Battle for Dominus Pillowus

On a backwater Imperial planet. a Guardsman buys a Celestine Bodypillow from a passing Rogue Trader. Fearing reprise from an angry Commissar, he tattles on the Commissar's xenofucking habits to a Priest. Said priest turns out to be an undercover Inquisitor investigating Commissar Xenofucker. The Inquisitor begins a sting operation and the local Regiment splits between the loyalists and the Taufuckers.

Characters

This section includes all characters involved in this clusterfuck.

Imperial Forces

Imperial Guard

• Commissar Xenofucker:

• Saint Waifu Commander:

• Sanctioned Psyker who was almost raped by Daemonette:

• Marcus:

• Guardsman who was almost raped by Eldar:

• Assortment of Kriegers:

• Random Harmonica Guardsman:

Space Marines

• Penicillus, Apothecary of the Deathwing

• Ultramarine Bro

• Minotaurs

• Blood Ravens

• Deathwatch

Sisters of Battle

• Living Saint Celestein (not Celestine)

• Living Saint Celestine (not Celestein)

• Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil

• Sister Lydia

• Animal-loving Sister Hospitaller

Mechanicus

• Enginseer Mike L33: Used an Earthshaker Cannon on Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker.

• Magos Xenobiologis: Realised entire biosphere of planet was in fact devolved Tyranids.

• Dominus Exitium Imperator-Class Battle Titan responsible for the recovery of the Æonic Orb. Got smacked about by Orknids

• Archmagos Magnificus Apparatos Responsible for the deployment of Titan legions on the planet as a means to both capture the Orb and avoid an Exterminatus

Inquisition

• Xeno Hunting Inquisitor: Puked in the back of a Rhino.

• Ordo Malleus Inquisitor: Showed up late to the party, and when he found out about the Tau-Slaanesh-Daemon Engune-Craftworld, left for the nearest Imperial Port to get drunk.

Xenos

Eldar

• Thirsty Farseer: Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthdates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away.

• Constantiy-respawning Eldar: Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces. Was a titan at one point in time.

• Dark Eldar: Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.

Tyranid/Ork/Orkanids?

• Gitsmacka

• DokTank

• Hivefleet

• Planetary Hivemind

• Rapevines

Necrons

• Necron Lord I

• Necron Lord II

• Unnamed Destroyer Lord

• Æonic Orb

Tau

• Ethereal

• SlaaneshTau Leader

• SlaaneshTau Diplothot

Chaos Forces

Slaaneshi

• Daemonette: Developed a hug fetish. Has a crush on Psykerbro.

• Chaos Lord Vögeln: Chaos Lord of the "Alluring Ostriches" warband. Failed in his mission by Slaanesh him/her/itself to cum on the Celestine Bodypillow, and was turned into Chaos Spawn for his failure. Wait no-AAASJEHDUBEUJSIJSJ

Gallery

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