Adeptus Mechanicus: Difference between revisions
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They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the [[Imperial Guard]], as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions. | They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the [[Imperial Guard]], as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions. | ||
Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read The Foundation saga and A Canticle for Leibowitz too many times and watched Tetsuo: The Iron Man and Tetsuo II: The Body Hammer too many times and after beating the crap out of the | Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read The Foundation saga and A Canticle for Leibowitz too many times and watched Tetsuo: The Iron Man and Tetsuo II: The Body Hammer too many times and after beating the crap out of the Void Dragon and trapping him in Mars he had the idea it would be cool have a church of people obsessed with greasy machines in the future instead of scientists and engineers. | ||
They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old laptops called "[[Standard Template Construct]]s" that have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and "high-tech for dummies" manuals). This is the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study to be an engineer (unless you have balls or are a spess mehreen artificer who make make something really good) in the [[Imperium]]: everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gibson and recorded in these STCs. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STCs found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than <s>Windows Vista or Windows ME</s> '''FUCKING WINDOWS 95!!!!!''' so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic. | They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old laptops called "[[Standard Template Construct]]s" that have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and "high-tech for dummies" manuals). This is the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study to be an engineer (unless you have balls or are a spess mehreen artificer who make make something really good) in the [[Imperium]]: everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gibson and recorded in these STCs. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STCs found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than <s>Windows Vista or Windows ME</s> '''FUCKING WINDOWS 95!!!!!''' so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic. |
Revision as of 02:20, 8 March 2011
The Adeptus Mechanicus is an organization in the Imperium of Man responsible for technology, engineering and most of the Imperium's Industrial production, as well as the operation of the Titan Legions. The Adeptus Mechanicus controls thousands of forge worlds (think about any death metal/industrialist band CD illustration obsessed with heavily industrialized landscapes and you will get a bit close to the idea). Forge worlds are covered in massive manufactorums (manufactori?) or, as they are known to speakers of Low Gothic, 'work'. The largest forge world of the Adeptus Mechanicus is Mars, on which the most badass weapons ever known to man are made. Common belief holds that they're pants-on-head retarded because they supposedly treat technology like magic, the reason is because they think machines have souls of their own, for example, the reason why the microwave doesn't work is it is tired of heating that high in cholesterol freeze food.
They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the Imperial Guard, as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions.
Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read The Foundation saga and A Canticle for Leibowitz too many times and watched Tetsuo: The Iron Man and Tetsuo II: The Body Hammer too many times and after beating the crap out of the Void Dragon and trapping him in Mars he had the idea it would be cool have a church of people obsessed with greasy machines in the future instead of scientists and engineers.
They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old laptops called "Standard Template Constructs" that have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and "high-tech for dummies" manuals). This is the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study to be an engineer (unless you have balls or are a spess mehreen artificer who make make something really good) in the Imperium: everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gibson and recorded in these STCs. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STCs found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista or Windows ME FUCKING WINDOWS 95!!!!! so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic.
Very very very very very rarely the adeptus will actually invent something. While they do adapt designs occasionally the only things they actually invented from scratch is the lascannon and all the titans except for the Reaver Class and the Apocalypse Class, which were invented during the Age of Strife and the Dark Age of Technology respectively. Which is pretty odd, until you realise that they invented them preheresy
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D'awwww.
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D'awwww.
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PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH!