Garruk Wildspeaker: Difference between revisions
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A [[Planeswalker]] from [[Magic the Gathering|Magic: the Gathering]], specializing in Green magic. Is fukkin huge. Really, really huge. Like Primarch huge. It turns out that he started out just as a normal dude and all that green mana is the world's most awesome protein shake and made him swole beyond all plausibility. In more recent times he's had a mild case of the evils, the result of [[Liliana Vess]] ([[Hag|Ms. Hot Sex]] herself) getting some black mana on his rocking man-abs. Since then he's been trying to kill her with no obvious success. | A [[Planeswalker]] from [[Magic the Gathering|Magic: the Gathering]], specializing in Green magic. Is fukkin huge. Really, really huge. Like Primarch huge. It turns out that he started out just as a normal dude and all that green mana is the world's most awesome protein shake and made him swole beyond all plausibility. In more recent times he's had a mild case of the evils, the result of [[Liliana Vess]] ([[Hag|Ms. Hot Sex]] herself) getting some black mana on his rocking man-abs. Since then he's been trying to kill her with no obvious success. | ||
Once the poster-boy for green walkers, he has since had a long time getting replaced, first by [[Nissa]], then by [[Vivien Reid]]. WoTC (or at least Mark Rosewater) has confirmed they have something big coming up for the big guy eventually, and that fans will just have to wait to catch up on his quivering abs. | Once the poster-boy for green walkers, he has since had a long time getting replaced, first by [[Nissa]], then by [[Vivien Reid]]. WoTC (or at least Mark Rosewater) has confirmed they have something big coming up for the big guy eventually, and that fans will just have to wait to catch up on his quivering abs. As of September 4 2019 Garruk has been confirmed to be appearing in the upcoming '''Throne of Eldraine''' expansion. Insert joke about Garruk being Shrek here. | ||
[[Image:garruk-wildspeaker.jpg|200px|right|thumb|He's from ****ing Brooklyn]] | [[Image:garruk-wildspeaker.jpg|200px|right|thumb|He's from ****ing Brooklyn]] | ||
{{Template:Planeswalkers}} | {{Template:Planeswalkers}} | ||
Revision as of 13:06, 4 September 2019
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A Planeswalker from Magic: the Gathering, specializing in Green magic. Is fukkin huge. Really, really huge. Like Primarch huge. It turns out that he started out just as a normal dude and all that green mana is the world's most awesome protein shake and made him swole beyond all plausibility. In more recent times he's had a mild case of the evils, the result of Liliana Vess (Ms. Hot Sex herself) getting some black mana on his rocking man-abs. Since then he's been trying to kill her with no obvious success.
Once the poster-boy for green walkers, he has since had a long time getting replaced, first by Nissa, then by Vivien Reid. WoTC (or at least Mark Rosewater) has confirmed they have something big coming up for the big guy eventually, and that fans will just have to wait to catch up on his quivering abs. As of September 4 2019 Garruk has been confirmed to be appearing in the upcoming Throne of Eldraine expansion. Insert joke about Garruk being Shrek here.
| Planeswalkers of Magic: The Gathering | |
|---|---|
| Original Five: | Ajani Goldmane - Chandra Nalaar Garruk Wildspeaker - Jace Beleren - Liliana Vess |
| Alara: | Elspeth Tirel - Nicol Bolas - Sarkhan Vol - Tezzeret |
| Zendikar: | Gideon Jura - Nissa Revane - Sorin Markov |
| Scars of Mirrodin: | Karn - Koth of the Hammer - Venser |
| Innistrad: | Tamiyo - Tibalt - Davriel Cane |
| Return to Ravnica: | Domri Rade - Ral Zarek - Vraska |
| Theros: | Ashiok - Kiora - Xenagos - Calix |
| Tarkir: | Ugin - Narset |
| Kaladesh: | Dovin Baan - Saheeli Rai |
| Amonkhet: | Samut |
| Other: | Dack Fayden - Vivien Reid - Kaya |
| Commander 2014: | Daretti - Freyalise - Nahiri - Ob Nixilis - Teferi |
| Pre-mending: | Bo Levar - Commodore Guff - Jaya Ballard - Urza |
| Forgotten Realms: | Ellywick Tumblestrum - Bahamut - Lolth - Zariel - Mordenkainen |
| Planeswalker Groups: | The Gatewatch |