Tomb Kings

"The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

"To have died once is enough."

-Virgil

The not-Egyptians of Warhammer Fantasy, if every single thing in Egypt died and was mummified but maintained the lifestyle as if still alive for several thousand years before pesky Europeans came to collect gold and tablets.

One of the more underpowered groups on the tabletop due to powercreep in other factions not being fairly distributed around and being structured around Death Star-like massive weaknesses, although not without their strengths. This has resulted in them having a reputation as the single hardest faction in the game to play due to them needing to be played well to achieve victory which puts them in the category of expert difficulty.

Players of the "Other Warhammer" know them as the original basis of the Necrons. In fact, whereas Necrons were originally the soulless and mostly unthinking Terminators like the rank and file troops of the Tomb Kings, later editions made the Necrons almost entirely just Tomb Kings IIIIIIIIN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE by giving the Necron leaders eccentric personalities and rivalries.

History

After the Old Ones created the various races, but before Chaos came and destroyed the Warp Gates, humans (rejected as a failure by the Old Ones due to short lifespans and Chaos corruptibility) expanded throughout the world. The exact direction mankind went is unclear; the Old Ones notoriously created special environments for their creations in order to observe them, and the fact the bulk of Warhammer Africa is one giant bowl called Nehekhara suggests Warhammer Africa really is the cradle of life in the setting as much as it is real life. At any rate, the ancient being known as Drachenfels noted that before Chaos came to the world a race of dark-skinned peoples who he hated had entered his territory as they spread northwards.

Nehekharans were a dark-skinned people, as you would expect, with a pantheon of animal-headed gods and goddesses, as you would expect, had a massive fetish for triangles in architecture, as you would expect, who used gold in everything they did and believed that it belonged to the divine royalty, as you would expect, and were absolutely fascinated by death, which you may have predicted. For many, MANY years the Nehekharans waged wars on each other, built small empires that didn't last long outside their own lifespan, and were entombed in great monuments. During the collapse of the Warp Gates and the ensuing invasions by Chaos, Nehekhara was left completely untouched due to the MASSIVE and almost impossible to traverse mountains that circled most of the subcontinent. What didn't stop however is the flow of magic through the world, in particular the Wind of Death which empowered the priesthood of the Nehekharan pantheon to suddenly be able to produce actual miracles.

Not long after, centuries before the start of the High Elf and Dark Elf civil war, the greatest Nehekharan to have ever lived was born. Settra, who immediately set out on a mission of conquest to become the singular ruler of the entirety of Nehekhara, as well as solidify a single organized religion. Over time his name gained many titles, The Imperishable being the most notorious although its telling that the main job of his greatest warrior was to list them. While most Nehekharan kings before him had been simply spoiled inbred inept brutal dictators who managed to keep even the most prosperous kingdom in a state of constant poverty, Settra built the infrastructure of every land he claimed and spared any who swore loyalty to him while punishing those who did not in unspeakable ways. After doing the unthinkable and uniting his people, he followed it up with a second inconceivable feat; becoming the first Nehekharan king truly loved by his people, and feared only by those with disloyalty in their hearts. As he neared middle age he came to the realization even the greatest king must die, something he refused to accept. The temples of Nehekhara, now called the Priesthood of Awakening, were appointed to use their connections to the Nehekharan gods (implied in some lore to be the same death gods for all races, notably Morr) and their magic to keep him alive forever. The Grand Hierophant (Nehekharan Pope), Khatep, promised him eternal skin made of pure gold, of endless rule, of the pleasures his position of Da Best came with. Instead, they only managed to come up with a way to extend the lives of wealthy Nehekharans to around 300 years or so, and preserve Settra's soul inside his aging body so that future generations could deliver on their promises. Settra sacrificed his children to form a pact with his gods, then allowed the Priests of Nehekhara to mummify and entomb him in his great palace tomb, the Pyramid of Eternity at his capital city of Khemri.

It took very little time for the Nehekharans to break up Settra's dynasty and factions battled for dominance again, although now there was an extra incentive; eternal life and a body of gold for paying into the promises of the priests, not to mention the dick-measuring contest of having the biggest and most elaborate tomb (to the point that some were cities for the living before, sometimes even after, the intended occupant died). The only unspoken rule was that nobody's could be taller than Settra's, for even thousands of years after his death the man was feared and loved.

The next major event would come five hundred years after Settra's reign, the birth of the OTHER greatest Nehekharan. Nagash. By that point, the tradition was that firstborn sons were given to the priesthood to train, the second born inherits the throne. Nagash had the misfortune of desiring power and respect but being the firstborn, and fostered a deep hatred of his brother (and healthy amount of lust for his brother's wife) and the systems the Nehekharans had developed. One day, Dark Elves were captured and brought to the palace. Nagash was put in charge of interrogating them, and discovering not only what they were but why they had come. Instead, Nagash tortured the female in their number (as only female Dark Elves are allowed to learn magic as their leader Malekith fears a prophesy involving a male Elf wizard killing him) until she spilled the secrets of true magic to him. Rather than mastering an existing Lore of magic, Nagash managed to do something no other being in Elflands, South America, or The Warp had done; invent Necromancy, recording all of his discoveries in nine books called the Nine Books Of Nagash (title needed a bit of work). Nagash promptly killed his brother and sent his right hand man, Arkhan The Black, to lead a massive army of the Undead and become Settra 2.0. During the war Nagash built a pyramid made of pure Warpstone, the Black Pyramid, which dwarfed Settra's pyramid by a great deal.

Regardless of the immensely powerful magics used by Nagash and Arkhan, they were defeated by the son of a man named Lahmizzar from the kingdom of Lahmia that had united all other Nehekharans against the Undead, and Nagash was driven into the desert as man older than a century while Arkhan lead a suicide attack to buy his master time to escape. Nagash wandered through the desert until he simply died, then got back up as his Elixir of Longevity proved to be a success and continued moving as the very first free-willed Undead. Arkhan in the meantime had been taken prisoner, and given to the descendants of Lahmizzar. The brother, a warlord with no interest in the more complex natures of what they were dealing with, left his power-hungry sister named Neferata in charge of interrogating Arkhan. With his help, she entered the Black Pyramid and stole one of Nagash's books. Neferata developed a crush on Arkhan as both were semi-hedonistic nobility that craved independence that their circumstances kept them from possessing. Neferata poured over the recipe for the Elixir of Longevity and eventually sampled her own perfected version which would keep her youthful and fleshy in contrast with Nagash's extremely anorexic look. The unfortunate cost of Neferata's elixir was a need to drink blood for all nourishment, although the powerful queen kept herself fed on the slaves of her kingdom easily. Some time later she shared the elixir with her favorite people including her husband, the Captain of the Guard, her local priest, her cousin, and others. Lahmia quickly became a den of the very first Vampires in the setting, and after the death of her brother Neferata took control of the kingdom.

However, Neferata couldn't keep the horrifying rumors of her people secret and word spread throughout Nehekhara that the Lahmian court had become Nagash-worshiping monsters (not untrue). Neferata's solution was to accuse her cousin, High Queen Khalida who was essentially a Paladin queen of the nearby kingdom of Lybaras, of being a bloodsucking Undead. The already stupid plan failed when Neferata's duel for honor with Khalida resulted in both receiving mortal wounds despite Neferata's immense power. In desperation she sucked Khalida's blood in front of the assembled nobility who fled in horror to alert Nehekhara that the Undead had returned. Neferata attempted to turn Khalida into a Vampire, but Khalida's dying prayers to her snake goddess Asaph turned her blood to venom and purged the Vampiric taint. Khalida's body was recovered and her people buried her as the greatest Nehekharan monarch after Settra ("greatest ever" is a theme with Nehekharan royalty) while the rest of their people gathered in a massive army.

The Vampires fled to the Black Pyramid where they found Nagash waiting for them, eager to take these new generals to lead the Undead against the living once more. The battle raged for some time, and the leader of the living was captured and held while Nagash used the break in the fighting to begin casting a spell that would kill all life in Nehekhara for use as his animated skeleton army to march on the rest of the world. Unbeknownst to all beings involved, the Skaven had been watching the conflict and were horrified at what Nagash could do to the world if left undefeated. They forged the ultimate weapon made of pure Warpstone, a dagger so dangerous that upon touching it the bearer was doomed to a horrible and painful death and gave it to the leader of the living, who killed Nagash with it before perishing himself and falling into the ocean where he turned up later bearing Nagash's Crown Of Command. Nagash, as one last "FUCK YOU" to the living, repurposed his spell to simply kill everything in Nehekhara. Although always a desert with ample skulls (it IS a Games Workshop IP afterall), the spell rendered the entire land devoid of water or vegetation while the ground layer immediately below the sand is made up of solid skeletons. Animals, merely animated bones, still wander the desert looking for living flesh to tear.

The Vampires began to fight over who's fault the defeat was before making their way north to find more living beings. Some among their number had already fled previously, with Neferata and her husband having deserted even before the battle out of disdain for having to potentially follow Nagash as their leader, while the Captain of the Guard had left immediately after the battle in shame.

The most drastic effect of the spell was the effect it had on the dead; those killed by the spell immediately stood back up, bewildered at their new state. Desert winds stripped the dead flesh from the Nehekharans, leaving only bleached and animated bones remaining. As they returned to their homes they found that the kings of old, now called Tomb Kings, had awoken as well as those Nehekharans who had been entombed in their great tomb cities over the centuries. The commoners were content to reenact their living ways by maintaining the buildings, and shifting from buying, harvesting, and selling food to buying, crafting, "harvesting", and selling rocks and bones shaped like food. This however was not enough for the Tomb Kings. As hundreds upon thousands of generations in the same family line awoke, they immediately came into conflict with one another. For example, great great great great grandpa was enraged at how everyone had forgotten his name and accomplishments, great great great grandpa was shocked that his own son had taken his tomb and shoved the old man's body in a slave's casket in the entrance, great great grandpa demanded explanation for why his son had signed a peace treaty with the king who killed him in a war rather than avenge his father, grandpa revealed his son was a bastard that washed up on shore because his own sister/wife had miscarried every babby, dad died at the age of 14 after conceiving a child and demanded a prom be thrown in his honor, son had changed the main faith of the kingdom to another god and pissed off everyone else in the line, and grandson had failed to stop Nagash. Every single one of them wants to be in charge, and sit in the throne that every single one of them sat at during their reign, and every single one has a big enough and infinitely respawning army of skeletons to use to demand they get their way. Fueling the frustration was the relatively poor upkeep many of the early tombs had seen, on top of the worst offense at all; no body of gold, no immortal flesh, only brittle bone and wrappings with the odd scarab or two scuttling around the hollow places inside. The only exception to the dusty carnage was Khalida, who strode past her warring ancestors who fought over the palace to her own palace which had been located inside the Temple of Asaph, wearing the golden armor and death mask her people had made for her and resembling the promised skin no other Tomb King had received, and took her throne to usher in the only peace to be found in the lands of the dead.

The priesthood, now mummies themselves, found they had absolutely no power over the enraged entirety of the Nehekharan existence. Without option, Khatep (who had reclaimed his Grand Hierophant role) chose to seek out the only Nehekharan who had ever brought peace to the land; Settra, the only Tomb King who had not awoken with Nagash's spell. Settra's first order of business was to banish Khatep to seek a way to give Settra his promised golden skin. Second, beat the shit out of EVERY Tomb King and secure oaths of loyalty from them. Settra's masterful tactics and general ferocity in battle allowed him to capture each king and end what would otherwise have been eternal wars. Those who bowed and sent tribute were released and allowed to fight over territory with their fellows if they so fit, so long as they knew who the true king was. Those who refused were granted horrible fates even for the undying, including being spread piece by piece into the desert and having their skull used as replenishing artillery ammo for catapults, while on fire. This thinned out the ranks enough to have enough kings able to claim at least a portion of the empires they had while alive. Settra respected Khalida, and secured her oath without need for conflict.

After Settra reestablished the Tomb Kings, he set his sights on eliminating the threat of Nagash as the first Lich was just as undying as the Tomb Kings, and would return in time. Arkhan became a Tomb King mercenary, working for anyone and everyone (even once creating a giant magical bridge for a Tomb King to ride chariots to other lands on) while not-so secretly working on Nagash's resurrection. Khatep wanders the world, looking for a way to give the Tomb Kings solid gold cocks again. Khalida attempts to wipe out all Vampires, everywhere because fuck Vampires and fuck Neferata. Many Tomb Kings and their architects awoke to find their temples desecrated and/or looted, sometimes even by non-Nehekharans! Oftentimes Dwarfs or Warriors of Chaos were to blame, and any Tomb King worth anything will slaughter a genocidal path through the descendants of the thieving fucks while retrieving every single last fleck of gold dust. Other Tomb Kings have taken to enjoying their respawning nature to hunt greenskins or even Daemons like animals for sport. Beyond that even, some wish to emulate what they had in life and will trade or raid other parts of the world to gather anything from real food to slaves for unnecessary harems to fine silks to weave the emblems that otherwise only exist within their own memory on.

Tomb Kings have absolutely no consistent alignment. Some destroy the living out of envy, others like Khalida work willingly with the living, still others like Settra give no fucks as long as you're their underling. Even on the tabletop, the Tomb Kings army is completely Neutral and can work with any other faction.

Heroes

The Bob Marley of Warhammer

There are some cool heroes in the Tomb Kings army:

-Settra the Imperishable: Settra is like an undead spellcasting Chuck Norris. He's got a weapon skill of 7 and a strength of 6 and eats lesser characters for breakfast. He also has the best beard in the whole Warhammer Realm, this alone making him worth his points. Some claim that Settra is in fact a rastaman, judging by both the length of his beard and the amount of spells he can dish out each turn. He is also made out of an intense amount of cheese. He was nerfed in the more recent edition, but in return you can use him in a 2000pt army.

-High Queen Khalida: First off, Khalida is by far the hottest undead woman out there. She got into a badass cat-fight with this vampire chick. Khalida lost, badly, but because she could please the snake (the Asp Goddess) she was granted freedom from becoming a vampire. She also got a badass codpiece, and initiative 9, and the unit she joins gains poisoned attack. She used to be even better, but they cut her point cost and regeneration ability. All in all though, with the models costing half the points, it's bearable.

-The Herald Nekaph Nekaph is the best buddy of the undead spellcasting Chuck Norris. He is NOT nice in challenges. He will mangle any Hero he thinks smells a bit off, and can munch some Lords for breakfast too. And so will his flail. It is made of SKULZ. Khorne likes this flail. It gives him lots of lulz and stuff.

-Prince Apophas:-- He was an evil asshole, so he was put into a crypt to be eaten by beetles. He made a deal with a god though, and now he can fly and barf insects on people. He's a super-powerful warmachine killer. Beyond that, he's not entirely worth it when you consider all the heroes you can choose from. He is also "resembles" but is legally distinct from a similarly named character in an Egyptian themed sci-fi tv show, the titular character from The Mummy and the Egyptian god of evil and chaos and stuff (though you can't copyright ancient mythology) Terrible.

-Rahmhotep the Visionary:-- Nehekhara's best architect and most merciless taskmaster. In return for building monuments, the ancient architects would be sacrificed so their ideas couldn't be shared with other kings than the ones who commissioned them, so the man got his fellow builders wasted and then he'd disguise himself as them and go around building monuments. Yeah, how many people can say they escaped sacrifice several times and walk around like nothing was new.

Song

A miniature named Settra found a secret out this year,

that he could avoid death and make his people rule the world,

and now some sorcerer named Nagash tries to get him day and night,

but Settra has four thousand points to protect his very life.

He has the Tomb Kings: from 1525 B.C.

He has the Tomb Kings: protection on a roll of 3!

He has the Tomb Kings: they're hanging out by the Black Gulf.

He has the Tomb Kings: Araby they will soon Engulf.

He has the Tomb Kings: from 1525 B.C.

He has the Tomb Kings: protection on a Roll of 3.

He has the Tomb Kings: they're hanging by the Badland's Gate.

He has the Tomb Kings: they will enslave the world today,

the Nehekharan way.

They're Tooooooomb Kiiiiiings Alive!

Gallery

• 

  The 8e Army Book.

See Also

• Tactics/Tomb Kings
• Necrons - With their recent 6th edition fluff update, Necrons are now the TOMB KINGS IN SPEHSS of the 41st millenia.
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3vhpk7DhZM Tomb Kings themesong
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJ7BOeCpkY&feature=player_embedded#! Tomb Kings better themesong
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Icwd9HYIuq8&feature=player_embedded#! A rather more serious themesong, done by Egyptian Death Metal band Nile.