Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

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DAKKA GOES WHERE?

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter is an Ork Warboss and one of the primary recurring characters of the Dawn of War games, having featured in every expansion since his introduction in Winter Assault. In every case, he is the leader of the Ork faction. Gorgutz is unusually crafty for an Ork, and always ensures he has some method of escaping in the event that whatever WAAAGH he is leading happens to be defeated, conveniently reappearing some time later at the head of another WAAAGH (and in another expansion) somewhere else in the galaxy.

Gorgutz takes the appellation "'Ead 'Unter" thanks to his fondness for collecting the decapitated heads of significant foes. When questioned why he collects his foes' heads, he replied that heads look better impaled upon sharp sticks rather than feet.

Anuvva retelling

Gorgutz was da biggest and da strongest Ork on dat dere iceworld of Lorn V and he thought it would be fun to smash up dose spiky boy Chaos gits. Just as he wuz getting started on dat dough dem scrawny Imperial Guard boyz showed up an’ Gorgutz realised dat deir leada had enough Grit ta make a much better head fur ‘is pointy-stick. ‘As to be the ‘ed as dat is where tha skull iz, and you’d look pretty stupid with someones foot on yer stik.

Tings went quite well, dere was some good fighting and poncy Eldar and some of dose Necron-boyz showed up to get deir stompin’ but dere were not enuff heads on Gorgutz’s stik so he decided to head for Kronos.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade General Alexander was sent to Kronos in pursuit of Farseer Taldeer. This means Gorgutz did not get her head and probably did not get General Sturnn’s or Alexander would have had that as a second reason for the pursuit.)

Kronos wuz fun. Not only were dere more pointy Chaos boyz to fight dere were also Space Marines and some of those Tau wusses. Wuz great fun watching a Squiggoth and a Greata Knarlox ‘avin’ a fight. Only problem wuz dat some of those Imperial Guard wimps had followed and Gorgutz had enuff normal humie heds already. Den dose Space Marines spoiled the fun more by beating up da Imperial Guard insteda leaving dem for Gorgutz’s boyz and den by being rather too good at beating up Gorgutz’s boyz as well. ‘ad to blow up da base and go froo da tunnels.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II it was the Blood Ravens who attacked and conquered Victory Bay and as the Kronos Campaign is remembered as going well and their goal of recovering relics seemed to have been achieved the Blood Ravens likely won on Kronos. Boo.)

Dere were some super tough Orks on a planet in the Kor-ruvva system but dey dat were da ones kept on running back to dere Ork-hold in sum mountains whenevva dey got a little beat up. Gorgutz decided to go and see if They could be made more Orklike. This was a mixed success as all-dough dey managed to beat up sum Space Marine gitz de Imperial Guard boyz were ravva tuff an’ had a lot of dem big dakka tanks. Still, if dose Orks could be beaten up by humies dey were not much loss so after killing their leada’ Gorgutz wandered off to find da next fight.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II the Blood Ravens remember Commander Boreale’s campaign in the Kaurava system with shame, which they would if rather than the Blood Ravens dealing with the Ork problem the Orks dealt with them. Vance Stubbs though shipped a hundred Baneblades to other provinces, which makes about 4 for every territory on the map and even De mighty Gorgutz could only beat up three at a time, which left the other one to beat up the rest of his army, unless dose tankbustaz boys were in da right places.)