DOOMWHEELS

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DOOMWHEEL

Imagine a hamster in a hamster wheel. Now imagine that the hamster wheel is ten meters tall, fires nuclear-magic-laser beams that are powered by solidified hell energy, has a xenophobic insane ratman engineer with a gun on top and instead of a hamster it houses a pack of giant mutant rats hopped up on drugs and steroids (who are likely on fire and cannibalizing each other while running). That is the DOOMWHEEL. DOOMWHEEL is always written in all caps and is one of the only things in warhammer fantasy that's XTREME and METAL enough for Doomrider to look at. But who cares what Doomrider says, since it invariably loops back to cocaine, LSD, and whores.

DOOMWHEELS.

DOOMWHEELS are insanely popular among neckbeards. They are also notoriously unpopular among GeeDubs staff, and they axed them from the Skaven list. We made them regret that, and now DOOMWHEELS ARE COMING BACK. DOOMWHEELS ARE BACK. FUCK YEAH!

Total War WARHAMMER 2

How many DOOMWHEELS?

Not Enough DOOMWHEELS!

NEVER ENOUGH DOOMWHEEELS!

YES YES DOOMWHEEL ARE BACK BACK, KILL THOSE MAN-THING - DWARF-THING BECAUSE THEY ALL DIE DIE!!!!

An Ode to DOOMWHEEL

To be sung to the tune of the Theme Song to Team America.

DOOMWHEEL! FUCK YEAH!

ROLLIN' ALONG TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY, YEAH!

DOOMWHEEL! FUCK YEAH!

NOW IT'S ROLLING TOWARDS OUR LINE, YEAH!

IMPERIALIST, YOUR DAYS ARE AT AN END!

SCORCHED, RAMMED, FLATT'NED, TO MORR SEND!

DOOMWHEEL! FUCK YEAH!

Cue Warp-guitar solo.