Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

DAKKA GOES WHERE?

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter is an Ork Warboss and one of the primary recurring characters of the Dawn of War games, having featured in every expansion since his introduction in Winter Assault. Confusingly, he is the leader of the Ork faction in each game. Gorgutz is unusually crafty for an Ork, and always ensures he has some method of escaping in the event that whatever WAAAGH he is leading happens to be defeated, conveniently reappearing some time later at the head of another WAAAGH (and in another expansion) somewhere else in the galaxy. Gogutz and Kaptin Bluddflagg are probably tied with Eliphas for the best fucking awesome characters ever.

Gorgutz takes the appellation "'Ead 'Unter" thanks to his fondness for collecting the decapitated heads of significant foes. When questioned why he collects his foes' heads, he replied that heads look better impaled upon sharp sticks rather than feet.

It is worth noting that Gorgutz was voiced by Brian Drummond. Who is notable as the voice of Vegeta in Dragonball Z and is the creator of OVER 9000!! Whether this is hilariously awesome or fail is a matter of some contention, though experts espouse that it's both (and thus both fail and hilariously awesome). Fittingly enough, Gorgutz' HP does indeed go over 9000 when he's upgraded with wargear, which is either a [[This Guy|clever reference[[ or derp depending upon whom you ask.

Anuvva retelling

Gorgutz was da biggest and da strongest Ork on dat dere iceworld of Lorn V and he thought it would be fun to smash up dose spiky boy Chaos gits. Just as he wuz getting started on dat dough dem scrawny Imperial Guard boyz showed up an’ Gorgutz realised dat deir leada had enough Grit ta make a much better head fur ‘is pointy-stick. ‘As to be the ‘ed as dat is where tha skull iz, and you’d look pretty stupid with someones foot on yer stik.

Tings went quite well, dere was some good fighting and poncy Eldar and some of dose Necron-boyz showed up to get deir stompin’ but dere were not enuff heads on Gorgutz’s stik so he decided to head for Kronos.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade General Alexander was sent to Kronos in pursuit of Farseer Taldeer. This means Gorgutz did not get her head and probably did not get General Sturnn’s or Alexander would have had that as a second reason for the pursuit.)

Kronos wuz fun. Not only were dere more pointy Chaos boyz to fight dere were also Space Marines and some of those Tau wusses. Wuz great fun watching a Squiggoth and a Greata Knarlox ‘avin’ a fight. Only problem wuz dat some of those Imperial Guard wimps had followed and Gorgutz had enuff normal humie heds already. Den dose Space Marines spoiled the fun more by beating up da Imperial Guard insteda leaving dem for Gorgutz’s boyz and den by being rather too good at beating up Gorgutz’s boyz as well. ‘ad to blow up da base and go froo da tunnels.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II it was the Blood Ravens who attacked and conquered Victory Bay and as the Kronos Campaign is remembered as going well and their goal of recovering relics seemed to have been achieved the Blood Ravens likely won on Kronos. Boo.)

Dere were some super tough Orks on a planet in the Kor-ruvva system but dey dat were da ones kept on running back to dere Ork-hold in sum mountains whenevva dey got a little beat up. Gorgutz decided to go and see if They could be made more Orklike. This was a mixed success as all-dough dey managed to beat up sum Space Marine gitz de Imperial Guard boyz were ravva tuff an’ had a lot of dem big dakka tanks. Still, if dose Orks could be beaten up by humies dey were not much loss so after killing their leada’ Gorgutz wandered off to find da next fight.

(According to the plotline for Dawn of War II the Blood Ravens remember Commander Boreale’s campaign in the Kaurava system with shame, which they would if rather than the Blood Ravens dealing with the Ork problem the Orks dealt with them. Vance Stubbs though shipped a hundred Baneblades to other provinces, which makes about 4 for every territory on the map and even De mighty Gorgutz could only beat up three at a time, which left the other one to beat up the rest of his army, unless dose tankbustaz boys were in da right places.)

Gorgutz never reappeared in Dawn of War II, having been replaced by two Warboss Bonesmasha's, and then the Kunnin' Kaptin Bluddflagg. We can only hope that Gorgutz hires out Kaptin Bluddflagg in Dawn of War 3.

Combat Ability

When Gorgutz gets all his wargear in Dark Crusade and Soulstorm he is absolutely fucking deadly in combat as he has an absolutely FUCKHUEG hit point count (somewhat bigger in Dark Crusade than in Soulstorm as his Banner increased his health in the former game but not the latter) which can be made even larger by getting the tougher bosses upgrade, he will be ridiculously fast (for someone with such stubby legs like him any way), do FUCKHUEG amounts of damage to all armor types in melee(according to the wargear screen, he'll do 578 base damage per hit in melee as he has more melee damage improving wargear upgrades than anyone else HAHA DISREGARD THAT ELIPHAS DOES 621 DAMAGE PER HIT), deal huge amounts of damage at range (270 something per hit...that is if he could hit while moving...damn 15% on the move accuracy), does constant Morale damage with his skull rack, and will count as a waaagh! banner with the banner (duh), but in soulstorm he will also decrease the recruiting time of your units; which is awesome as it allows you to crank out orks more quickly.

Gorgutz is capable of beating any-other fully-upgraded commander in Dawn of War with five exceptions: Either Necron Lord, should they take Lightning Field, Will do the bulk of Gorgutz' meaty damage back to him and ergo fuck Gorgutz' shit up (especially if he has Phylactery as well) and he can simply obliterate Gorgutz if he uses the essence of the Nightbringer ((Actually the fully upgraded necron lord will pretty easily kill pretty much any of the other commanders in a fair fight, especially with the right artifacts, and especially in soulstorm where he becomes even more ridiculously overpowered)), and Eliphas is capable of flat-out demolishing even Gorgutz due to his knockback immunity and access to Daemonic strength and higher raw damage. Carron isn't quite as capable of fucking up Gorgutz' shit, because he isn't as powerful in melee (Eliphas is considerably stronger damage-wise, in exchange for Carron being able to inflict a lot more morale damage), but he can still mess Gorgutz up, coming away with slightly more HP at the end of a fight between the two (again, knockdown immunity).

Ironically, the Daemon Prince forms of both Carron and Eliphas are incapable of defeating Gorgutz in close-combat due to Gorgutz' high anti-Daemon damage. Finally, Caerys in Soulstorm is capable of being a cheesy cunt, since her upgraded pistol can one-shot kill Gorgutz if he gets under 20% HP, which makes sense considering it belonged to a huge dick. Of course, if you are lucky you can kill her before it ever gets to that.

He will be able to practically steamroll entire bases on his own and will be an excellent commander killer, and in a pinch he can really help out when you take on those pesky relic units. He has two indestructible modes, ranged and attached to Flash Gitz, or melee and attached to Nobs. Both are totally rapetastic.