Dark Eldar: Difference between revisions
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<strike>To be brief, the Dark Eldar are those Eldar that decided to embrace the gentle, sensuous caress of Slaanesh after the [[Eye Of Terror]] was created. [[Slaanesh|They decided that continuous clusterfucking was pretty cool, and so continued to do so between capturing slaves and opening designer shops, gay bars and arteries]].</strike> HAHA, DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. In fact, Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh as he/she constantly leeches their souls. They fled into the webway to minimize his/her influence but they still need to replenish their own lost life-essence. They do this by taking slaves and consuming their souls, topping off their own and buying them some more time. | <strike>To be brief, the Dark Eldar are those Eldar that decided to embrace the gentle, sensuous caress of Slaanesh after the [[Eye Of Terror]] was created. [[Slaanesh|They decided that continuous clusterfucking was pretty cool, and so continued to do so between capturing slaves and opening designer shops, gay bars and arteries]].</strike> HAHA, DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. In fact, Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh as he/she constantly leeches their souls. They fled into the webway to minimize his/her influence but they still need to replenish their own lost life-essence. They do this by taking slaves and consuming their souls, topping off their own and buying them some more time. | ||
Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh, the whole torture aspect arose from their old pleasure cults and the observation that souls are "purified" by pain. | Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh, the whole torture aspect arose from their old pleasure cults and the observation that souls are "purified" by pain. These created/birthed/awakened (and thus predate) Slaanesh. So you could say that the Eldar were doing it before it was cool, and all those Slaaneshi demons just jumped on the bandwagon. | ||
The whole deal begins when the Eldar established an empire of their own in the galaxy. They became complacent, bored, and horny. Basically, they just fucked so goddamn much that they tore open the universe, which is pretty fucking hot. /r/ Rule 34, fuck yes. | The whole deal begins when the Eldar established an empire of their own in the galaxy. They became complacent, bored, and horny. Basically, they just fucked so goddamn much that they tore open the universe, which is pretty fucking hot. /r/ Rule 34, fuck yes. | ||
Revision as of 13:24, 27 October 2010
The same as the Eldar, only they look like they came from a particularly bad S&M party. Over 9,000 years ago Eldar were killing and raping each other, but then suddenly a wild Slaanesh appeared and fucked the shit up. Some Eldar decided to GTFO and started wearing chastity belts, but some were too used to BSDM and continued as usual. Subject of many, many sexual fantasies by teenagers incapable of looking at/relating to real women. Renowned for taking to battle on unstable cocktails of drugs which causes their elite forces to spend the bulk of the confrontation examining their own hands. Dark Eldar have even weaker amour then normal Eldar so a human could blow on Dark Eldar and kill them, this also goes for dark Eldar tanks which are renown for being made from papier maché, and being destroyed by sneezing in their general direction.
What The Fuck Happened, Yo
To be brief, the Dark Eldar are those Eldar that decided to embrace the gentle, sensuous caress of Slaanesh after the Eye Of Terror was created. They decided that continuous clusterfucking was pretty cool, and so continued to do so between capturing slaves and opening designer shops, gay bars and arteries. HAHA, DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. In fact, Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh as he/she constantly leeches their souls. They fled into the webway to minimize his/her influence but they still need to replenish their own lost life-essence. They do this by taking slaves and consuming their souls, topping off their own and buying them some more time.
Dark Eldar hate Slaanesh, the whole torture aspect arose from their old pleasure cults and the observation that souls are "purified" by pain. These created/birthed/awakened (and thus predate) Slaanesh. So you could say that the Eldar were doing it before it was cool, and all those Slaaneshi demons just jumped on the bandwagon.
The whole deal begins when the Eldar established an empire of their own in the galaxy. They became complacent, bored, and horny. Basically, they just fucked so goddamn much that they tore open the universe, which is pretty fucking hot. /r/ Rule 34, fuck yes.
What ACTUALLY Happened, For Serious
Macha got laid. Ages ago. She's been lying to us. The universe at large thought that this was an affront, and tore itself a new one in response. You silly fuckers, did you think that just by fucking, the Eldar race as a whole could create the Eye Of Terror?
Actually, it is far more likely that the C'tan did it. Hell, it's more likely that the 'nids did it. Macha will never get laid. Actually, Eldrad did it to troll the Galaxy.
Dating a Dark Eldar
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Buying this CD is Heresy!
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