You rolled a 1

Check	What happens
Alchemy	It exploded in your face. Take ½ subdued damage.
Animal Empathy	The animal attacks you.
Appraise	It is worth something. Probably.
Balance	You trip over your own feet.
Barter	SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION COMRADE
Bluff	You tell them the truth.
Climb	You break the thing you're climbing on and tumble down.
Composure	You begin ranting your darkest secrets.
Concentration	Ooh! Shiny!
Craft/ Use Magic Device	It breaks as soon as you touch it.
Decipher Script	The exact translation is “qwertyuiop, asdfghjkl”.
Diplomacy	"Tell me your name, horse-f*cker, and I'll tell ye mine."
Disable Device	You place your finger in a mouse trap.
Disguise	You place a big red arrow pointing at you over your head.
Escape Artist	You become more entangled, escape DC increases by 1d6.
Forgery	It looks like a child using crayons made it.
Gather Information	"Water is wet."
Handle Animal	It bites/kicks you.
Heal	You poke your finger in the wound and deal 1d4 damage.
Hide	You hold up a stick in front of your face.
Intimidate	“You’re a fat big poopy head!”
Intuit Direction	You place you hands over your eyes and spin around.
Jump	You fall flat on your face. Do not make a Tumble check.
Knowledge	It may or may not exist.
Listen	You hear crickets.
Move Silently	Thor the god of thunder is trying to enter my building!
Open Lock	You break your tool in the keyhole, jamming it.
Perform	You are run out of town. By an angry mob.
Pick Pocket	You punch them in the face.
Profession	You're fired.
Read Lips	Like lip reading a sock puppet.
Ride	You are trampled by your own horse.
Scry	You spy on a brick wall.
Search	You find your other hand.
Sense Motive	"They do not have a motive."
Spellcraft	It's magic! No, really!
Spot	You spot your nose.
Survival	You jump into an alligator pit.
Swim	You sink down like a rock.
Tumble	You fall on your head. Take falling damage +10 ft.
Wilderness Lore	You identify the dirt as being dirt.
Initiative	You do not know you're in combat until you get hit.
Melee attacking	Your weapon flies off in a random direction, roll on a table.
Ranged attack	You shoot yourself in the face. With a rock.
Fortitude save	You somehow contract a random STD, roll a d6 on the table.
Reflex save	You zigged when you should have zagged.
Will save	Spell becomes Dominate Person.
Bear lore	It's a man in a bear suit look it's Nicolas Cage!