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Revision as of 00:30, 8 April 2015
This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you. |
Towergirls (or Tower Girls) is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure chart detailing a variety of princesses alongside the question of which one(s) the reader would save. It originated from a 'creative' /v/ thread where posters would fill in a meme, the subject of which was a knight bursting through a door with the text "Princess, I've come for you!". The subsequent panel would then be open to the interpretation of the artist. This meme is believed by some to have been inspired by the oft-posted comic depicting a knight rescuing a princess who is revealed to be a kobold. The artist for every major iteration of the Towergirls CYOA thus far (not including 'fan general', 'wyvern/horse princess' edits, etc.) is "Gats" who is seen a the keeper of canon for Towergirls (although he has stated repeatedly that the chart and perks are more suggestion than canon and can be interpreted any way you see fit). The person behind the "Princess, I've come for you!" meme is unknown. Furthermore, another Anon began a project to craft a figurine of each princess.
Within the context of the chart, the "player" is a brave knight who rescues princesses/princes/generals who marry him/her. A large (and constantly growing thanks to a template) list is given, as well as rules for that list. Each option has their own Love, Lust, Wealth, and Power stats along with Likes and Dislikes. Each also has one or more Dowry options, most of which increase the appeal of that princess (compatible sexual organs, the ability to reciprocate emotion, the ability to live comfortably in the princess's environment, and so on). Some however have idols or companions instead of Dowries. Many in earlier incarnations have an army option, although this comes as both an advantage and a disadvantage at times (for example Ant Princess is very poor but has a very large army but they are loyal to her instead of you, or Fish Princess whose army cannot fight on land) although later versions dropped this.
Players may build a harem, or stick to one or two princesses for maximum benefit. Princesses come in multiple tiers, and knights come in multiple flavors (including "is a girl").
The game has far-reaching popularity, with boards like /co/ and /vg/ adding related Princesses (like Krogan Princess, or McDuck Princess) to their charts. Tumblr has also developed a Towergirls community of artists.
For those who claim the concept is sexist, one must remember that the game is essentially the often-praised romantic subplot of games such as Mass Effect and Dragon Age but with all the pesky non-romance content removed. Also any animation. For now. Technically speaking there is a non-"harem builder" element as there is suggested risk in rescuing, empire-building, and actually getting romantic attachment between you. However, this is left to your imagination currently. It is left unestablished whether or not your peasants will blend with the peoples of the princesses.
You don't like it? Move to Russia.
Current Version
All Three Generations, 60 princesses, plus neutral companions and bonus rewards, all done. Once again proving /tg/ gets shit done, at least when somebody with actual talent helps out.
Origin
Possible Pre-Origin Inspiration
What may have started it all. The artist is "Guoh".
Continuation
After the initial popularity, the comic was continued by other artists to it's...logical conclusion.
The /v/ Meme
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The /v/ template.
Gats' Towergirls
In continual development.
Charts
Soon, there were thought experiments, from whence all others sprang.
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Take your pick, lads.
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Featuring both changes for "balance," and some beefcake for all you lady knights out there!
Generation I
The first generation of princesses are held by the first Dragon Princess, who most likely wants to eat them. You are a young knight on your first quest, armed with a sword and a bag containing an assortment of chocolates shaped like penises (no, you aren't allowed to ask why) and have a magic wagon to carry the damsels formerly in distress with. However it only holds four things (regardless of size or weight) other than yourself and a single dowry belonging to the first princess you save, so you must decide whether to fill each space with a dowry or a princess. Any princesses not rescued will either die or be rescued by other knights, you don't know which unless you persuade Dragon Princess 1 to marry you in which case the remaining princesses simply await rescue. Or starvation. Likely rescue. Dragon Princess 1 sits in a cave with her treasure hoard, while the other princesses are to be found in towers arranged around DP1's tower. A Mimic can also be found imitating princesses within. The rules of princess-rescuing (which is universal to all sapient life) involve them giving their dowry to you, to use as you see fit. After rescue, as you spend time with the princess(es) and indulge in their various desires, you build their "lust" stat and upon maxing it out you receive an item or bonus from them (as this happens after rescuing, the cart is not involved).
As you rescue the princesses, your single (very, very small) fief grows as their (usually small) kingdoms/territories are added to it.
Ace, The Knight
Because the protagonist needs some love too, right?
Kobold Princess
It should come as no surprise, considering the (suspected) origin, that Kobold Princess is the first and arguably the most well-known princess. Given that she is a Kobold, you most likely get access to her people's trap-making skills.
Human Princess
Because vanilla isn't a bad flavor. Human princess wants babbys, and fits into a more traditional idea for heirs. She's also quite wealthy, and benefits from political marriages.
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Thus, Skeleton Princess JR was born.
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Insect Princess
She wants a big family. Fancanon suggests Ant Princess is in fact far more clever than Ace suspects; behind the image of a small-minded giant ant woman eschewing tea for the entire sugar bowl is in fact the head of The Family, using the dimwitted but loyal Knight as the face for her empire ten times as large below the ground as what sits above.
Skeleton Princess
Spooky is a fetish, right?
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She gets along with Slime and Dragon at least.
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"That face you make as you get bone-burn is so cute."
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Slime Princess
More talkative than one would expect, fancanon is that she was apparently once human and the skeleton inside her is her own. Fancanon is she's also a bit of a bully to your other wives, thanks to Sculptanon's group figure poses. Slime Princess has her own Tumblr now.
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Slime, no.
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Bad slime.
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Very bad slime.
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Mermaid Princess
Knight Princess
Your horse, or hers? No seriously, take hers. One of the other princesses ate yours.
With the original Towergirls lineup where only one princess is chosen, taking Knight Princess resulted in going on a crusade and eventually dying in battle without a permanent home. That is no longer a thing.
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Sometimes it's nice to be the one being rescued for a change.
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Meanwhile, your guards are prepared to repel what sounded like a thousand knights charging the castle walls.
Harpy Princess
Boy Princess
Because we want Pixiv interested too!
Orc Princess
Dwarf Princess
Dwarf Princess II
Amazon Princess
Ghost Princess
You mean Skeleton Princess can get nakeder?
Golem Princess
She's your little ימאָרטאַל שיינע. Golem Princess is most likely (unless you become immortal) doomed to a Bad End herself as she will remain by your side, even as you rot in your grave and the last stars of the universe fade. So watch your health, okay?
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She's got a thing for shiny metal asses. Luckily you have one too.
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WORST END!
Succubus Princess
Goblin Princess
Drider Princess
Mimic Princess
Wait, when did we get two Human Princesses?
Mimic was originally a "comedic Bad End" choice which became a legitimate princess later as people became interested. Canon from Gats is that Mimic Princess is three Mimics, and otherwise it's totally open to interpretation. Popular fan canon is that the three Mimics that Mimic Princess is made of share a hivemind granting her sapience, making the Mimic "kingdom" of Mimics drawn to her influenced by her mental state and that with the increased intelligence came advanced self-shaping meaning the normally asexual aberration Mimics are indeed female. Furthermore she is willing to learn, making part of Ace's building of the lust meter simply civilizing her.
"Okay, let's pretend the duke and his wife are coming over. What do we do?"
"EATGUESTS!"
"No! No no no, we..."
"...talk guests. 'Such fine day, that was nice opera, have some cake.'"
"Right! Then-"
"EATCAKE!"
"...yes. Very good, then we eat cake."
Further fancanon says that an evil Knight ends up with a realm mostly made up of Mimics, his kingdom becoming a hellish landscape of eyes and mouths on every surface while a good Knight results in the people finding their lives easier as bins consume waste, chairs pull themselves out, and mirrors make smalltalk.
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Wait, that's not what went i-fuck it, who cares.
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I think this is legit.
Dragon Princess
The ever popular, ever drooling Dragon Princess. Interestingly, nobody seems to ever take the dowry that makes them a dragon too... Dragon Princess 1 has a massive appetite, and apparently is very willing to eat her hoard if famished enough. Some Anons interpret this as a vore-risk if you cannot keep her satisfied with more gold, livestock, maybe a peasant or two. Others simply make her a glutton that wants maor.
A particular anon figured out a combination of Dowries and bonuses to give Ace an unending amount of coins as ejaculate, theoretically keeping DP1 pleased forever. This later earned a fapfic.
Dragon Princess 1 comes in as the most popular princess after Kobold for artists.
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Little known fact; there was a dinosaur thought to lactate. Not that artists need an excuse.
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Dragon, no.
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Now with her own template!
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For your 360° creativity.
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Yes, it is possible.
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Not that getting creative is a bad thing though.
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Don't worry, she can't get any further. Dragon filled up on your peasants and livestock beforehand.
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That's our Ace!
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Generation II
Dawn Elf Princess
Assassin Princess
Nomad Princess
May or may not be a relative of Crazy Hassan.
Pirate Princess
Ogre Princess
Zombie Princess
Plant Princess
Witch Princess
Fairy Princess
Centaur Princess=
Gorgon Princess
Frog Princess
Sadly, does not sing 1930's style jazz music.
Angel Princess
She'll catch you if you fall.
Monkey Princess
Cat Princess
Arcane Princess
Armor Princess
Crest Princess
Merchant Princess
Dragon Princess II
Unlike her sisters, Dragon Princess II is totally independent of your shit. She's smarter than you or anyone else you will ever meet will ever be, and you were confused even before you asked what she was working on. Good thing she thinks you're cute and worth her attention.
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With lots of dedication and hard work, Dragon Princess II could probably raise Ace's INT to the point he can have an alignment.
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Generation III
Holstaur Princess (Milk Maidens)
Mouse Princess (The Hourly Sisters)
Rabbit Princess (The Bunny Colony)
Dusk Elf Princess (Bodyguard Orc Trio)
Vampire Princess (The Bad Brides)
Dog Princess (Dog Princess)
Djinn Princess (Ifrit Catamite)
Triclops Princess (The Princess's Herd)
Raider Princess (The Draught Wolf)
Eldritch Princess (The Pleasant Cultists)
Lamia Princess (The King of Shrouds)
Imp Princess (The Devilish Do-Gooders)
Moth Princess (The Twin Wisps)
Sphinx Princess (Jackal Tactician)
Yeti Princess (The Straw Ro-Lang)
Sword Princess (The Shield Maiden)
Jester Princess (The Puppet Princesses)
Faun Princess (Lyrical Nymph Band)
Crystal Princess (Supportive Geode Dad)
Dragon Princess III (False Knight Companion)
Paladin General
Barbarian General
Incubus General
Border General
Jadeite Beast
Lazulite Beast
Sinhalite Beast
Citrine Beast
Physicker Master
Wizard Master
Huntress Master
Funk Master
Noble Courtier
Squire Courtier
Friar Courtier
Monk Courtier
Generation III Rewards
Something of an "achievements" page, by your selections in princesses you are eligible for bonuses. Many are just clothes (again, vidya-style achievements) but some are extra powers, even additional princesses!
Loyal Knight
Earned by staying true to a single Princess and only rescuing her. Gain new armor befitting your status, a cloak your new queen knitted for you, and being the only one with this amazing title.
White Knight
A chaste knight, regardless of rescued princesses.
Dullahan Princess
By taking the Heart Band and Mind's Key, the lust items earned by pleasuring both Armor and Crest Princesses, you can merge their head and body back together as an extremely powerful undead Knight Princess.
Primeval Princess
By combining Dullahan Princess with Arcane Princess and Sword Princess, this ultimate princess is formed.
Dragon Queen
The mother of the three Dragon Princesses, Dragon Queen is supreme ruler of the Grand Tower Kingdom and will visit your kingdom if you marry all of her daughters.
Smuhg
By doing nothing and saving no princesses at all, you can become the Chaos God of Laziness. Nobody likes you if you do this.
Tower Princess
By traveling through time to obtain every princess, dowry, idol, and companion your kingdom (which is fucking massive) becomes a living princess made of towers.
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Way to break the game there, Ace.
Mystery Box
Trade in any and all bonuses for a random shot at a bonus, including princesses not found on the chart!
Other Princesses
The followibg are fan creations, and not part of the core game.
Wyvern Princess
Bobbit Worm Princess
[Entry Not Found]
Kitchen Princess
A spin-off to the Kobold Princess above, done apparently in response to some anon who liked fat/stuffing pics. She is basically a big-bellied brown Kobold wearing a busted pot as a crown. Kitchen Princess's stats are almost identical to her Kobold Princess counterpart, aside from the fact she has maxed Love and no Wealth.
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Soldier approved.
Gnoll Princess
What can be said that you aren't already thinking?
Groups
Because afterall, it's a harem game!
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Notice them at your own risk.
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See Also
- Divinity: Dragon Commander - A legitimate vidya with similar elements.
- The Tower Girls Booru
- Towergirls threads on 8chan.