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[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AyTuQFdn3E Game of Thones BITCH, Game of thrones BITCH]]] | [[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AyTuQFdn3E Game of Thones BITCH, Game of thrones BITCH]]] | ||
[[A Song of Ice and Fire]] is a fantasy book series that you probably never heard of before you | [[A Song of Ice and Fire]] is a fantasy book series that you probably never heard of before you pirated the torrents of the HBO show. It is easily one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, George R. R. Martin, has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different authors together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors. The series itself is set on the [[Knight|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive civil war drawing its nations into conflict. There's at least five kings depending on how you're counting, they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all of the fuck-ups are managing to lose simultaneously. Said fuck-ups include: | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHBqHtOR7R4 House Stark]:''' Proud, hardass, northerners who serve as the series' main narrators. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that bites them in the ass frequently. | |||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b-8Cp4J9F8 House Lannister]:''' Rich, fabulous, bastards who always pay their debts. Not much of a martial tradition but | *'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHBqHtOR7R4 House Stark]:''' Proud, hardass, northerners who serve as the series' main narrators. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that bites them in the ass frequently. House Words: ''Winter is coming.'' | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wokz3LOBP9c House Baratheon]:''' Ascended to the throne after a successful rebellion. Produce no less than three claimants to the | *'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b-8Cp4J9F8 House Lannister]:''' Rich, fabulous, bastards who always pay their debts. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn2l2_v6Ur8 they will fucking cut you]. House Words: ''Hear me roar.'' | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NddW6BlLKqo House Targaryen]:''' The one time dragon kings and rulers of Westeros. Due to a policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]] they sired a line of increasingly unstable kings, culminating in Aerys "[[That Guy]]" Targaryen and a palace coup. | *'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wokz3LOBP9c House Baratheon]:''' Ascended to the iron throne after a successful rebellion. Produce no less than three claimants to the succession, each more shit than the last. House Words: ''Ours is the Fury.'' | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NddW6BlLKqo House Targaryen]:''' The one time dragon kings and rulers of Westeros. Due to a policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]] they sired a line of increasingly unstable kings, culminating in Aerys "[[That Guy]]" Targaryen and a palace coup. House Words: ''Fire and Blood.'' | |||
*'''House Tully:''' Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. | *'''House Tully:''' Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRZbBhNbcRE House Arryn]:''' Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. | *'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRZbBhNbcRE House Arryn]:''' Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. House Words: ''Family, Duty, Honor.'' | ||
*'''House Greyjoy:''' [[Dark Eldar|Piratical raiders]] who sail around Westeros sticking their dicks in people's eyes. Nobody really likes them but they're tolerated as long as they remain useful and a relatively minor nuisance. | *'''House Greyjoy:''' [[Dark Eldar|Piratical raiders]] who sail around Westeros sticking their dicks in people's eyes. Nobody really likes them but they're tolerated as long as they remain useful and a relatively minor nuisance. House Words: ''We do now sow.'' | ||
*'''House Tyrell:''' Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence. | *'''House Tyrell:''' Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence. House Words: ''Growing strong.'' | ||
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnEHsU2hJv8 Night's Watch]:''' The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning the wall, a [[Derp|giant wall]] that separates the relative tranquility of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in | *'''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnEHsU2hJv8 Night's Watch]:''' The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning the wall, a [[Derp|giant wall]] that separates the relative tranquility of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]. | ||
==Games== | ==Games== | ||
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]] | [[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]] | ||
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, [[White Wolf]]. Martin | Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, [[White Wolf]]. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games. | ||
===Books=== | ===Books=== | ||
Revision as of 01:50, 29 July 2012
A Song of Ice and Fire is a fantasy book series that you probably never heard of before you pirated the torrents of the HBO show. It is easily one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, George R. R. Martin, has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American Tolkien" by Time magazine gormless idiots who lump diametrically different authors together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors. The series itself is set on the totally not medieval European ripoff realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive civil war drawing its nations into conflict. There's at least five kings depending on how you're counting, they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all of the fuck-ups are managing to lose simultaneously. Said fuck-ups include:
- House Stark: Proud, hardass, northerners who serve as the series' main narrators. They have a tendency towards Lawful Stupid that bites them in the ass frequently. House Words: Winter is coming.
- House Lannister: Rich, fabulous, bastards who always pay their debts. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them they will fucking cut you. House Words: Hear me roar.
- House Baratheon: Ascended to the iron throne after a successful rebellion. Produce no less than three claimants to the succession, each more shit than the last. House Words: Ours is the Fury.
- House Targaryen: The one time dragon kings and rulers of Westeros. Due to a policy of catastrophic inbreeding they sired a line of increasingly unstable kings, culminating in Aerys "That Guy" Targaryen and a palace coup. House Words: Fire and Blood.
- House Tully: Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids.
- House Arryn: Mountain lords turned neurotic shut ins. House Words: Family, Duty, Honor.
- House Greyjoy: Piratical raiders who sail around Westeros sticking their dicks in people's eyes. Nobody really likes them but they're tolerated as long as they remain useful and a relatively minor nuisance. House Words: We do now sow.
- House Tyrell: Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence. House Words: Growing strong.
- Night's Watch: The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning the wall, a giant wall that separates the relative tranquility of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of Diplomacy and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in Warhammer Fantasy Battle.
Games
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on obsessive fanboys /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable card game put out in 2002 by Fantasy Flight Games and a risk-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of White Wolf's subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.
Books
- A Game of Thrones
- A Clash of Kings
- A Storm of Swords
- A Feast for Crows
- A Dance with Dragons
- The Winds of Winter
- A Dream of Spring