Twilight

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Twilight is the next level of obnoxious fangirl faggotry, after the Harry Potter series.

Plot Synopsis

Basically a Mary Sue named Bella gets saved from a car crash by Edward, who is also a Marty Stu and looks all gothy and shit.

After half a book of plodding romantic crap, we learn that he's a vampire (as though the sunken eyes and pale skin weren't a massive tipoff).

Most of the of the "action" revolves around Bella being saved by her hot sexy bloodsucking boyfriend and ends in a "twist" that can best be summed up as;

I'm gonna die a horrible death during childbirth, and my kid's gonna look like a hellspawn all because I fucked a vampire. "Oh hold the phone, it's ok, he's going to turn me into a vampire too, and mystical vampire magic will heal my spine so I can frolic through the forest in heels and a cocktail dress while my werewolf ex-boyfriend tries to fuck my baby daughter."

Did we mention it's swamped with Mary Sues?

The movie version is so bad even the Rifftrax version sucks donkey balls.

In conclusion:

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEE

External Links

• Bum Reviews on Twilight.
• Stephanie Meyer sucks. Stephen King agreed, don't argue about it.

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  Not even Japan is safe.

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  Sir Stephen, King of Trolls.

• Bella giving birth to a beautiful baby boy! ^-^

  Bella giving birth to a beautiful baby boy! ^-^

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  Know the difference, it could save your life.

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• If you look at this picture, you've basically read the book.

  If you look at this picture, you've basically read the book.