Kobold: Difference between revisions

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Kobolds are a monstrous species that suffers from the severe deficiency of being inferior to humans in every way that matters. Small, weak, arbitrarily evil, and primitive, they are essentially the 1st level adventurer's "Other other white meat" after [[Goblins]] and [[Orcs]]. Supposedly they are exceedingly clever and craft cunning traps to kill off their larger adversaries like some sort of reptilian doglizard vietcong, but it never seems to turn out that way unless the DM decides he violently despises his players. The most legendary instance of this were [http://www.tuckerskobolds.com/ Tucker's Kobolds], the creation of a feverish madman of a DM who wanted to teach his players a lesson. Through a combination of cunning tunnel design, Molotov cocktails and phalanx formation fighting, a simple tribe of kobolds violently decimated an adventuring party that should have walked over them. As the proper [[Martini]] drinking DM is one who despises his players and desires above all to see them suffer, you are well advised to learn from this brave tribe of vietcong kobolds.


The other exception to this rule is the hilariously broken assortment of rules that is [[Pun-Pun]]. Nobody fucks with Pun-Pun.
'''Kobolds''' are a race of creatures from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] series of games. In earlier versions of the game, they were described as doglike creatures, but in more recent editions they have become reptilian and possibly related in some way to [[dragon]]s. In either case, they are small, weak creatures, generally serving in most campaigns as low-level cannon fodder for the adventurers to mow down, much like [[goblin]]s and [[orc]]s.


It is worth noting that if played with the intention of being dangerous, kobolds are far and away the hardest throwaway monsters to fight. It could be likened to a sort of sick, hardcore version of Home Alone, with the kobolds taking the part of a severely deranged and sadistic Kevin McCallister and the PCs taking the part of hopelessly underprepared thugs walking into a situation they cannot have possibly foreseen. If treated like cannon fodder, they are the absolute hands-down easiest things in any edition to kill, including housecats and electric iguanas.
Despite being physically weak, however, kobolds are also described as capable trapsmiths, and are known for creating traps to protect their lairs and dungeons (a habit that is usually ignored or underplayed by most [[DM]]s). This habit - combined with a penchant for lethal tunnel design and group tactics - were famously used in the tale of [[Tucker's Kobolds]] to illustrate that kobolds - and, indeed, any intelligent creature - can remain dangerous to high-level adventurers despite being statistically inferior in just about every way.
 
There is a market in [[3.5]] for kobold [[PC]]s, since their draconian/reptilian ancestry make them one of the only +0 [[Level Adjustment]] races capable of qualifying for much of the additional material in [[splatbook]]s like the Draconomicon and the Book of Dragons. [[Pun-Pun]], for example, is a rather famous [[CharOp]] design that allows a kobold sorceror to attain theoretically unlimited abilities and attributes, using material from splatbooks and the [[Forgotten Realms]] [[campaign setting]].
 
It is worth noting that if played with the intention of being dangerous, kobolds are far and away the hardest throwaway monsters to fight. It could be likened to a sort of sick, hardcore version of Home Alone, with the kobolds taking the part of a severely deranged and sadistic Kevin McCallister and the PCs taking the part of hopelessly underprepared thugs walking into a situation they cannot have possibly foreseen. If treated like cannon fodder, they are the absolute hands-down easiest things in any edition to kill, including [[housecats]] and electric iguanas.


==Cutebolds==
==Cutebolds==
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* [[Unified Setting/Kobolds]]
* [[Unified Setting/Kobolds]]
* [[A Bold Move]]
* [[A Bold Move]]
* [[Tucker's Kobolds]]


[[Category:Races]]
[[Category:Races]]

Revision as of 14:03, 26 January 2010

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Kobolds are a race of creatures from the Dungeons & Dragons series of games. In earlier versions of the game, they were described as doglike creatures, but in more recent editions they have become reptilian and possibly related in some way to dragons. In either case, they are small, weak creatures, generally serving in most campaigns as low-level cannon fodder for the adventurers to mow down, much like goblins and orcs.

Despite being physically weak, however, kobolds are also described as capable trapsmiths, and are known for creating traps to protect their lairs and dungeons (a habit that is usually ignored or underplayed by most DMs). This habit - combined with a penchant for lethal tunnel design and group tactics - were famously used in the tale of Tucker's Kobolds to illustrate that kobolds - and, indeed, any intelligent creature - can remain dangerous to high-level adventurers despite being statistically inferior in just about every way.

There is a market in 3.5 for kobold PCs, since their draconian/reptilian ancestry make them one of the only +0 Level Adjustment races capable of qualifying for much of the additional material in splatbooks like the Draconomicon and the Book of Dragons. Pun-Pun, for example, is a rather famous CharOp design that allows a kobold sorceror to attain theoretically unlimited abilities and attributes, using material from splatbooks and the Forgotten Realms campaign setting.

It is worth noting that if played with the intention of being dangerous, kobolds are far and away the hardest throwaway monsters to fight. It could be likened to a sort of sick, hardcore version of Home Alone, with the kobolds taking the part of a severely deranged and sadistic Kevin McCallister and the PCs taking the part of hopelessly underprepared thugs walking into a situation they cannot have possibly foreseen. If treated like cannon fodder, they are the absolute hands-down easiest things in any edition to kill, including housecats and electric iguanas.

Cutebolds

Cutebolds are like Kobolds only incredibly cute.

They are pitiful and childish in everything they do, and are innocent enough to not know how to procreate. All they know is that rubbing their noses gives them a guilty pleasure.

See also