Dark Eldar: Difference between revisions
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The same as the [[Eldar]], only they look like they came from a particularly bad S&M party. Subject of many, many sexual fantasies by teenagers incapable of looking at/relating to real women. Renowned for taking to battle on unstable cocktails of drugs which causes their elite forces to spend the bulk of the confrontation examining their own hands. They tend to spend most of their free time living inside giant wine jugs, and fear the coming of The Great Wine Press, where a huge one will descend upon their realm and squash them all to a pulp. Dark Eldar have even weaker amour then normal Eldar so a human could blow on Dark Eldar and kill them, this also goes for dark Eldar tanks which are renown for being made from papier maché, and being destroyed by sneezing in their general direction. | The same as the [[Eldar]], only they look like they came from a particularly bad S&M party. Subject of many, many sexual fantasies by teenagers incapable of looking at/relating to real women. Renowned for taking to battle on unstable cocktails of drugs which causes their elite forces to spend the bulk of the confrontation examining their own hands. They tend to spend most of their free time living inside giant wine jugs, and fear the coming of The Great Wine Press, where a huge one will descend upon their realm and squash them all to a pulp. Dark Eldar have even weaker amour then normal Eldar so a human could blow on Dark Eldar and kill them, this also goes for dark Eldar tanks which are renown for being made from papier maché, and being destroyed by sneezing in their general direction. | ||
Revision as of 13:21, 26 January 2010
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The same as the Eldar, only they look like they came from a particularly bad S&M party. Subject of many, many sexual fantasies by teenagers incapable of looking at/relating to real women. Renowned for taking to battle on unstable cocktails of drugs which causes their elite forces to spend the bulk of the confrontation examining their own hands. They tend to spend most of their free time living inside giant wine jugs, and fear the coming of The Great Wine Press, where a huge one will descend upon their realm and squash them all to a pulp. Dark Eldar have even weaker amour then normal Eldar so a human could blow on Dark Eldar and kill them, this also goes for dark Eldar tanks which are renown for being made from papier maché, and being destroyed by sneezing in their general direction.
What The Fuck Happened, Yo
To be brief, the Dark Eldar are those Eldar that decided to embrace the gentle, sensuous caress of Slaanesh after the Eye Of Terror was created. [[Slaanesh|They decided that continuous clusterfucking was pretty cool, and so continued to do so between capturing slaves and opening designer shops, gay bars and arteries.
The whole deal begins when the Eldar established an empire of their own in the galaxy. They became complacent, bored, and horny. Basically, they just fucked so goddamn much that they tore open the universe, which is pretty fucking hot. /r/ Rule 34, fuck yes.
What ACTUALLY Happened, For Serious
Macha got laid. Ages ago. She's been lying to us. The universe at large thought that this was an affront, and tore itself a new one in response. You silly fuckers, did you think that just by fucking, the Eldar race as a whole could create the Eye Of Terror?
Actually, it is far more likely that the C'tan did it. Hell, it's more likely that the 'nids did it. Macha will never get laid.
Likes
- "Playthings"
- Latex
- Whips
- Sex
- Drugs
- Rock'n'Roll
- S/M
- Anything with a hole or rod.
Dislikes
- Sunshine
- Puppies
- Flowers
- Not being stoned
