Dark Sun

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A campaign setting made for AD&D 2nd edition back in '90. There are 3e conversions approved by WotC, but they were never published as books or anything. WotC recently released an updated version for 4e

Setting

The game is set in the world of Athas, a dying planet. Once full of happiness and sunshine, the planet was drained of all resources during the long and rich history the creators came up with. There is no water, no minerals, and no hope: only cannibal halflings, a lot of sand and a dying sun. The world is so fucked up it makes Mad Max's setting look like a hippie paradise. The only few realms remaining are fascist police city-states rule by wizards (all of them retarded evil, except Hamanu, who is a pimp served only by the hottest females in Urik and each day in his life is an orgy) who are no longer human at all. Beyond civilized lands everything eats everything. The best weapon you can find is the femur of your party's cleric after being eaten by something that looked like a rock and the best armor is mostly the remains of a giant roach. There are no gnomes, orcs, kobolds, or furrys because all of them where exterminated by guys who where so badass that the only explanation for their power is that they were the extradimensional offspring of Chuck Norris. They were: The Champions of Rajaat.

Races

Most of the generic fantasy races were exterminated a long time ago, good riddance!
This means no gnomes! First reason why this setting is full of win and awesome.

• Halfling - Cannibals who live in the remaining strips of forest.
• Elf - No forests for them, ha! They are desert nomads, thieving and griefing all the time.
• Dwarf - Almost typical dorfs, except they're bald and are even more fixated on their stuff.
• Mul - Half-dorfs! Second reason why this setting is full of win and awesome!
• Half-giant - Big bad meanies, with a lolrandom alignment
• Thri-kreen - Sentient mantis. Strange, scary folk. Like their elves raw.
• Dray - Horribly deformed dragon-people. Basically a failed magic experiment.
• Aarakocra - Sentient birds, for those who don't want to play anything normal, but hate bugs or lizards.
• Human - Sentient halfling, only larger.
• Pterran - Pterodactyl shamanistic retards that remind you of a certain cheesy villain from the X-men comic books.

Classes

• Clerics - There are no real gods in the setting, or in real life, so most clerics worship elements or quasi-elements. Druids serve nature spirits or some other stupidity. In a desert world, summoning water elementals will get you pussy until you realize that if you level up to much you become a true elemental too. Very nasty to be drank alive for being a water elemental.

• Gladiators - You know. Like the movie. Also one of the most overpowered classes in the times of AD&D, a low level gladiator could be the personification of a certain Frank Frazzeta illustration entitled "The Destroyer".

• Bards - Most bards sing songs and boost the other party members' rolls. Dark Sun bards will kill and poison you, and then maybe fuck your dead body.

• Templars - Replace Paladins, but more on the police side of things to the point they are like the Gestapo in Nazi occupied France. Worship the Sorcerer King who rules their city.

• Psionicists - Psionicists are considered accepted and normal in this setting. In fact, every PC is guaranteed to have at least one psionic power!

• Wizards - Two types exist in the setting, but everyone hates them both:
  • Defiler - Evil mages, who suck out the life force of things. When they level up enough, they usually have an allergic reaction called dragon metamorphosis.
  • Preserver - Pussies who love nature enough to choose a tree over a human life. Mages who are not manly enough to steal life force, so they sacrifice efficiency to keep the stuff around them alive. Unfortunately for them, the commoners think all wizards are the same. When they grow up enough to be considered bad ass they turn into the manta ray like aliens from Abyss.

Sorcerer-Kings

Sorcerer Kings were the jerks with teh biggest cocks and deepest resevoirs of hatred (read:racists) for everything. Except halflings. Or was it humans. SPOILER! These were usually the big bad dudes that Dark Sun campaigns revolved around killing. Unfortunately, in all his awesomesauce, author Troy Denning killed off most them in the rocking series The Prism Pentad, thus giving the campaign setting nothing left to live for. As a result TSR brought it out back and shot it while you cried in your mother's arms.

Most/all Sorcerer-kings were/are in various stages of Dragon metamorphasis, i.e. turning into a Dragon, you idiot. "Real" dragons don't exist on Athas, and only the most powerful Wizard/Psionicists with the help of handy forbidden lore could start on this journey to REAL ULTIMATE POWER! Side effects include deepening of voice, a bad case of scaly skin, and the desire to FUCKING KILL EVERYTHING. Which gave rise to the stupidest Dark Sun rule ever, via the rulebook Dragonkings, where a 25th level Dragon, if you were lucky/good enough to make it that far, WAS COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER BY THE DM UNTIL LEVEL 30. How fun is that shit. The reasoning being the Dragon entered a period called the "Animalistic Period", aka what happens to your bitch of a girlfriend once a month. And of course only the DM could properly protray that shit, moron. Go sit on the couch and shut up.

To expand their use as a plot device, each Sorcerer-King ruled a City-State. Except the Sorcerer-Queens, whom the men just let believe they were in control.

• Abalach-re The queen bitch of the City-State of Raam, this paranoid schizo cunt makes your gf look good by comparison.
• Andropinis He had egg shaped nostrils. He also wore a toga and ruled over the Greek inspired City-State of Balic.
• Hamanu Mr. Lionface. Not one of the original 13 Champions, he was the rule of Urik and a blatant homage to Hammurabi.
• Kalak You know your old, shriveled, power hungry grandfather? That's this guy. Ruler of Tyr before he his plan was discovered and foiled by a bunch of mingling kids and one talking dog.
• Lalali-Puy Ever time I see this name I think of a lolli-pop in a pussy. The hottest and most totally fuckable Sorcerer-Queen, and ruler of the barely civilized jungle town of Gulg.
• Nibenay Called the Shadow King. Either he really, really hated people and being seen, or he was too stupid to cast a simple glamour to NOT MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A DRAGON around his superstitious subjects. Ruler of the largest City-State of the same name, who was locked in a perpetual war with Gulg for some crazy strong blue balls. Or blue wood. Whatever.
• Tectuktitlay He's a ladykiller, he'll rip your heart out and throw it down the fucking ziggurat. Bird like in appearance, he was the Aztec inspired ruler of Drag. Er, Draj.

External links

Darksun Wiki - a wiki almost as empty as this one HERESY!*BLAM*

Athas.org - conversion for 3.5, scheduled to be complete just after 5e comes out. Sweet shit, it's actually finished!