Monopoly

It fucking sucks. While it may suck a bag of dog shit, it is the most popular tabletop game ever made. Go figure.

It was made by Charles Darrow while he was out of work during the Depression Era, scribbling on his tablecloth all angry about being poor. So he picked up "The Landlord's Game," changed the properties to be streets of Atlantic City, and sold it off as his own original creation. Since "The Landlord's Game" was made by a woman, who was also a Quaker, nobody gave a shit.

How to play Monopoly

1. Go around for 3 hours
2. Land on Boardwalk with someone else's hotel on it (Mayfair if you're a Britfag)
3. Flip the board
4. ????
5. Profit!

No, really?

Yah rly. The winning condition is "when everyone is broke except for one player." Aside from how "last man standing" boardgames suck, it's possible to play a game that never ends. Try this: get one of the Monopoly computer games, tell it to play with 4 computer players and 0 human players. Put it on 'fast', and come back in a few hours. All four players will have hundreds of thousands of dollars each, with no signs of anyone "losing."

The only way to win is to convince one of your fellow players to do something stupid like sell you a property you need to complete a set.

Special Rules to Make It Fun

Powers for each of the pieces

• Wheelbarrow: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; gain an additional 25 dollars when passing Go
• Battleship: You may fire at any piece directly opposite the Battleship, sending them back to Go. They do not gain money from passing Go.
• Money Bag: Gain $300 when passing Go.
• Horseman: Move an additional spaces equal to your lowest die; when the Horseman lands on an occupied space, the Horseman can choose to send all other pieces back five squares or to the Horseman's nearest property, whichever is closer; when sending a piece back to his property, the Horseman must accompany them
• Automobile: Move twice the number of spaces shown on the die.
• Train Engine: All railroads cost half as much; when rolling a double and not in jail, the Train Engine can move to any owned railroads instead
• Thimble: Wow, what are you, a faggot? Start with half money. Jeez.
• Loom: Pay half as much when renting; mortgages pay 20% more
• Shoe: Same as Horseman
• Dog: The Dog may take the roll of the previous player instead of rolling their own die.
• Iron: Same as Thimble, Queer Eye.
• Hat: Same as Money Bag; Hats are classy.

Waropoly 40,000

In the grim darkness of the future, there is only passing Go...

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This is NOT a stub, that's all there is to know.