Fulgrim

Fulgrim in all his psychotic, bishōnen hawtness.

Fulgrim is the Primarch of the Emperor's Children traitor legion and a daemon prince.

Pre-heresy he was the HAWTEST goddamn ass hole in the galaxy; he was so hot, that his residual HAWTNESS made the rest of humanity the HAWTEST race in the galaxy. Therefore, all the ugly xenos had to fucking die for the crime of not being human and therefore HAWT. We keep saying "was" because of the fact that he's now a giant snake daemon-prince thingy that barely resembles anything of human perfection or hawt.

For a while his soul was stuck in a painting. LOLWUT... and a greater daemon possessed his body and made him do some pretty fucked up things even by the standards of an Astartes following Slaanesh, which is saying a lot. Fulgrim has full control of his body again , or at least that's what he says. (Because Chaos has always been honest and trustworthy, amirite?)

Angron thinks that he's a prissy little faggot and regularly pays his daemonworld visits where he pummels Fulgrim's four armed snake ass into a bloody pulp and generally makes a mockery of Slaanesh in general. Or so Khorne fanboys would have you believe as they constantly rant on about how Angron "GETS SHIT DONE!" and conveniently ignore that whilst Fulgrim has slain not one but TWO FUCKING PRIMARCHS (well, one and a half), Angron's Primarch body count currently stands at ZERO. However, he did beat the shit out of Leman Russ; the guy whose job it is to kill Primarchs.

Anyway, Fulgrim is trapped crying in a painting while Angron's mind is his own. So, yes, Slaaneshi do indeed suck. Also, he got fucked in the ass by a medieval torture instrument in the latest Black Library book. This is CANON!

He will be the second Primarch to receive his own miniature: more news as follows.

Youth

Like his brother Primarchs the infant Fulgrim was abducted by the 4 gods of chaos that weren't really into the whole Primarch thing. And like his brother Primarchs he was eventually thrown onto a planet of his own since the 4 gods found out that raising infant primarchs really wasn´t worth the trouble, especially when you can get some other suckers to do it for you.

Fulgrim landed on the planet Chemos, whose people had been dependent on interstellar trade to make everything work (basically it was bunch of lazy people). So when the Eldar started to fuck around and creating huge warpstorms, the people was more or less fucked as the planet didn´t have the resources to sustain such a large population. When baby Fulgrim landed the planets resources had been so stretched that any orphan found was normally killed as to not put further strain on the planets dwindling resources. Indeed the scouts that found him during a storm debated the very thing as to whether or not they should kill the infant. In hindsight if they had done it Ferrus Manus might still be alive, but then Roboute Gulliman would also be around and kicking, so it's debatable as to whether or not killing him would have been the right thing to do.

Unfortunately for the scout arguing for the death of the infant, the infant Primarch was equipped with a little failsafe called adorable cuteness that made most people want to protect him. So the unlucky scout got the knife... literally. The two remaining scouts named the infant Fulgrim in honor of one of the ancient gods of Chemos. Bet that did worlds of good for the Primarchs already bloated ego. How the scouts where able to persuade the leaders of the planet to keep the young Fulgrim alive is unknown, but since the story doesn´t mention any more killing the scouts properly didn´t use the knife argument.

The story then takes the usual Primarch route. Fulgrim started to work, got better, improved the living standards of the planet and eventually became its ruler. Being the ruler and actually managing to show the lazy bastards of Chemos how to do actual work the planet started to produce surplus once again. Without the immediate threat of starvation Fulgrim reintroduced art and music to the people of Chemos, though knowing Fulgrim's taste it’s highly unlikely that the art would be comicbooks and the music being heavy metal. All in 50 years, just in time for the Emperor to come and kick Fulgrim off his lazy ass and make him join the navy/great crusade.

Terra

And that's two.

Despite the Great Crusade being well underway Fulgrim and the Emperor went back to Terra to reunite Fulgrim with his legion, why he didn´t bring them along so they could get going is anybody’s guess. When they finally reached Terra, Fulgrim was introduced to his legion and discovered that some of the guys working of the III legion´s geneseed where a bunch of clumsy asshole. Some accident had reduced the geneseeds of the III Legion had been destroyed so that only 200 remained and without the Primarch, it had been a slow and laborious process of repairing the damage.

But never let it be said that Fulgrim didn´t know how to bounce back from any hit, as he met his legion he made the customary speech to his “children” and named them The Emperor´s Children. The Emperor already ginormous ego was pleased by this speech, so he “allowed” Fulgrim and his legion to use the symbol of the sign of the Aquila as their symbol, never let it be said that the Emperor doesn´t reward those who strokes his ego pleasingly. As all other Primarchs his legion quickly gave him a nickname and since Fulgrim in their eyes had risen their legion from the ashes, Fulgrim got the name the Phoenician and as all other Primarchs his brothers had a nickname for him to, since Fulgrim liked to dress in one more outlandish costume after another (it got so bad it would make even Lady Gaga say maybe you should tone it down a bit) they gave him the name: Peacock (this name would also be used to describe the nature of his legion when not in battle).

How long it took Fulgrim to get his legion back on track has been, has been forgotten but Fulgrims Flagship where completed 160 years before the Horus Heresy, so he probably took some time as no Primarch wants to be seen dead without his flagship. Unfortunately for Fulgrim, The Emperor couldn´t sit around and wait for Fulgrim to finish his work in bringing the Emperor´s Children back to full strength, so Fulgrims legion were merged with Horus´s Lunar Wolves till they were ready to go out on their own.

As all other Primarchs Fulgrim had his up and down with the other Primarchs some he got close to and others he kept at a distance. Among his closest friends were Horus (seriously did every Primarch instantly like this guy? I know he was with Horus till his legion were back at full strength but even so) and Ferrus Manus, whom he nicknamed the Gorgon whom he sheared a closer friendship with then the rest of his brothers.

Their first meeting was on Terra beneath Mount Narodnya (why does every bloody thing on terra have to be placed under a mountain or other such crazy thing, it only shows that the Emperor didn´t know shit about building things, since all it would take is one great earthquake and the entire thing would collapse), the greatest Forge of the Urals, where Ferrus Manus was busy toiling with the forge-masters who had once served the Terrawatt Clan during the Unification Wars soon after his arrival from Medusa. The Primarch of the Iron Hands had been demonstrating his phenomenal skill and the miraculous powers of his liquid metal hands when Fulgrim, the Primarch of the III Legion, the Emperor's Children, and his elite Phoenix Guard, had descended upon the sprawling forge complex. Neither Primarchs had meet each other before, but when they meet each other they immediately felt a kinship, either that or the fact that each of them were 2,5 meters tall, one an albino the other with living metal all over his hands and that all artisans in the room immediately prostrated themselves in front of them, might have been a pretty HUGE clue.

When Ferrus Manus later told of what had happened beneath Mount Narodnya, he said that Fulgrim had come claiming that he had come to forge the most perfect weapon ever created for The Great Crusade. Ferrus Manus ever prideful could not let such boast go unchallenged (if he had been less prideful, he might have been a head taller than he is today oh and not to forget the most important thing ALIVE!) laughing in Fulgrims face Ferrus Manus answered Fulgrims boast by declaring that such pasty hands as Fulgrims could never forge anything.”

Fulgrim accepted the challenge with regal grace (yeah right and pigs can fly and the Emperor Isn´t a homicidal bastard that deserved everything he got, when Horus eventually beat the snot out of him) and both Primarch stripped to the waist, making every female and males (who bent that way) artisan swoon in pleasure.

For three months the Primarchs worked unceasingly at the forge till at last their weapons where complete. Fulgrim had forged an exquisite warhammer -- Forgebreaker -- that could level a mountain with a single blow, and Ferrus Manus a golden bladed sword -- Fireblade -- that forever burned with the fire of the forge. Well never let it be said that both Primarchs didn´t appreciate fine craftsmanship Fulgrim declared that Fireblade equal of that borne by the legendary hero Nuada Silverhand and Ferrus sworn that only the mighty thunder gods of Nordyc legend were fit to bear such a magnificent warhammer. Without a word the two exchanged weapons, unknown at the time was the fact that Fulgrim would later use Forgebreaker to beat Ferrus to a bloody pulp when Ferrus stubbornly refused to join Horus´s rebellion.

It was after the whole affair beneath Mount Nerodnya that Fulgrim came up with the Ferrus´s nickname. Arriving at the Imperial palace Sanguinius of the Blood Angels had arrived bearing gifts from his home world of Baal. Exquisite statues from the glowing rock of Baal, priceless gem-stones and wondrous artefacts of aragonite, opal and tourmaline. The lord of the Blood Angels had brought enough to fill a dozen wings of the Palace with the greatest wonders imaginable (apparently Sanguinius tried to imitate Fulgrims trick of stroking the Emperor´s ego). Fulgrim was ecstatic of the wonders Sanguinius had brought, but Ferrus Manus having little time for such things declared that such frivolities was a waste of time when there was still a galaxy out there to conquer Fulgrim answered this by saying that Ferrus was a terrible old Gorgon, the nickname stuck and word had it that Ferrus became rather fond of the Nickname (might have something to do with his own legion calling him the Medusan, Greek metrology look it up).

Well Fulgrim couldn´t hang around Terra all day and having already been merged with the Lunar wolves they set off on The Great Crusade

Great Crusade

It was during the Great Crusade that some of Fulgrims great flaws became apparent, He was very prideful and didn´t take critique very well in fact whenever he asked for advice all he really wanted was for someone to stroke his ego like he had stroked The Emperor´s, also he was TERRIBLE at keeping a secret. This became apparent when soon after locating Konrad Curze The Nighthunter, Fulgrim was put in charge of educating Konrad to the Imperial standards and the task of leading a legion. When Konrad became plagued with one of his frequent visions (this one of the Horus Heresy) he made the mistake of confiding his secret to Fulgrim believing him to be able to keep it a secret from the others. Unfortunately it would have been best for both Konrad and Rogal Dorn, if Fulgrim had actually knew how to keep his big mouth shut, which he didn´t. Hardly had Konrad confided in Fulgrim, than Fulgrim had run of and told it all to Rogal Dorn.

Rogal wasn´t late in reacting to this instead of chiding Fulgrim for not keeping something told in confidence a secret, he immediately went over to Konrad asking what the big idea was with all that nonsense, this made Konrad go berserk and claw Rogals face to bloody pulp, which got Konrad sent into house arrest all because Fulgrim didn´t know how to keep his mouth shut.

Fulgrims greatest flaw however was the search for perfection in everything, something that in the end lead him down the path that would eventually see him betraying the very man whose ego he had so meticulously stroked, killing Ferrus Manus, getting trapped by a demon in his own body, escaping the prision by becoming drug addict, merging with the demon and pissing off Perturabo, sodomizing innocent civilians on terra and last but not least mortally wounding Roboute Guilliman (well at least some good came of it).

Gameplay: Fulgrim is very good at fighting both rank and file and HQ's due to his high initative granting extra attacks and his good save in close combat. He also has an easy time getting to combat thanks to his speed and can adapt to any situation with his changeable and chooseable warlord traits.

Horus Heresy

During the heresy, Fulgrim tried to persuade Horus to stop his heresy, but then Horus somehow managed to coerce Fulgrim into joining him which some fa/tg/uys suspect that it was a promise of untold amounts of drugs and buttsecks. After he rebelled he killed Ferrus Manus his bestest friend. Then the Daemon possessing his sword said sweet nothings into his ear promising he'd off Fulgrim and ease his pain.....A Sword, that talks to you in your head, is promising not to fuck you over. Riiiiight. Fulgrim gets his soul squashed, paintings get haunted, etc etc etc. (Or not? Black Library loves fucking with brains.)

On an interesting note, Horus promises to save his brother from his fate, which is insane since he just spent all day fucking over everyone else. (Horus, he crazy)

Then some kind of Evileeee-hee fucking Slaaneshi daemon took over his body and turned him into a giant painting (a giant painting painted with shit, blood, and rotting corpses) in a shitty old closet where Slaanesh stores his/her/its dildos. (He claims to have exorcised the daemon from himself, but was forced to admit that he was lying when Lorgar threatened to expose his posession to the other traitor Legions.)

Theeeeen he turned into a 4-armed snake wielding poisoned blades who has no personality whatsoever. Yeah, I don't quite understand that part either. (Horus Heresy updates are sure to come later.....as with everything else in this god damn article.)

By the way he's the primarch of the Emperor's Children.

Oh there's a bit more then just that... Fulgrim is like fucking retarded... he picks up a sword made by Xenos, which just whispers 24/7 "FUCK EVERYONE TO DEATH!!!" in his head all the time because of the fact that it was possessed by a Slaaneshi Greater Daemon, and Fulgrim is like "This is a completely normal sword that is not telling me to FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES TO DEATH!" and everyone believes him. Even after Elrad himself says the sword is fucking insane and is trying to make him like fuck himself and the whole galaxy to death, Fulgrim is like "NAH-Ah YOUR MOMA'S INSANE, BITCH!" And then right when the Heresy kicks off and Slaanesh starts fucking about in his body, Fulgrim is all like "I'M SOO FUCKING STUPID!!! AND I'M STUCK IN THIS PAINTING BECAUSE I'M A RETARD!".

TL-DR: Fulgrim's sword fucked him in the ass; this makes him asinine, especially considering the fact that he used it to kill his best friend, a man who could punch weapons into existence with his bare (metal) hands.

Despite everything about him that screams "flaming homo" and/or "Anime Character", he did get shit done in the heresy/post-heresy killing two other Primarchs which is pretty badass. In fact, we all should be grateful he put Grand daddy smurf in stasis.

Gallery

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  The face that launched a 1,000 slashfics. The sad part is that dialogue is lifted directly from a Horus Heresy book.

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  One sexy and psychopathic bastard.

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  Here he's an ugly bald old man covered in scars. NOT HAWT. Also he has black wings for some reason. ORIGINAL WINGS DO NOT STEAL

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  Ferrus is such a troll. From a Horus Heresy book too.

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  His perfection will drive you to the point of orgasm.

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  The vidya geam

The Primarchs of the Space Marine Legions
Loyalist Corvus Corax - Ferrus Manus - Jaghatai Khan Leman Russ - Lion El'Jonson - Roboute Guilliman Rogal Dorn - Sanguinius - Vulkan
Traitor Alpharius/Omegon - Angron - Fulgrim Horus - Konrad Curze/Night Haunter - Lorgar Magnus the Red - Mortarion - Perturabo