Grimdark Songwriting

Observing some striking correlations between the songs found in children's movies and the 40K universe, people on /tg/ sometimes adapt these songs to bring out their true grimdark potential.

Don't spontaneously edit existing works without asking the author. Jerks.

Disney Adaptations

The most popular segment to be subjected to grimdarkification, Disney songs seem to lend themselves well to the total despair of the 41st millenium.

Pocahontas: Savages

-Part 1-
[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
What can you expect
From filthy little xenos?
Their whole disgusting race is like a curse
For them no tears we shed
They're only good when dead
They're vermin, as I said
And worse

[Grey Knights]
They're aliens! Aliens!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
They're not even human

[Grey Knights]
Aliens! Aliens!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
Astartes to the fore!
They're not like you and me
Which means that we must be purge them
We must sound the drums of war!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights]
They're aliens! Aliens!
Filthy xenos rabble!
Now we sound the drums of war!

[Eldrad]
This is as I saw
With their absurd ambition
The Mon-Keigh seek to conquer and destroy

[Caerys]
Beneath that armour plate
They harbour only hate

[Aspect Warriors]
Killing them shall be a joy

[Aspect Warriors]
They're savages! Savages!
Zeal and fervor blinds them
Savages! Savages!

[Caerys]
Killers at the core

[Exarch]
They're a lesser race than us
Which means they can't be trusted

[Eldrad]
We must sound the drums of war

[Aspect Warriors]
They're savages! Savages!
Now we march against them
And we sound the drums of war

[Grey Knights]
Aliens! Aliens!

[Brother-Captain]
Let's go kill a few, men!

[Aspect Warriors]
Savages! Savages!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
Now it's up to you, men!

[All]
(Aliens) Savages! (Aliens) Savages!
They are lesser creatures!
Now we sound the drums of war!

-Intermission-

[Taldeer]
They're going to kill him at sunrise, Grandmother Wraithbone.

[Grandmother Wraithbone]
You have to stop them!

[Taldeer]
I can't...

[Grandmother Wraithbone]
Child, remember your vision-

[Taldeer]
I was wrong, Grandmother Wraithbone, I followed the wrong path! I feel so lost...

[Taldeer]
The auspex... The spinning arrow...

[Grandmother Wraithbone]
It's the arrow from your vision!

[Taldeer]
I was right, it was pointing to him! Sunrise...

[Grandmother Wraithbone]
It's not too late, child! Let the spirits of the webway guide you! You know your path, child, now follow it!

-Part 2-
[Taldeer]
Is there nothing I can do?
Can I make these soldiers yield?
Is it only death that waits
Out there on the battlefield?

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
This will be the day ...
(Let's go men!)

[Eldrad]
This will be the morning ...
(Bring out the prisoner!)

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors]
We will see them dying in the dust

[Taldeer]
I don't know what I can do
Still, I know that I must try

[Grey Knights]
Now we make them pay

[Taldeer]
Isha, help my feet to fly

[Rangers]
Now without a warning ...

[Taldeer]
Kurnous, help my heart be great

[Grey Knights]
Now we leave them blood and bone and rust

[Taldeer]
Spirits of the wraithbone cry ...

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors]
It's them or us

[Taldeer]
Please don't let it be to late ...

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors]
They're just a bunch of
Filthy, stinking

[Grey Knights]
Aliens!

[Aspect Warriors]
Savages!

[Grey Knights]
Daemons!

[Aspect Warriors]
Primates!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
Kill them!

[Aspect Warriors]
Savages!

[Grey Knights]
Aliens!

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights]
What are we waiting for?

[All]
Destroy their evil race
Until there's not a trace left

[Taldeer]
How loud are the drums of war

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors]
We will sound the drums of war
(Savages! Savages!)
Now, we sound the drums of war
(Aliens! Aliens!)

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe]
They shall all succumb
The rotten xenos scum

[Aspect Warriors]
Now we sound the drums ... of ... war!

[Grey Knights]
Of course it means the drums ... of ... war!

[Taldeer]
Is the death of all I love
Carried in the drumming of war?

[Taldeer]
No! If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too.

[Eldrad]
Daughter, stand back.

[Taldeer]
I won't! I love him...

Jungle Book: I Wanna Be Like You

Now I'm of caste Ethereal

Oh, a Tau VIP

I've reached the top and had to stop

And that's what botherin' me

I wanna be a man, gue'la

And stroll right onto Terra

And be able to approach the Golden Throne

And end this warring era!

Oh, oobee doo

I wanna be like you

I wanna walk like you

Talk like you, too

You'll see it's true

A xenos like me

Can learn to be human too

Gee, mister Aun

You're doin' real good

Now here's your part of the deal, cuz

Lay the secret on me of man's psyker powers

But I'm not a psyker!

Now don't try to kid me, gue'la

I made a deal with you

What I desire is man's psychic power

To make my dream come true

Give me the secret, gue'la

Clue me what to do

Give me the power of man's warp flower

So I can be like you

The Great Mouse Detective: The World's Greatest Criminal Mind

[Ratigan]
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!

Tomorrow evening, our beloved planetary governess celebrates her diamond jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Magos Flaversham, it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night, and my first, as supreme ruler of all Londinium Prime!

From the brain that brought you the Black Bell Caper The head that made headlines on every dataslate And wondrous things like the Gunmetal Job That cunning display that made all hivers sob

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I’m at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain

[Chorus]
Even meaner? You mean it? Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned? You’re the best of the worst around Oh Ratigan Oh Ratigan The rest fall behind To Ratigan To Ratigan Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

[Ratigan]
Ratigan (speaking) Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been Amasec and Caviar. I’ve had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate inquisitor, Basil of Baker Hive! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven’t had a moment’s peace of mind. But now, all that’s in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! All will bow before me!

[Chorus]
Oh Ratigan Oh Ratigan You’re tops and that’s that To Ratigan To Ratigan

[Bartimus]
To Ratigan, the sector's greatest Khornate.

[Ratigan]
What was THAT?! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

[Mutant 1]
Oh, he didn't mean it my lord.

[Mutant 2]
I-it was just a slip of one of his tongues!

[Ratigan]
I am NOT A KHORNATE!

[Mutant 3]
'Course you're not, you're Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 4]
Yeah, that's right, Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 5]
A really angry Tzeentchian!

[Ratigan]
SILENCE!! Oh my dear Bartimus, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me...you know what happens when someone upsets me... I trust there will be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing...?

[Chorus]
Even louder! We'll shout it! No one can doubt what we know you can do You’re more evil than even you Oh Ratigan Oh Ratigan You’re one of a kind To Ratigan To Ratigan Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

The Lion King: Be Prepared

[Ghazghkull]
I NEVA FOUGHT YA GROTS WUZ ESSETCHUL

YOUZ RUNTY, AN' UNSPEEKABLY WEAK

BUT ME FINKS YOUZ GOT SUM POTENTCHUL

IF WAAGH IS WOT YOU REELY SEEK

[Ghazghkull]
'S KLARE FROM YER VAKANT EXPRESHUNS

DA ORK IS NOT ALL ON OP’STARES

BUT WEZ TALKIN' BOSSES AN' SUCCESSUNS

EVA YOUZ KENT BE CUGHT UNAWARES!

[Ghazghkull]
SO PREPARE FOR DA FIGHT OVVA LOIFETIME

PREPARE FOR SENSHANAL NOOZ

A SHINY NEW ERA

‘S STOMPIN’ NEARA

[Boyz]
But ‘ere getting shot op!

[Ghazghkull]
JUS’ LISSIN YA SQUIG GOB!

[Ghazghkull]
AH KNO DIS SOUNDS SORTID,

BUT YOUZ GON BE REWARDID

WHEN AT LAST AH'M GIVVIN MY TEEF

WAAAAGH WE FINALY DARED

BE PREPARED!!!

[Boyz]
Yeah! Be prepared! Wez gon be prepared! ...Fer wot?

[Ghazghkull]
DEFF OV DA BOSS!

[Boyz]
Why? Did da boss say so?

[Ghazghkull]
NO YA GROTS, SES MORK. AN' GORK TOO!

[Boyz]
Great ideah! Who ned a boss! No Boss! No Boss!

Waagh--Waagh-Waagh--Waaagh-Waaagh!

[Ghazghkull]
IDIUTS! DERE WILL BE A BOSS!

[Boyz]
But youz sed...

[Ghazghkull]
AH WILL BE BOSS! WAAAGH WIW ME AND YOUZ NEVA GON BE KRAMPED AGAIN!

[Boyz]
Yay! Awwwwwwroight! 'ail to da Boss!

[Chorus]
'AIL TO DA BOSS

'AIL TO DA BOSS!!!

SEEMS DAT WE'LL SOON BE KONNEKTID

TO A BOSS WHO'LL BE ALL TIME ADORD

[Ghazghkull]
OV’KOURSE, KVID PRO KVO, YOUZ EXPECTID

TO BRING CERTAIN DUTYZ ONBOARD

DA FUCHA IZ LITTERD WIW TROPHIES

AN DOUGH BIGGEST BOSS AH 'ILL BE

DA POINT DAT AH MUST EMFASAZ ES:

YA WON'T GET TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH WIWOUT ME!!!!

[Ghazghkull]
SO GIT PREPARED FOR DA WAAAAAAGH OV’ DA CENTURY!
[Chorus]
(Oooh!)
[Ghazghkull]
BE PREPARED FOR DA BRUTALEST KUNNIN
[Chorus]
(Oooh Waagh, Waagh, Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
MASSIVELY CHOPPY!
[Chorus]
(We’ll haf Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
DED BIG AN’SHOOTY!
[Chorus]
(En’less Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
CRED’IBLY STOMPY!
[Chorus]
(‘Ere we go!)
[Ghazghkull]
WILL MAKE SURE THAT ME!
[Chorus]
(Fo’ da Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
BE DA BOSS UNDISPUTED
[Chorus]
(Aaaaaaah...)
[Ghazghkull]
RESPECTID, SALUTID
[Chorus]
(...aaaaaaah!)
[Ghazghkull]
AN' SEEN FER DA BOSS DAT AH AM
[Chorus]
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
[Ghazghkull]
YES MA' CHOPPAS AN SHOOTAS ARE BEARED BE PREPARED!!!

[All]
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Aladdin: A Whole New World

[Ghazghkull]
I’ll kill da ooniverse!
Burn’s it, smash’s it, stomp’s it!
Tell me Yarrick now when’s did I last
Get’s a nice surprise?

[Yarrick]
Well, just open your eyes!

[Ghazghkull]
Look at all of dese wonders!
So much chance ‘ere for plunders
On a mighty fighitn ride!
Armageddon!
With kool, amazin rockrete pits
Not normal humie runts
An’ no weak punts
Or tribes of smaller orkish gits

[Yarrick]
Armageddon!
A wonderous place of giant hives
Where billions of souls
Live like moles
Never see the sky in all their lives

[Ghazghkull]
Never da sky in all dere lives

[Yarrick]
Unbelievable war
Orks coming on them like rain
Fighting, dying and much pain
Through deserts of blackened waste
Armageddon!

[Ghazghkull]
Don’t you dare leave dis place!

[Yarrick]
A hundred million fallen souls

[Ghazghkull]
I’s wants you to stay ‘ere

[Yarrick]
There’s so much shooting here,
And so much fear
I won’t ever leave this war-torn world

[Ghazghkull]
Armageddon

[Yarrick]
I think I am stuck here

[Ghazghkull]
Wit new fun chances of fightin

[Yarrick]
Everyday it gets harder

[Both]
I’ll chase you, gun in hand
Across this land
Let me share Armageddon
with you

[Ghazghkull]
Armageddon

[Yarrick]
Armageddon

[Ghazghkull]
Dat’s where I waaaagh

[Yarrick]
That’s where I stand

[Ghazghkull]
A fight at hand!

[Yarrick]:
On this black sand

[Both]
So don’t you leave!

Mulan: I'll Make a Tau Out of You

Let's begin your training - to defeat the Orks
Did they send me Fio'las when I asked for Shas?
The orks will try to kill us all
But they will hit an endless wall
Mister, I'll make a tau from you all

Patient as a gun drone
But on plasma within
Once you aim your rifle
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, mob of idiots
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a tau out of you

I'm never gonna catch my breath
I bet I'm gonna get us all shot
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym
This guy's got 'em scared to death
I bet I'm gonna get us all caught
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim

(Chorus:)
Be a tau
We must be sleek as the Barracuda
Be a tau
With all the force of a orca dropship
Be a tau
With all the strength of a mighty railgun
Magnificent as the bright side of the good

Time is racing toward us till the Orks arrive
Heed my every order and you might survive
You're a pain to me, a bane to me
So pack up, deport you're through
How could I make a tau out of you?

(Chorus:)
Be a tau
We must be swift as the Barracuda
Be a tau
With all the force of a Orca dropship
Be a tau
With all the strength of a mighty railgun
Magnificent as the bright side of the good

(Chorus:)
Be a tau
We must be swift as the Barracuda
Be a tau
With all the force of a Orca Dropship
Be a tau
With all the strength of a mighty railgun
Magnificent as the bright side of the good

Beauty and the Beast: Angron

[Kharn:] Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Angron
Without a good war to wage
Every guy here'd love to be you, Angron
Even when frothing with rage
Every single World Eater was sired by you
Every man before you shall bow
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see how

No one's slick as Angron
No one's sick as Angron
No one wields a chainaxe quite as quick as Angron
For there's no man around half as hearty
Perfect, a prime specimen
You ask any Adeptus Astartes
And they'll tell you whose Chapter they want to be in

[Berzerkers:] No one's been like Angron
Had thick skin like Angron
[Kharn:] No one's able to create a din like Angron
[Angron:] As a Primarch, yes, I'm intimidating
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, that Angron

Give five "hurrahs!"
"For the Skull Throne!"
[Kharn:] Angron is the best
And the rest are all boned

[Berzerkers:] No one fights like Angron
Or ignites like Angron
[Champion:] In a riot nobody incites like Angron
[Daemonettes:] For there's no one as fearsome or angry
[Angron:] My raw energy cannot be caged
[Kharn:] Not a bit of him's scraggly or mangy
[Angron] (That's right!)
I'm bursting with boundless and unbridled rage

[Berzerkers:] No one hits like Angron
[Raptor:] Fights in pits like Angron
[Kharn:] In a BloodBowl match no one can blitz like Angron
[Angron:] I'm espcially fond of obliterating
(Kablooey!)
[Berzerkers:] Ten points for Angron!

[Angron:] In the arena I received nerve implants
So I'd fight with no fear or remorse
So I gave my legion the same nerve implants
Now they are an unstoppable force

[Berzerkers:] No one shoots like Angron
No one loots like Angron
[Kharn:] Crushes skulls under ceremite boots like Angron
[Angron:] I use enemy heads for my decorating
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, Angron!

Mulan: A God Worth Killing For

[Pre-heresy marines]
It’s a long time since we’ve seen a sign of our home

[Angron] Like a mindless grox, I guess we are doomed to roam

[Pre-heresy marines]
Amidst the clash of wars, our orders, are easy to ignore

[Horus]
Hey!
Imagine bowing to a god worth KILLING for?

[Pre-heresy marine]
Huh?

[Horus]
That’s what we need, a god worth KILLING for!

[Fulgrim]
I want one with a perfect form with skin that has no scars

[Angron]
My god will have a pair of horns, with hide as red as Mars

[Magnus]
I couldn’t care less about war or about dreams
It all depends on sneaky schemes

[pre-heresy marines]
Maim kill burn
Ah!

[Angron]
And the other Legions think they’re fighting for Man?

[Horus]
But they still ignore the rewards of a god’s plan

[pre-heresy marines]
Right now all we do for our cause is fight chore after chore

[Horus]
What do we need?

[pre-heresy marines]
A god worth KILLING for!

[Angron]
I think my god demands skulls

[Magnus]
Mine leaves no chance unmined

[Alpharius]
Uh…How bout a...god that destroys all
Exterminates mankind?

[All]
Neh…

[Mortarion]
My many pleas grant me disease that makes stomachs stir

[Angron]
My pleas make me a blood-mad KILLER

[Horus]
I’ve a god who can mix his fate into all lands

[Angron]
But I’ve a god who has such destructive hands

[pre-heresy marines]
When we have our gods not one of us will need the Emperor

[Horus]
What do we need?

[Pre-heresy marines]
A god worth KILLING for

(Marching in from the other side, the loyalist marines come, in the middle of their own song)

[Guilliman]
Who do we love?

[Loyalist marines]
Our mighty Emperor!
(Whistling)
Our mighty Emper…

(They freeze in horror, confronted by the pre-heresy marines, now full chaos space marines)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Hellfire

[Inquisitor Frollo]: Have mercy, my Emprah, You know I am a righteous man. Of my virtue I am justly proud.

Have mercy, my Emprah, You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, heretical crowd!

Then tell me, my Emprah Why I see her standing there, Why her ghosthelm's eyes still scorch my soul?

I feel her, I see her! The sun caught in her spirit stones Is blazing in me out of all control!

Like fire! Warpfire! This fire in my skin! This burning Desire Is turning me to sin!

It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! It is the Eldar girl, the Witch who set this flame!

It's not my fault, It's Tzeentch's plan! He made foul xenos so much stronger than a man!

Protect me, my Emprah! Don't let foul Taldeer cast her spell! Don't let heresy sear my flesh and bone! Destroy the Farseer! And let her feel Chaos's flames Or else let her be mine and mine alone!

[Guardsman]: Inquisitor Frollo, the Eldar witch has escaped.

[Inquistor Frollo]: What?

[Guardsman]: She's nowhere in the fortress...she's gone.

[Inquisitor Frollo]: But how, I...nevermind! Get out, you idiot!

I'll find her! I'll find her if I have to glass the entire system!

Warpfire! Dark fire! Now Taldeer, it's your turn! Choose me or Your pyre! Be mine or you will BURN!

Emprah's mercy on me...

Emprah's mercy on her...

But she will be mine or SHE WILL BURN!!!

Dreamworks Adaptations

Although less prolific than Disney, some of Dreamworks' titles show great promise.

The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys

[Cult Leaders]
By the power of Tzeentch...
Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh...Malal...
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron...
Fulgrim...Khârn...Lucius...Typhus...
Mortarion...Perturabo...
Abaddon...Alpharius...Erebus...Slyte...
Fabius...Ahriman...
Tzeentch...Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh...
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron...
Fulgrim...Khârn...Typhus...Lucius...
Malal...Slaanesh...Khorne...Nurgle...Tzeentch...

So you think you've got friends on High Terra
With the power to put us on the run
Well, forgive us if we give a chortle
You'll know what power is when we are done
Mortal...

You're playing with the daemons now
Playing with the daemons now (Oh, that's nice...)
Every spell and gesture
Tells you who's your master
You're playing with the daemons now

You're playing with the daemons now
You're playing with the daemons now
Stop this vain resistance
Embrace your true existence
Give in to temptation now
Pick up your powerfist, boy
You're playing with the daemons now!

[Chanting Cultists]
By the power of Tzeentch
Nurgle, Khorne, Slaanesh, Malal
Magnus, Lorgar, Curze, Angron
Mortarion, Perturabo
Malal, Slaanesh, Khorne, Nurgle...

[Cult Leaders]
You're playing with the daemons now
You're playing with the daemons now
By the might of Horus
You will kneel before us
Kneel to our splendorous power...
You try to keep faith
But you know we're right
And just to show we feel no spite
You can be our acolyte
But first, boy, it's time to betray
(All the way!)
Or your soul will be consumed, boy
You're playing with the daemons now
Playing with the daemons
Now!

The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues

[Chorus]
Thus said the Gods:
Since you refuse to yield your reign
All through the Imperium of Man...

I send your soldiers on thy self
Into your space, throughout the void
Onto your worlds, into your streets
Into your habs, into your forts
Upon your ranks, on your troops
Upon your people in your hives
Into your minds, into your souls
Until you break, until you yield
I send the swarm, I send the horde
Thus said the Gods!

[Horus]
Once I called you father
Once I thought the chance
to make you proud
Was all I ever wanted...

[Chorus]
I send the thunder from the sky
I send the fire raining down

[Horus]
And even now I wish the Gods
had chose another
Serving as your foe on their behalf
Is the last thing that I wanted...

[Chorus]
I send a hail of burning ice
On every field, on every hive

[Horus]
This was my home
All this pain and devastation
It never had to be this way
All the warriors who suffer
From your stubbornness and pride...

[Chorus]
I send such fleets out through the void
The galaxy has never seen
On every globe, on every world
Until there's nothing left of green
I send my scourge, I send my sword
Thus said the Gods!

[Emperor]
You who I called my son
Why must you call down another blow?

[Chorus]
I send my scourge, I send my sword

[Horus]
Let my warriors rule

[Horus and Chorus]
Thus said the Gods

[Emperor]
You who I called my son
How could you have come to hate me so?
Is this what you wanted?

[Chorus]
I send the swarm, I send the horde...

[Emperor]
Then let my heart be hardened
And never mind how high the cost may grow
This will still be so:
I will never let my empire go...

[Chorus]
Thus said the Gods:

[Horus]
Thus said the Gods:

[Emperor]
I will not...

[Horus, Emperor, and Chorus]
Let your (my) empire go!

Other Sources

Through random circumstance or creative providence, some songs and poems lend themselves to grimdarking regardless of what media they are tied to.

Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody

Iz dis da real life?
Iz dis jus' fannasy?
Caught in a big push,
No 'scape from reality.
Open ya eyes, Look up at da skies and see,
I's jus' a poor boy, dun need no sympafy,
'Cause I'm big 'n mean, not a grot, chop and smash, shoot a lot,
Any way the waaagh goes doesn't really matter to me, to me.

Warboss, just killed an ork,
Put mah dakka 'gainst 'is 'ead, pulled my trigger, now 'e's dead.
Warboss, waaagh had just begun,
But now I's gone and shot up all ya nobs.
Warboss, ooh, Didn' mean ta make ya mad,
If I's not back again dis time tomorra,
Keep stompin', keep stompin' as if nuffin' really matters.

Too late, I gots shot up,
Sends hurtin' down me spine, body's aching all the time.
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face da troof.
Warboss, ooh, I dun' wanna die,
I sometimes wish I'd never waaaghed at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a beakie,
Zoggin' humies, Zoggin' humies, is it your turn to stomp now?
Thundabolts and Lightnins, very, very fright'ning me.
(Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka. (Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka, Gorkamorka Gork n' Mork
Waaaaagh! I's just a poor boy an' nobody loves me.
'E's just a poor boy from a poor goff tribe,
Spare 'im 'is loife from dis monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will yas lemme go?
Xenos! No, we will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh Brother Captain, Brother Captain.) Bruvva Kaptin, lemme go.
Da Commissar 'as a boltgun put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you fink you can shoot me and spit in my eye?
So you fink you can curse me and leave me to die?
Oh, baby, can't do dis to me, baby,
Jus' gonna get out, jus' gotta get stompin' again!

Nuffin' really matters, Anyone can see,
Nuffin' really matters,
Nuffin' really matters to me.

Any way the waaagh goes.

Robert Browning: My Last Duchess

   That's my last adjutant painted on the wall, 

   Looking as if she were alive. I call 

   That piece a wonder, now: The Confessor 

   Worked busily that day, and there she stands. 

   Will't please you sit and look at her? I said 

   Confessor by design, for never read 

   Strangers like you that pictured countenance, 

   The depth and passion of its earnest glance, 

   But to myself they turned (since none puts by 

   The curtain I have drawn for you, but I) 

   And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst, 

   How such a glance came there; so not the first 

   Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, 'twas not 

   My orders only, called that eager spot, 

   Of joy into her pallid cheek; perhaps 

   A Guardsman chanced to say "She wears her cap 

   Askew, as it please her," or "Prayer 

   Must never hope to match a lock of her hair 

   Taken from her head": such stuff 

   Was unacceptable, I thought, and cause enough 

   For flagellation (she did not). She had 

   An attitude - how shall I say - relaxed 

   Too easily beguiled; she listened to anything 

   She looked on, and her ears heard many things. 

   Sir, 'twas all one! Morning prayers, arrests, 

   The whispers of the Dark Gods in her breast, 

   The impious jibes some vulgar soldier 

   Would throw her way, unaware of her 

   Position and my power. All and each 

   would draw from her alike the approving speech, 

   Or an ear at least. She took confession - good - but prayed 

   Somehow - I know how now - as if her faith was any other jade. 

   A heretic. Who'd stoop to blame 

   This sort of crime? Even had you time 

   For a trial - which I had not - for heretic slime 

   And to say she burns, and to say "Just This 

   Is your fair fate, you lying bitch, 

   Traitor to the Emperor" - and if she let 

   Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set 

   Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse, 

   - E'en then would be some stooping, and I choose 

   Never to stoop. Oh sir, she prayed, no doubt, 

   On every feast, but which gods blessed without 

   Those same prayers? This became clear. I made commands. 

   Then prayers turned into screams. There she stands, 

   As if alive. Will't please you rise? We'll meet 

   The Governor below, then. I repeat, 

   The Inquisition's munificence 

   Is ample warrant that no just pretence 

   Of confession will be disallowed; 

   Though to find heresy, as I avowed, 

   At starting, is my object. Nay, we'll go 

   Together down, sir. Notice this seal, though, 

   The skull and I, together as you see, 

   Which gives certain... powers to me. 

Charlie Daniels Band: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

The daemon went down to Terra,
He was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young man chainswordin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.
And the daemon jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy, let me you what:"
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too."
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you."
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the daemon his due:"
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The boy said: "Mah nahme's Boreale ahnd it might be ah sin,"
"But Ah'll take yooouuur bet, yoouugghhrr gonna regrort, 'cos Ah'm the best thawt's ever beahn."

Boreale, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard,
'Cause hellwarp's broke loose in Terra and Tzeentch deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
But if you lose, the daemon gets your soul.

The daemon opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show."
And blue fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of Nurglings joined in and it sounded somethin' like this:
When the daemon finished, Boreale said,
"Worl, you're prehtty guud, oorrld sawn,"
"But sit dorn in that cheer rigghht ther and let me show you whore it's dorne"

Fire on the monolith.
Run, boys, run
Slaanesh in the House of the Rising Sun.
Squiqs in the bread pan pickin' out dough.
Granny, does your cyberdog bite?
No, child, no.

The daemon bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Boreale's feet.
Boreale said, "Daemon, just cuhm on baahhck if you ever wahnt to trah agahin."
"'Cause Ah told you once, you son of a grot,"
"Ah'm the best that's evah bihn."

Iron Maiden: Aces High

There goes da sirun dat warns o' da air raid
Den comz da sound o' da shootaz: DakDakkaDak
Owt fer da scramble we've godda git airborne
Godda git up fer da comin' attak.

Jump in da cockpit an start up da enginz
Lode up da grotz derz no time to muck about
Gavverin' speed as weeb 'ed down da runway
Godda git airborne an smoke dose gitz out

Scurryin', scramblin', flyin'
Rollin', turnin', divin', goin' in again
Scurryin', scramblin', flyin'
Rollin', turnin', divin'
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh.

Move in ter fire at da mainstream o' bombaz
Giv em some dakka an den turn away
Roll ober, spin round ter cumz in behind 'em
Move ter their blindsidz an firin' again

Runtie ships oe'r da Horizon, muv in behin' us
Down on da ground dere's jes deadboys and lootaz
'Eading up an turnin' our flash ter mug dem
'Eading straight fer dim meeb per-ss down on mi shootaz.

Rollin', turnin', divin'
Rollin', turnin', divin' ('ere we go agin!)
Rollin', turnin', divin'
Rollin', turnin', divin'
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh

Iron Maiden: The Trooper

You’ll take my life but I’ll take yours too
You’ll fire you railgun but I’ll run you through
So when your waiting for the next attack
You’d better stand there’s no turning back

The Ethereal speaks as the charge begins
But on this battlefield no one wins
The smell of acrid smoke and krootox breath
As you plunge into a certain death

The horse he sweats with fear we break to run
The mighty roar of the Tau guns
And as we race towards the xenos wall
The screams of pain as my comrades fall

We hurdle bodies that lay on the ground
And the Tau fire another round
We get so near yet so far away
We won’t live to fight another day

(Guitar Solo)

We get so close near enough to fight
When a Firewarrior gets me in his sights
He pulls the trigger and I feel the blow
A burst of rounds take my horse below

And as I lay there gazing at the sky
My body’s numb and my throat is dry
And as I lay forgotten and alone
Without a tear I draw my parting groan

My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade (Intro)

WHEN I WAS
A GUARDSMAN,
MY SERGEANT TOOK ME TO EASTERN KRONUS
TO SERVE IN VICTORY BAY

HE SAID,
"SON WHEN YOU GROW UP,
WILL YOU BE THE SLAYER OF THE MUTANT,
AND THOSE WHO GO ASTRAY?"

HE SAID
"WILL YOU DEFEAT THEM,
THE DEMONS, AND ALL THE FILTHY XENOS,
THE PLANS THAT THEY HAVE MADE?"

FOR ONE DAY, I LEAD YOU,
TO THE ELDAR, AND TAU AND ORKS AND NECRONS,
TO JOIN THE DARK CRUSADE."

Harvey Andrews: British Soldier

In a spaceport in the city a young guardsman stood
Talking to the natives there if they would
Some just stared in hatred, and others turned in pain
And the lonely guardsman boy wished he was home again

Come join glorious guard! Said the posters in his block
See new worlds and have your fun and serve your emperor
His skills were surely lacking and his family had to eat
So he took the emperors oath and enlisted for up to fight

For there was no fear of fighting, to the conquered he’d be sent
Just ten years getting paid to watch
Then leave a glorious victor, a man who’d made the grade
A medal and some land, and memories in trade

Then came the call of Tash’ren, as it had come before
Another bloody chapter in an unending war
The people stood on both sides, the people they stood behind
Another fight in futilities name, the weak against the blind

The guardsman stood between them, between the whistling stones
And then the broken bottles, that lead to more patrols
The crude bombs that burnt him, the nails that pierced his skin
And wish he’d just stayed home, working with his friends

The starport filled with people the guardsman soon was bored
But better in the port than where the soldiers warred
The room filled up with the xeno females, their younglings in tow
Who stared with itchy fingers at the guardsman and his gun

A yell of fear a pulse of engines the shattering of glass
The window of the port broke to let the package pass
A scream came from the defeated as they ran towards the door
Dragging their younglings crying from the charge upon the floor

The guardsman stood and could not move, his gun he could not use
He knew the bomb had seconds and not minutes on the fuse
He could not run and pick it up and throw it in the street
There were far too many people there, too many running feet

Take cover! yelled the guardsman, Take cover for your lives
And the Aliens threw down their young and stood before their wives
They turned towards the soldier their eyes alive with fear
For the greater good’s sake, save our children or they'll end their short lives here

The guardsman ran towards the bomb his stomach like a stone
Why was this his battle in the emperors name, why was he alone
He lay down on the package and he murmured one farewell
To those at home in Nimbossa to those he loved so well

He saw the sights of harvest felt the wind upon his brow
The young girls in the munitorum parks, how precious were they now
The soaring of the sw’it the beauty of the swilope
The music of the cheering choir so soon would it be gone

A muffled soft explosion and the room began to quake
The guardsman blown across the floor, his blood a crimson lake
There was no time to cry or shout there was no time to moan
And they turned their children's faces from the blood and from the bones

The crowd outside soon gathered and the chimeras came
To carry off the body of a pawn lost in the game
And the crowd they clapped and cheered and they sang their heretical song
One guardsman less to interfere where he did not belong

And will the young growing up learn at their mothers' knees
The story of the guardsman who bought their lives
Who used his youthful body as a means towards an end
Who gave his life to those who called him murderer not friend

Will Smith: Men In Black

Here come the Knights in Grey
Imperiums defenders
Here come the Knights in Grey
They won't let you remember

The righteous bear armor of grey, ok
Just in case they have to come and send some Daemons away
The order given to them, Or-do M
Means with ease they will banish them
So do not your eyes avert
Or Chaos with ease will soon convert
The chosen of the Emperor
Number one Daemon purgers
But to our Battle Brothers we dont exist
On our Ordos most classified list
Daemon infestion ? to the Emperor pray
Cause you never know when we might save the Day, and..

Here come the Knights in Grey
Imperiums defenders
Here come the Knights in Grey
They won't let you remember

Ozzy Osbourne: Hellraiser

Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode
around’ da world ta krump beakies good
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff
but I still asnt ad enuf
I keep tellin dat its gettin alot
but I no ize a liar
feelin al rite in da noize n da lite
but dats wut makes me waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

‘ell raiser, in da funder and ‘eat
‘ell raiser, rock ya bak in ya seet
‘ell raiser, an ize gon make it come troo
‘ell raiser, ize gon do sum weird boy fings to you

Waaaaghin on anuvver world,
Anuvver hive anuvver place
sumtimes I dun feel too gud
ize get dis funny feelin an stuff
da boyz keep sayin dat its not good fer me
but bein a grot dun make it
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll
But dats wut lites my fire

Chorus

Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode
around’ da world ta krump beakies good
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff
but I still asnt ad enuf
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll
But dats wut lites my fire
Chorus

Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made For Walking

You's keep sayin' you's got sumfing for me.
Sumfing you call WAAAGH!, but 'fess up.
You's been muckin' where ya shudn' be muckin'
An' now some uver gitz got all ya swag.

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do.
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you.

You's keep lootin' when you's ought ta be krumpin'
An' you's gots no wins, only beats.
You's stayin' weedy when ya ought ta be 'ard
Now wotz proppa's proppa, an' ya ain' been proppa yet.

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do.
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you.

You's keep sulkin' where ya 'spose ta be loud.
An' you's keep finkin' you's sumfin' speshul.
Ha! Gotz me a brand new Choppa wotz dead killy,
An' I ain' 'ad time fer breakin' it in...

Ready ya gitz? Start choppin'!

Sabaton: Attero Domunatus

Attero!
Dominatus!
The Hive is burning
Denique!
Interimo!
The Tau has fallen

We stand at the gates of the Hive
With two and a half million men
With six thousand tanks in our ranks
Use them as battering rams

Artillery leading our way
A million grenades has been launched
The xenos must pay for their crimes
The wings of the xeno’s been broken

Commander Chenkov's orders:
Serve me the Hive on a plate!
Disregard the losses
The city is ours to take

The price of a war must be payed
Millions of lives has been lost
The price must be paid by the Tau
That started the war in M.40's

The year of 200.M45
The year when the xenos will fall
We're inside the gates of the Hive
The beaks of the xeno's been broken

Commander Chenkov's orders:
Serve me it's head on a plate
Disregard the losses
The xeno's land is ours to take

March!
Fight!
Die!
In the Hive!
March!
Fight!
Conquer!
The Hive!

Sabaton: Wolfpack

To the sector came the Eldar
Mars and Dictator
leading the convoy west

Took the warp gate in
the long jump back - Convoy to Gryphonne
Mars, Dauntless, Dictator leading
Titans to the forge
and upon the asteroid belt
lies the silence of the sails
on the dog's watch in the final hour
the corsair fleets appear

On all the auspex it seems quiet and calm
Deep down below the xeno lurks

To the sector came the Eldar
Mars and Dictator
leading the convoy west
in their own track came the wolfpack
Mars led the convoy
into the hornets nest

At the crack of dawn the second watch
Dauntless wracked with flames
half the convoy hulked or disabled
heading to Command
but below the fleet ecliptic
out of sensor range
on the second watch in the final hour
the corsair fleets return

The Eldar come in for a second time
to make the Monkeigh face their fate

To the sector came the Eldar
Mars and Dictator
leading the convoy west
in their own track came the wolfpack
Mars led the convoy
into the hornets nest

Lances blazing, fighters failing
M42 when
The Navy did fail the test
To the sector came the Eldar
Mars and Dictator
leading them into death

Asuryan makes the contact and lead them
Isha's Tears scores a kill in the dark
She Who Thirsts sinking 4 in 2 approaches
Fading Star cut in half by a lance

Edgar Allen Poe: The Raven

Once upon a battlefield dreary, where I cowered, spent and bleary,
Within an Imperial bunker, darkly stained with dust and gore -
As I cowered, nearly shuttering, suddenly there came a sputtering
As some weapon quickly stuttering - firing at my bunker door.
"`Tis some bolter", I murmured, "firing at my bunker door -
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And the brightly burning bastions lit the horizon by the score.
Eagerly, on freedom drunker; - vainly had I sought to hunker
In this heavy Imperial bunker - with perhaps a tunnel in the floor -
A safe and empty fortress with perhaps a tiny tunnel in the floor -
Only this and nothing more.

And the mad raving howling of each distant Space Wolf prowling
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before.
So that now, to the beating of my heart, I stood entreating
"`Tis some Space Wolf there repeating, firing at my bunker door -
Some common Grey Hunter rapid-firing at my bunker door -
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer
"Marine," said I, "or Scout, your attention I implore;
The bunker walls are thick - they are made of tempered brick
And your bolters do not nick the slightest scratch or tiny score -
Not a dimple, dent, depression, dip, scratch or tiny score -
Away now, and fire no more."

Then in the bunker slumping, presently I heard a thumping
A pounding - rattling many times fiercer than before.
And soon I began to screech - the bunker wall grenades did breach;
The very gods I did beseech as the ceiling fell upon the floor -
Through the wounds poured light which danced upon the floor -
Danced amidst the sounds of war.

Then at once it stopped the violence - I was left alone with silence
Confused, I spied the reason why the shells did drop no more -
For as I began to shutter, then with many a flit and flutter
a psyber-Raven flew through the clutter to perch above the door -
Perched on the two-headed eagle just above the bunker door -
Perched and sat and nothing more.

At this I grew more craven, for the talons of the psyber-Raven
Were all over covered with bright red blood and crimson gore.
"Wretch!" I cried, "Njal hath lent thee - into this fortress has he sent thee
So that remotely may he here be - and this bunker then explore -
Scry out my exact location and this bunker then explore -"

Quoth the Raven, "Eversor"

Then, methought, the air grew darker, the bunker now a little starker
For the uttered word brought terror as I had never felt before.
As for weapons, I knew I had none - no bolter, sword or lasgun;
No arms to stop the war's son fated to break soon through the door -
The blood-mad crazed assassin fated to break soon through the door-
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor"

"Be that word our sign of parting, machine or bird!" I shrieked, upstarting -
"Get thee back into the fire-fight and here spy on me no more!
For as you came unbidden - I would otherwise be here hidden -
Leave my location in this midden - quit that icon above my door!
Take thy shining metal eye, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor"

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting - still is sitting
On the pallid two-headed eagle just above the bunker door;
His metal eye has all the seeming of a psyker that is scheming,
To have my guts lie steaming in a pile upon the floor;
And now all hope has left me, crouched here upon the floor
I await the Eversor!

Henry the Fifth, Act III Scene I

Once more unto the boards, Anon, once more,
Or close the wall up with our Neckbeard dead!
In-game there's nothing so becomes a man
As massive fatness and huge faggotry;
But when the /b/last of war brings in the cancer,
Then imitate the action of the fatguy;
Quote from the rulebooks, summon up the fluff,
Disguise fat nature with hard-favour'd RAAAAGE;
Then lend the one a terrible aspect;
Let it stare until PCs are all dead
Like the foul bodak; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as does a tiefling’s horn
Add two charisma to his contorted face,
Swirl'd in the wild and wasteful fourth-ed.
Now roll the bones and sketch the portraits wide,
Dream hard of breasts, that bend up every ‘spirit’
To his full height. On, on, you beardyest fatguys,
Whose blood is fet from fathers of thin-proof!
Fathers that, like so many useless tripfags,
Have in these parts from morn till even raged,
And saged their threads for lack of argument.
Fap not to your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fatguys did beget you.
Be copy now to men of better games,
And show them how you roll. And you, warmachine,
Whose limbs are made of pewter, show us here
The metal of your minis; let us swear
That they are worth their pricetag, which I doubt much;
For I see most of you so mean and base,
That hath not showered since last Petertide.
I see you field warhounds in Apolaclypse,
Standing upon their foes. The game's been lost!
Follow your spirits, and upon this board
Cry, "Rage at Vampire! Magic! and Fourth Ed!"

Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

Load up da trukks

Bring yer boyz

`Kuz we's haulin'

Out all da toyz

Da `oomies run

Frum dakka gunz

I knows I knows

We's number one

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I squish pinkies wit' my anus

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

Winnin' is what Orks do best

`Cause by Mork we's all been bless'd

Our mighty WAAAAAAAGH `as always been

And always will until the end

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Now I'm out dere, smashin' faces

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

And I forgitz

Just wot it was

Oh ya, I think a melta bomb

I found it dere

It's tikkin' now

Oh well, I'll toss it at doze grots.

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I'm outta words, so I's WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Sailor Tau

Fire caste by moonlight
Water caste by daylight
Never running from a real fight
She is the one named Sailor Tau
She will...never turn her back on a friend
She is... always there to defend
She is...the one on whom we can depend
She is the one named Sailor.....
.... Sailor Broadside
.... Sailor Stealth
.... Sailor Crisis
..... Sailor Drone
With cosmic secrets
All so new to her
She is the one named Sailor Tau
fire caste by daylight
Water caste by daylight
With her Sailor Shas'o to help fight
She is the one named Sailor Tau
She is the one named Sailor Tau
She is the one . . . Sailor Tau!!

Weird Al Yankovic, Amish Paradise

As I browse through the minis of my local games store
I took a look at my life and realized I’m very poor
But that's just perfect for an fa/tg/uy like me
You know, I bought that space marine battle company
At 4:30 in the morning dice are rolling
PCs are dying the whole session railroading... fools
And I've been plannin and ragin’ so long that
Even my mother thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the die, I've passed my knowledge check
Got a codex in my hand and a beard on my neck
But if I finish all my painting and if you get Matt
Then tonight I am putting on my wizard robes and hat.

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
I've done FATAL once or twice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
It's hard work in rolling dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We buy minis at high price
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

A local boy made a Mary Sue last week
I just approved it and saved my mad critique
I really don’t mind, I didn’t even rage
‘cause I dumped the Lady of Pain on him, flaying his mage.
But I ain't never punched weeaboos even if they deserved it
An fa/tg/uy with a tool? You know that’s unheard of
I’m obese and smelly but have the best army
And my homies agree, it did win the tourney...fools
If you’re here for stories, you'll be wrecked in tears
We have C.S Goto raping well known canon with shears
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We are just autistically impaired

There's chainfists, chainswords, and lightning claws
in our life hobby
Like Cthulhu Mythos
It's as grim an’ dark as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We're just fat and nerdy guys
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
There's no greater sin and vice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We all fight, by rolling dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

Hitchin' up a game group, churnin' out new content
Made a game on Sunday, soon I'll make another
Think you’re pimp at rollplay? Think you can roleplay?
I know I’m a million times more playa then you gay frey
I'm the neckbeard guy the young Gygaxes wanna be like
In the store day and night rollin’ paragon mad soulknife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, weeaboo, I might declare Exterminatus on your army

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We’re all crazy max/min-ites
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We all dare to fantasize
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We’re all virgins who roll dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

Blue Oyster Cult: Black Blade

I was on a mission to fight for the Greater Good
But this here Dawn Blade at my side don't act the way it should
Keeps calling me it's Shas'O when I feel more like it's Gue'la
And it keeps dragging me faster and faster to an early grave, yeah
And it howls! It howls like hell!

I'm told it's my duty to fight against them all
That warring is my trade and I was born to wade through gore
I just want to be a lover, not a blue-skinned screaming ghoul
I wish it'd picked another to be it's killing tool

Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade
Forged a million years ago
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade
Killing so it's power can grow

It's death from the beginning to the end of time
And I'm the Tau's champion, or is that just part of it's grand designs?
And whole worlds are dying, and the burden's mine
And the Dawn Blade keeps on killing, 'til the end of time

Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade
Bringing chaos to the world we know
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade
And it's using me to kill my friends
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade
Growing stronger so the galaxy will end
Forcing my mind to bend and bend

I am the Dawn Blade
Forged a million billion years ago
My cosmic soul goes on for eternity
Carving out destiny
Bringing in the Lords of Chaos
Bringing up the Beasts of the Immaterium
Sucking out the souls of heroes
Laying waste to the Imperium
My master is my slave
Hahaahahahahahahahaha!
You poor fucking Tau

'Twas The Night Before Emperor's Day

'Twas the night before Emperor's Day,
and he fought all alone,
in a four foot deep trench
lined with plasteel and stone.

I was traveling the warp
with gifts for the land,
when I saw this lone guardsman
making his brave stand.

I looked all about,
I looked near and far,
no Chimera, no Basilisk,
nor Techpriest or Commissar.

No Sergeant yelled orders
to this guardsman - no backing
to fight this ridge full of xeno
formed from pure evil, attacking.

His armor in tatters,
his eyes nearly blind,
A sobering truth
raced through my mind.

His position was doomed,
was my only thought
and this soldier's brave stand
would all be for naught.

The guardsman stared unblinking,
silent and alone,
his lasrifle at the ready
against his shoulder bone.

His gaze was so calm
in the face of calamity,
the perfect picture of
a guardsman of humanity.

Who was this brave hero
whose position I'd spied,
warring against
this unstoppable tide?

I now knew that all humans
I would see this night,
owed their lives to these guardsmen
who were willing to fight.

Soon all round the galaxy
the children would play,
and grownups would praise
the bright Emperor's Day.

They all lived their lives
every month of the year,
Because of brave guardsmen
like the one standing here.

A tear came to my eye
for those who stood alone,
on a cold Emperor's Day Eve
on a planet far from home.

Their great sacrifices
I could never betray
So I drew my burning sword
to join in the fray

The soldier did turn
and I heard a rough voice.
"My Emperor, rest easy,
this death is my choice;

I fight for a freedom
that may never be found,
but not ever shall I waver
on Your sacred ground."

Then the Guardsman turned
to face the incursions
of the foul xenos and
their unholy perversions

I kept watch for hours,
until the night was still
and the guardsman lay broken
on the bloody red hill.

I could not just leave
on that cold grim dark night,
this guardian of honor
so willing to fight.

And as the guardsman lay dying,
his soul strong and pure,
he cried, "Ave Imperator!
It's Emperor's Day! This world is secure!"

I kneeled before the fallen,
A great victory he'd won.
"Happy Emperor's Day my guardsman,
rest in peace, my son."

Daniel Decateur Emmett: Dixie Land

No one knows how this all started
but it don't suprize us empty-hearted-
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum!

When those came up in that ole Half-track
We found the nerve to now push back!
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum!

Advance the flag there trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah!
On far off lands we'll take our stand-
And not die bloody cowards!

To arms! To arms! and purge the fuckin' xenos!
To arms! To arms! and purge the fuckin' xenos!

Now John Fuklaw was an awesome sight,
And rallied us into the fight!
To arms! To arms! To arms! Fire away!

And Raepfist cut a bloody swathe
and Conrad Raege had to laugh and scoff
Push on! Push on! Push on! Valiant men.

Bring up that flamer trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah!
Let's give 'em hell, and then die well!
In service to the Emprah!

Advance! Advance! They're no match for us trooper!
Advance! Advance! Ave Imperiator!

OH I love to serve the Emprah! Hoorah! HOORAH!
On his holy land I'll take my stand-
To fight on for the Emprah!

Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise be to Holy Terra!
Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise the Immoooooooortal Emprah!

Everyone Has Aids (Team America: World Police)

Everyone has WARP WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP! Everyone has WARP!

And so this is the end of our story and everyone is dead from WARP. It took from me my favorite son My only true Warmaster My conqueror of bright stars (He got WARPed)

Well I'm gonna march on Terra! Lead the Astartes and charge the brigades! There's a Daemon inside of all of us... I'll make them see, everyone has WARP.

My Commisar! (WARP!) My Astropath! (WARP!) My Chaplain and Librarian and Captain! (WARP! WARP! WARP!) The Xeno and witch, and the mutant and psyker!

Everyone has WARP! My techpriest and my squig Old Blue WARP! WARP! WARP! The Primarch's got it and so do you! WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP! Come on everybody we got purgin' to do! It's time to exterminate these worlds everyone has WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! (WARP!)

American Pie (Don McLean)

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that cultist used to make me smile.

And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those xenos dance
And, maybe, they’d be purg'ed for a while.
But February made me shiver
With every bolt round I’d deliver.

Heresy on the doorstep,
I couldn’t take one more step.
I can’t remember if I wrrryed
When I read about his lolcron bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So die die, from the flames in the sky,
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the litanies of hate,
And do you live in the EMPRAHS faith,
If the Codex tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can crack cocaine save your heretic soul,
And can you teach me how to wrrrry real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your boots.
Man, I dig those rhythmic blues.

I was a lonely teenaged scout marine
With a camo cloak colored brown and green
I knew to see but not be seen
The day the music died.
I started singin’,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Now since M.30 we’ve been on our own
And heresy grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the harlequin sang with the noise marine,
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while Lord Tzeentch was looking down,
A loota boy stole his JUST AS PLANNED crown.
The classroom was adjourned;
No grade report was returned.
And while Kharn raged about METAL BOX,
Macha tried to get some in the park,
And we rolled sixes in the dark
The day the music died.
We were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter,
The birds flew off the Exterminatus shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast.
Nurgle-tan let loose a cloud of gas.
Macha still couldn't get no ass,
With old Failbaddon in a cast.

Now Cultist-chan wore cheap perfume
While doomrider played a Slaaneshi tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
The Angry Marines tried to take the field;
The Emperors Children refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed

The day the music died?
We started singing,
"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
All GRIMDARK and lost in space,
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick!
Candlejack sat on a can-
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that daemon’s spell.
And as I purged her in the night
To show her the emperors shining light,
I saw Eldrad laughing with delight
The day the music died.

He was singing,
"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

I met a farseer who's love did bloom
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the wargear store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the techpriests said the music wouldn’t play.

Hand een thee stweets: thee childwen scweamed,
Thee lovers cwied, and thee poeets dweamed.
But not a hword hwas spoken;
Thee chyurch bells all were broken.
Hand thee thwee men Ay hadmire most:
Thee father, son, hand thee holy ghost,
They captyoored thee lhast train fooor thee coast
Thee day thee myoosick died.

And they were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

"Die die, from the flames in the sky."
Drove my raider to the crater,
But the crater was dry.
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die.
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Emprah's Rangers

[Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind]: "Inquisitor! Heretics, Xenos, and Mutants are abound! Recruit a team of Acolytes with attitude!"
[Inquisitor]: "Ayayayayay!"

They've got, a power and a faith that you'vew never seen before!
They've got, the ability to smite and to even up the score!
No Grot, can ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side!
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers!

They know, the fate of Holy Terra's lieing in their hands!
They know, to always use their weapons at the first chance!
No Cult will ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side!
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers!

The Unclean, can never take them down! The Emprah lies on their side!
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers!
Go go Emprah's Rangers!
Go go Emprah's Rangers!
Go go Emprah's Rangers!

"And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy'"

When I I was a young man I flew in a ship,
and lived the free life of a scouter.
From the Twin Star of Aphor to the Aquila Rift,
I danced my old scoutship all over.
Then in nought-oh-fifteen, the Emp-ror said "Son,
It's time time to stop scoutin', there's work to be done."
So they gave me a rank bar,
a Cruiser, a gun,
and they sent me away to the War.

And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy'
as we boarded the Santa Maree,
and amidst all the cheers,
the cannonade and tears,
we left for Bellerophon III.

How well I remember the sight I saw then,
the proud Navy cut down and shattered.
And how in the hell that they called Lagrange Ten,
We were butchered like poor bloody cattle.
Old Boney was ready, he'd primed himself well,
he cut us with Lances, and broke us with shell.
And in five minutes flat,
he had blown us to hell,
nearly blew me right back to Agrippa.

And the Vox played 'Fight on, the Navy',
as we formed up and counted the slain.
We'd lost half of ours,
for a handful of theirs,
but we charged right on back in again.

Now us that were left, well, we tried to survive,
in a mad world of lanceshot and boarders.
And for nine minutes ten I kept my boys alive,
as around me our numbers grew lesser.
Then a whole mess of guardsmen stormed onto the bridge,
they shot down old Kelley, the Nav and the Kid,
and for some bloody reason, they just let me live.
Never knew there were worse things than dying.

For I'll do no more dancing my scouter,
I thought as I ran for the pod,
for a scout can't feel dread,
he's got more balls than head,
and that's one thing a coward ain't got.

The handful of pods left I gathered to me,
and we left like a bolt from a barrel.
A dozen survivors of two-million-odd men,
the Grand Fleet of Admiral Karil.
And as we all dove into Catan's dock ring,
and the three from the Mada all started to sing,
the thought of my men,
had a horrible sting,
for not one had lived through the battle.

And the band played 'Fight on , the Navy',
for the wives of the men of Catan,
Nobody cheered,
they just saw us and stared,
and then, the crying began.

And now every march day I sit in the crowd,
and watch the young guardsmen walk on then.
I wonder to myself, not speaking aloud,
why there's not one vet'ran with them.
The young men march stiffly, all upright with pride,
they're all brave young soldiers with nothing to hide.
And then one kid asks,
"Is that how daddy died?"
And I don't have the courage to tell him.

And the band plays 'Fight on, the Navy',
As I answer my question before.
If the march they could give,
to the men who had lived,
not one man would dare march at all.

Dancin' my scouter, dancin' my scouter,
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me?
And their ghosts may be heard as you dance on by Bellerophon,
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me?

External Links

• Video of Pocahontas: Savages
• Video of The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys
• Video of The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues
• Video of the Lion King: Be Prepared
• Video of Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody
• Video of Robert Browning's poem My Last Duchess
• Video of Ozzy performing Hellraiser
• Video of Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made for Walking
• Video of My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade
• Video of Iron Maiden: The Trooper
• Video of Harvey Andrews: British Soldier
• Video of Will Smith: Men in Black
• Video of Sabaton: Wolfpack
• Not a Video of A Soldier's Christmas
• Video of Dixie
• Video of Everyone Has Aids