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An '''Owlbear''' is what you get when some bored (or very drunk) [[wizard]] combines a [[bear]] and an owl, and they have been a staple [[Dungeons & Dragons]] monster since the first edition. Although they look very [[cute]], plushy, and lovable, they are in fact purebred killers. Once you walk up to one for a hug, you will be immediately improved grabbed and mauled with cuteness until you expire. It's like that one episode of Spongebob where Squidward gets attacked by a sea bear [[Rape|(several times)]]. They '''WILL''' fuck your shit up. | An '''Owlbear''' is what you get when some bored (or very drunk) [[wizard]] combines a [[bear]] and an owl, and they have been a staple [[Dungeons & Dragons]] monster since the first edition. Although they look very [[cute]], plushy, and lovable, they are in fact purebred killers. Once you walk up to one for a hug, you will be immediately improved grabbed and mauled with cuteness until you expire. It's like that one episode of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68h8-ESTY6o Spongebob where Squidward gets attacked by a sea bear] [[Rape|(several times)]]. They '''WILL''' fuck your shit up. | ||
Not as dangerous as the fearsome Ducksnake, or the dreaded [[/co/|Manbearpig]]. | Not as dangerous as the fearsome Ducksnake, or the dreaded [[/co/|Manbearpig]]. | ||
Revision as of 08:23, 11 June 2020
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"when an Owl and a bear love each other very much..."
"you get an Owlbear"
An Owlbear is what you get when some bored (or very drunk) wizard combines a bear and an owl, and they have been a staple Dungeons & Dragons monster since the first edition. Although they look very cute, plushy, and lovable, they are in fact purebred killers. Once you walk up to one for a hug, you will be immediately improved grabbed and mauled with cuteness until you expire. It's like that one episode of Spongebob where Squidward gets attacked by a sea bear (several times). They WILL fuck your shit up.
Not as dangerous as the fearsome Ducksnake, or the dreaded Manbearpig.
If someone asks for the stats of a non-/tg/ character, expect someone to paste the D&D 3.5 owl bear stats.
Some try to make Owlbears scarier by making the name "the best description for a rare, fucked up looking monster", similar to the various mythical beasts like the Chimera or Sphinx, or various cryptids.
See Also
- Owlbears - the RPG
