Rebecca Black

This article is bad, and you should feel bad about it.

This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail. Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.

Just looking at her has been known to induce fury.

Another of several memes that wound up on /tg/ through cross-contamination of /b/ and /v/, Rebecca Black is a fucking horrible singer who did a song called Friday, which can only be described as being akin to subjecting your eardrums to a protracted virus bombing. It is so bad, in fact, that it has managed to drive numerous fa/tg/uys into homicidal frenzies.

This is unusual, for several reasons.

/tg/, historically, knows better than to get involved with hate on music groups/artists that suck - and not simply on matters of principle. When /b/ began a hate-campaign against Justin Bieber, for example, /tg/ just rolled its eyes and went about its usual business of getting shit done, since the userbase of /tg/, being slightly less retarded than most, knows that in a few short years, he won't even exist in the back of our memories anymore, self-destructing or simply getting too old to be viable, much as was the case for every other fucking useless boy band that came out in the 1990s and early 2000s. Suffice to say, when /b/tards brought news of this particular singer to /tg/, it brought out a rare level of rage that only one man thus far has been able to coax out.

None can quite say why the song (and its singer) is so bad; in fact, the entire work as a whole is a rich trapestry of suckage, kind of like a stack of Codexes by Matt Ward. Some parts of the work stand out as particularly stupid; the fact that the entire song is done with the aid of a harmonizer and was done by a bunch of rich white people who think this is akin to Doomrider making a comeback in scope likely does volumes for the hate, as does the obvious 13-year-old driving in the video and the song itself being complete and total feces.

True to form, however, /tg/ has done its time-honored practice of getting shit done and making win out of fail, when one specific fa/tg/uy noticed something that had previously gone unnoticed by most of the other users of /tg/. And when it had been brought to the attentions of those involved, much laughter and humor came about.

Daughter of Boreale

WEHLL DAHN, MAH DAUGHTAR!

The /tg/ meme of Rebecca Black is somewhat different than the simple ones stemming from other boards; /tg/ argues that Rebecca Black is, in fact, the illegitimate daughter of Indrick Boreale. The similarities in their verbiage is just too hilariously similar to be coincidence. Comparing Boreale's SPESS MEHREENS and EMPRAH to the lyrics of Friday certainly strongly suggests it:

SEVEHN A.M. WAHKEN UP IN TEH MAHRNING

GOTTA BE FRESH GOTTA GO DOWNSTEHRS

GOTTA HEV MY BEHWL, GOTTA HEV CEREAHL

SEEING EVEHRYTHAN, THE TAHM IS GOHN

TICKAHN OHN AND OHN, EVEHRYBAHDY'S RUSSIAN

GOTTA GEHT DAHWN TO TEH BUHS STAHP

GOTTA CATCH MAH BUHS, I SEE MAH FREINDS

KICKAHN IN TEH FRAUHNT SEAT

KICKAHN IN TEH BAHCK SEAT

GOTTA MAKE MAH MIND UHP

WHICH SEAT CAHN I TAKE?!

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

FAHN,FAHN,FAHN,FAHN

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND (FOR THE EMPRAH)

7:45, WE'RE DRIVIN' ON TEH HAHWAY

CRUHSEN SO FHAST, I WANT TIME TO FLAYH

FAHN, FAHN THINK 'BOUT FAHN

YOU KNOW WUT IT IS

I GOT DIS, YOU GOT DIS

MAH FREHND IS BAH MY RIGHT

I GOT DIS, YOU GOT DIS

KNOW YOU KNOW

KICKAHN IN TEH FRAUHNT SEAT

KICKAHN IN TEH BAHCK SEAT

GOTTA MAKE MAH MIND UHP

WHICH SEAT CAHN I TEEEAAAAAAAAAKKKKE?!

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

FAHN,FAHN,FAHN,FAHN

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

YESHTERDEH WAS THURDSDAY

TOHDEH IT IS FRIDEH, FRIDEH

WEH, WEH, WEH, SOH EXSHAITED

WE SO EXSHAITED

WEH GHONNA HAVE A BALL TODEH

TOMMOROH IS SATURDAY

AND SUNDEH COMES AFTAHWERDS.

I DOH WANT THIS WEEKEHND TO EEEEEHHHNND!

• Some of the verses are sung by a fairly incompetent rapper, but we don't care about that so resume the fail:*

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

FAHN,FAHN,FAHN,FAHN (YEEEEEAAAAAAAH)

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

FAHN,FAHN,FAHN,FAHN (YEEEEEAAAAAAAH)

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

FOR THE EMPRAH

Noise Marine?

Another theory is that she is actually a noise marine, making her an androgynous boy, but that's just how Slaanesh rolls. I mean, listening to her ear abortion would be enough to kill a man, so why not weaponize it?

Proof is here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNCrCJ5FZu0&feature=related

In Conclusion

The evidence is all-to-clear: Rebecca Black is Boreale's daughter. WHO HAS FALLEN TO THE CAPRICIOUS WILES OF THE BLASPHEMOUS CHAOS GODS!!!

Sadly this fact does not make her not suck ass.

Links and Such

• MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN
• The Original Song Ms.Black finally had enough of the hate. NOT ANYMOAR!
• The song minus the video.

Gallery

• 

  Pic Related.