very same robots were squatted along with the actual Squats. Making it a double-squatting.

In the old days of Oldhammer 40k, every race in the setting was an echo of their Fantasy counterpart. Naturally, the Squats were exempted from this rule, because they had their de-facto rivals; the Chaos Squats, who happen to also be engineers and computer geniuses, minus the bull-god, because they are subordinates to other Chaos factions. And wouldn't you know, they had their own "robots". Applying the Robotnik principle to their design, they stuck very tiny daemons to metal skeletons and called it a day. So they had Human-sized mechas serving the interest of the Chaos Gods.

The Chaos Androids as a concept are... a paradox, but also a vestige of what 40k once was; wacky fantasy IN SPESS. A snapshot of what the setting could've become down the line had GW stuck with the fantasy-in-space schtick. This is their story and their heritage.

What

"Today is National Kick Dreadnought Ass Day!"

So, you must be very confused as to what even is a Chaos Android. Well, allow us to shed some light on this very obscure army which never made it past First Edition.

So, along with the renowned Squats were the Chaos Squats. Like their "good" counterparts, they made tons of different contraptions, and unlike their fantasy counterpart, they obeyed the will of the Big Four. With their forge set either at the very edge of, or very close to the Warp, the technology of the Chaos Squats was influenced by the daemonic nature of their environment. Henceforth, a lot of their weapons rely on elements and other garbage generated by the Warp. Needless to say, their eldritch technology would make even a Mekboy shiver in fear.

One of their greatest achievements has to be the Chaos Android. Perfect pseudo-robots that are essentially miniature mechas. The way they function is very interesting. You see, the Chaos Squats hadn't developed any sort of AI, so instead of coding intelligence into them and essentially making them mindless, emotionless robots that directly serve Gods who use emotions to thrive, they decided to use daemons instead. You see, Chaos Androids are operated from the inside, being piloted by very tiny daemons. Not Nurglings, but some daemonic entities that are so tiny, they could fit inside METAL SKELLIES. This greatly puts the Chaos Androids above any other robot, since they possess some form of consciousness and are able to make decisions based on what their priorities are during their missions.

You might wonder if the daemons inside of them would make good candidates to be pilots, and you'd be right to think that they're not. But here's the thing; Chaos Squats were smart enough to figure that Daemons would hate being stuck inside literal boxes, and they would do anything in their power to escape. To counter that problem, the Chaos Squats made the daemons unable to disobey them. That's right. That essentially turns the Chaos Squats into pseudo-androids/pseudo-robots. Yes, the daemon wants to come out and kick the fuck out the Squat that put him in there, but he cannot really find the will to escape, and he feels this unbeatable urge to obey...

There's one small issue though;

Yes, Chaos Androids would theoretically obey you. But if they get the opportunity to betray you or pervert their orders, they would immediately take it. Daemons, even inside robotic pile of chromed bones, are still daemons. As it turns out, daemons hate being stuck inside metallic vessels in which they cannot feel a thing, and being forced to obey a bunch of beardy nerds. Their mischievous nature cannot be completely tamed and overcome, making the Androids practical but dubious allies. They are strong indeed and will obey you, but there's always a chance they will turn their back on you.

Daemon-fuckery aside, the technical aspects of the Chaos Androids are as follows;

• In spite of their anatomical appearance, they are completely devoid of flesh and, ironically, actual bones. Their body is entirely made out of plasteel. The very same metal used by the Imperium to create Terminator Armor.
• Inside of them can be found the many contraptions trapping their literal inner-daemon, preventing it from escaping or breaking the whole body apart.
• From the very little depictions of the Chaos Androids, it seems that each God or Chaos Army had their attributed set of Androids, many being usually tied to Khorne.
• Despite the engineering masterwork that they are, the Chaos Androids weren't given any sort of particular arsenal. They've been depicted as using lasguns, bayonets, and other sorts of weaponry already used by the Imperial Guard.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all that we know about the Chaos Androids.

Why

The first (and last) official appearance of the Chaos Androids on a boxset.

In the early years of Warhammer 40k, the initial project was to create a setting almost similar to Fantasy but IN SPACE, with various differences being made here and there. This was back when the setting was significantly more tongue-in-cheek and less grimdark than it is now, but also back when a lot of the factions being implemented were just straight rip-offs from Fantasy itself. Well, not quite literally.

You could see the Chaos Androids being the equivalent of Fantasy's Undead, with the sharp difference being that they obeyed the forces of Chaos and not their equivalent of then-not-Egyptian Nagash or Vampire Counts, and also not literally being skeletons. The biggest difference with the Undead, though, were that the Chaos Androids did not even count as their own factions. They served as reinforcements for Chaos and their stats weren't an echo to the Undead Legions.

The resemblance is uncanny.

There are very few words talking about the behind-the-scenes history of the Chaos Androids, but it's easy to assume that they were the prototype for what would become the Necrons.

Back in their early years, the Necrons had a more significant amount of personality and general goofiness given to their characters, as they literally looked like skeletons wearing a robot costume, with the lot of them having a lot more personality in their appearance, demeanor, and their general design not really evoking their Egyptian vibes. Once they were given their proper codex and background, GW definitely dropped the Androids in favor of them. And with time, they completely removed some of the elements that were reminiscent of the Chaos bots. Their personality and daemonic nature? Gone. . .at first anyway, personalitys at least for leaders came back a couple editions later. Their alignment with Chaos in general? Gone. Their general lack of motif in favor of visual plurality? Super gone. Eventually the Necrons looked like actual dead aliens with their own culture and weaponry, and not just an army of cartoon skeleton villains.

The Old Necrons, when they were more skelly than Egyptian.

So, the Chaos Androids wept along with the Chaos Squats and their non-Chaos brothers, never to be heard from again.

Unsquating the unsquatable

With the Squats coming back to kick some more ass, some have theorized that there could be a potential return of the Chaos Androids; in fact, there is a canon way to make them. It's as simple as putting daemon into one of the Leagues of Votann Ironkin (which we know can be done; that's how daemon engines are made, after all, by sticking and trapping daemons in machines) and BAM. It's actually very unlikely that they'll return officially but the conversion opportunity is there.

That being said, it's unknown what the Chaos God would think of this. Slaanesh for instance, wouldn't really appreciate to have his sensation/feeling-based demons being completely secluded from any form of touch or feeling, unless they're in a giant dildo. Tzeentch would probably tolerate the idea but only if it serves one of his plans. So, probably all the time. Nurgle doesn't have a good relationship with technology, and he tends to work with organic beings. So Chaos Androids might actually be Chaos... Cyborgs? Eh. Probably not.

Now, Khorne is an interesting case because one on hand, he does not care for who spoils the blood, but on the other, he hates pussies. So is using a metal compartment to fight a genuine approach to combat, or just a pussy move to have extra protection? Khorne to see the weak as just that, weaklings. But if his weaker demons could have a fighting chance in smaller mechas... Well then. That being said, it is often detailed that Daemons are put inside those machines against their will, which is a big massive no-no in Khorne's book. He's a bloodthristy tyranic god, but he's got a (albeit dubious) sense of honor. And he wouldn't let his demons being made prisonners.

And wherein lies the problem of the Chaos Androids by design in accordance to a possible alignment with the Big Four. The Daemons inside hate being in there, they constantly try to break free. Daemon Engines are made thanks to small unaligned daemons being shoved in amalgamations of machines and gears. Chaos Androids will sometime try to rebel. So unless the daemons grow to actually appreciate their new metal body, having an unreliable soldier who's sold to you as blindly obedient is a very bad deal for the Chaos Gods. That, plus neither Slaanesh, Tzeentch, Nurgle or Khorne would never allow their demons to be turned into fuel for machines. This is worthy of divine punishment. Yes, even for Papa Pestilence and the Blue Chicken.

Now, the minor Chaos Gods could see some use of the Androids. Vashtorr would be more than pleased to have those as parts of his army. I mean, hey, you get to enslave shit and have proto-robots as part of your corps? It's a free deal for him. Hell, Hashut would be all in on that with a side of fries! That is, IF he was in 40k. Though given the franchise-jumping nature of Chaos, that's probably possible. As for Malal and his pet gods Zuvassin and Necoho would... Erm... Uh...

In the Daemon 8th edition Codex, Vhostok Pistonhand of the Iron Warriors Traitor Legion had his entire planet of Diesos focus all its industry on making daemon engines for his army. His sorcerers summoned daemon after daemon and forcefully bound them to daemon engines. Apparently he overdid it because all four Chaos gods got pissed off at this and united in their outrage, each sending an entire daemon legion and conquering the planet within a month.